Categories: GeneralLook Pro

Look Pro, Part VIII: The Phantom Menace

Casually Deliberate is at the core of Looking Pro; it’s something that comes from a lifetime spent on a bike, becoming one with the machine. There are two components to this phenomenon, two organisms forming a symbiotic bond and working together in perfect harmony towards an end.

The Machine. Immaculate. Every piece of kit in its place, adjusted to the millimeter; il posizione must be set up precisely to maximize the V-Locus. The Principle of Silence reigns supreme; no creaks, no squeaks – no Rattle, just the Hum from the tires and spokes as they cut through the air. Every last detail is looked after; the frame is spotless and the bars perfectly wrapped.

The rider. A paradox. Victim at the hands of the Man with the Hammer, yet conqueror of their own physical limitations. Perched on the saddle, the rider is comfortable as the legs spin with deceptive ease. Every movement is perfect and carefully controlled, yet nothing is given undue consideration. The hands reach out and rest easy on the bars. The back is simultaneously arched and flat as the body finds the ideal balance between transferring maximum power to the pedals while keeping the shoulders low and narrow to punch the smallest possible hole through the air.

Nothing conveys this notion as much as riding in the Phantom Aerobars. The forearms resting on the tops, hands draped loosely in the air, clutching at nothing but wind: physics are seemingly defied as somehow the rider manages to not only steer, but also coax the leverage from the arms required to propel the machine forward. In a word: Grace.

It is paramount that any rider who endeavors to Look Pro learn to ride in this difficult position. But beware: one must take care to avoid crashing while practicing; not only is crashing while trying to Look Pro un-casual, it is monumentally un-Pro. That’s a tip.

Because your arms are resting on the bars with your hands dangling unsupported, you will need a Magnificent Stroke with a smooth upward motion in order to provide the counter-balance that your arms normally provide.
You will also need a strong core to support your body and avoid supporting your shoulders by leaning on your forearms too much. Not only will this become uncomfortable, but the added weight on the bars will make the bicycle unstable.
Find the V-Locus. Your bike must be set up properly, allowing you to ride in a neutral position in order to minimize undue torquing or twisting.
While unsightly and generally frowned upon, older model Shimano shifters with outboard shift cables make for a kind of crutch as you learn to ride in this position; avoid clutching the cables too firmly, but it is permissible to hold them loosely to provide some modicum of steering and leverage.
Watch where you’re going; you don’t want to be hitting potholes or road furniture while conducting what amounts to a high-speed balancing act.

One last consideration, the gut you’ve been nursing since discovering that beer is the ideal post-ride recovery drink may actually help keep your forearms unweighted. I recommend you keep testing that theory until it becomes true.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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steampower says:

Jul 13 2011 at 8:19 pm

legalize spinaci!
Ron says:

Jul 13 2011 at 8:57 pm

However skinny these lads may be, they are fit & strong in my book. I'll take a cyclist over an NFLer any day. Let's play a game: who live longer and will fewer insane health issues?

Cool photos!

As for the "phantom menace" I go bonkers when they do this, especially if they are the sole remaining break away lad, like BOOOM today. "Yes, I am hauling my arse off. Yes, I am getting chased by 178 angry, wet met. Yes, I lack aerobars. However, I'm going into TT mode, I'm going to work it, and I'm going to look good doing it."

Sweetness.

I also LOVE seeing the lads names on their jerseys, however small or tucked in. Awesomeness. It's like a little reminder that they are living and breathing, not just gods. Though, they still are stunning with their form.

Velcro, on!
Marcus says:

Jul 13 2011 at 9:17 pm

@Ron

However skinny these lads may be, they are fit & strong in my book. I'll take a cyclist over an NFLer any day. Let's play a game: who live longer and will fewer insane health issues?

Professional cyclists living longer with no health issues??? C'mon Ron. Think we might need to be a few more years on from the EPO era (esp 2003/4 when about 8 pros died in a year, not from accidents) before cycling can claim to that title...
Pedale.Forchetta says:

Jul 14 2011 at 12:35 am

@Jeff in PetroMetro
For an American I think would be easy... And thanks for your words!
Ron says:

Jul 14 2011 at 4:38 am

PABs & CasDel...boy, if you miss even one article around here you could be in the dark on things...

Marcus, very true. I guess I was referring to you average PRO cyclist, one who might take some uppers, a bit of champagne after a win. Plenty of low-impact, high mileage sporting though, and lots of massages.

I was thinking these lads are going to be in better shape down the line than a guy who weighs 330 pounds and made a living smashing his head into things.

But, as you point out, who knows what will happen to guys who raced for years on EPO, DHEA or other powerful substances.

Good point.

And I totally missed the tri-jersey on Cancellara. I think I was blinded by how white his princesses are in the photo.

Oh, and the announcers were talking about how touchy PROs are about their shoes the other day when Thor had a shoe issue. I have a pair of shoes that are giving me a hell of a time with cleat placement. All the way back, middle, left, right. Do you guys have a system for setting the cleats or what? I'm talking when you get a totally new pair of shoes and haven't worn that model before. Whenever I think I have it set, I'll go on a longer ride and bam, sore feet. Ugh.
ChrisO says:

Jul 14 2011 at 4:57 am

@Ron

I had a bike fit recently and though I wasn't initially impressed with their thoughts on saddle and bar height the bit that worked best for me was changing the cleat angles.

I have one leg a bit shorter than the other. Not so much that I limp but enough that you can see the difference in the impression my arse has made on my Brooks saddle.

That was also affecting my knee when I was riding but a small insert in one shoe plus a change to the angle of the cleat on that leg has made a big difference. It's not much but I would never have done it by myself as I have always had them on the centre line.

My moral of the story - if it's giving you trouble get someone to look at it properly. With lasers and shit.
Blah says:

Jul 14 2011 at 5:06 am

@ChrisO

@Ron
With lasers and shit.

I laughed. Nice. And I'm glad you got your fit sorted.
Minion says:

Jul 15 2011 at 4:36 pm

I reckon bike fit is an ongoing process of adjustment and adaptation. I don't really like the idea of going to a shop and getting "a" (definitive, now I fit my bike forever) bike fitting done. When you consider it as a series of small changes over time, I reckon you get a much better perspective on it.
Blah says:

Jul 15 2011 at 5:14 pm

@Minion
Indeed, but blindly adapting to a poor fit can feel "fine" if you don't know what a good fit feels like. And proper fitting can lead to more efficient and more powerful performance, which can be impossible to know you're missing out on.
Getting a knowledgable fit done will give a solid base upon which to build over time.
Nate says:

Jul 15 2011 at 8:52 pm

@mouse
He got Gilbert to show up, that accounts for 95% of all panache.