Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste. Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right. Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatible with the majority of curvy, plastic frames prominent today). While a folded tubular held under the seat with a Christophe toe-strap may have been de riguer and kinda cool back in the day, running tubs nowadays is not only uncommon, but an exercise in futility should one ride on any road less smooth and glass-free than a baby’s bum. So you see, Rule #31 was a no-brainer.
But even this most important of Rules has its drawbacks; stuffing the three pockets of your jersey can leave you looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, albeit with the hunch on the lower back, and more akin to a series of tumours across the hips and lower spine. Not a pretty sight. My usual pocket-stuffing routine would entail a tube and tyre levers bundled together with a rubber band, stuffed in the middle pocket, with a mini pump accompanying it. The phone would go in the right hip pocket, along with a camera (if there were to be some photo ops along the route, or blatant bike porn shots) and gels and bars in the left. Any extraneous clothing shed en route (arm warmers, cap, gloves) would then be forced in wherever they would fit. If a jacket was required, then all hell would break loose.
But recently I happened by chance upon an item that has made my life, and my riding experience all the easier and clutter-free. Lezyne products were having a season launch of their new, cool gear, and everyone attending received a free gift; in my case, I was handed the Caddy Sack, a simple PVC pouch. Inside was a metal patch kit with glueless patches, and a pair of mini tyre levers. I took it with a degree of dismissal, thinking it would just end up in the pile of superfluous bike crap scattered around my house. But I decided I’d see how much I could load it up, and was surprised to find that it holds a veritable shitload of gear. There’s room aplenty for a tube, levers, patch kit, multi tool, card wallet and phone. But if I want to, I can easily ft in another tube, a bar or two and a couple of gels. And it fits with ease into the middle pocket of all my jerseys, especially the sweet V jersey which is always the go-to garment of choice. This leaves the two outside pockets with more room than ever for whatever the ride requires from the aforementioned list-of-crap-one-may-carry.
Sitting alongside the 31 Sack is always the best mini pump I’ve ever used, the Lezyne Pressure Drive M (for medium). Why is it the best? Just look at it! It’s sexy, yeah, but for such a small unit it packs plenty of air into each stroke, and I can get a geniune 100PSI into my tubes during any roadside repair. But the best feature is the flexible screw-in hose, which eliminates the chance of breaking off the screw-on end of Presta valves, as has happened to the best of us when vigourously hacking away with a fixed-head pump. C’mon, admit it, you’ve done it. No more chance of that with this little beauty. Quite simply, it rules (31 especially).
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@marvo larvo
"Velomifatties"?! Would "Velominata Voluptua" cause less offence, d'ya think?
@Gianni
I must admit, the Lezyne glueless patches aren't their best work. But, Park Tool ones are the duck's guts. They stick good. Now go say 3 Hail Eddys as penance.
Nobody has mentioned food/drink - don't you carry anything ?
I have:
Saddle Pack: one tube, multi tool, money, keys, phone, CO2 canister.
Middle Pocket: mini-pump (Zefal Carbon)and another tube, plus ID and medical card.
Side Pockets: each with soft pack carb/electrolyte concentrate and backup tablets.
Mind you I have a Brooks so I guess I would be burned at the stake before asking for the saddle pack to be taken into consideration as well.
There is plenty of room for tools, spares, food & drink in your pockets IMHO.
An under-saddle bag was one of the first accessories I purchased after buying my first brand new road bike in college. It was also one of the first things I removed when I learned about The Rules.
The aesthetic improvement was drastic and immediate.
I think it encouraged me to take more stuff than I needed. For example, I had a coin in there so I could change the battery on my bike computer.
The under-saddle bag is for the guy who packs two tubes on a fully supported group ride. If you're unlucky enough to flat both tires while alone with no sag vehicle in sight, you should probably just commit seppuku with your tire lever.
I saw a few guys like you riding around Lake Taupo last year - sleek, clean bikes for sure but so much shit in their pockets their jerseys were snagging on their saddles every time they stood up.
I like the aesthetic of an unfettered bike as much as the next guy, but on longer rides I like to spread the load around so I just take the saddle bag off when I take a picture of my bike... ;-)
With the split in the legions that Rule 31 seems to inspire, is there room for it to be a seasonal rule?
In the summer, when you are looking nice and skinny, have that great tan, and are in your best kit on your nicest steed, one should abide by Rule 31.
But, when the temps drop and the weather turns nasty, most of us pack on the clothes, the pounds, and are on our bad weather bike, maybe even with fenders. If you have fenders on a bike, why worry about a micro saddle bag? The aesthetic joys of your bike are already shot.
Could Rule 31 be made a spring/summer rule and it gets tossed for fall/winter? I mean, is a saddle bag really going to taint your status if you are riding in wind and sleet?
To be honest, nothing is worse than those dickhead pouches that go on the top tube, just behind the handlebars, they are irrevocably bad and should be eradicated from the earth.
My saddle bag only comes out in winter when i have to load up with extra clothes, mits etc... especially as i live in the good old UK, where rain is inevitable throughout 6 months of the year, one can only be too careful.
Opposite for me, in terms of seasonal needs. I'm in the Gulf where the need for extra stuff is high at any time and probably greater in summer.
We can be quite a few miles from anything and facing pretty dire consequences if we run out of food or energy drink or need more than one tube. Water is usually available if you know where to find it but you lose so much salt you need carbs and electrolyte too. And on a longer ride you need some food as well. Too much for pockets alone.
V-type hard to me also means being self reliant. I'd rather have a wicker basket on my bars than rely on a support car or finding a convenience store or borrowing tools from someone with a saddle pack.
With heavy guilt I too admit to using a saddle bag. I see it as my team car that follows really really closely without the director shouting at me from the window. Sure, I can make excuses too. Most of my riding occurs on remote roads, I live in a cold climate, my jersey pockets are already stuffed with food, phone, card wallet, tin of "dope", blah blah blah. Fact of the matter is I prefer having my svelte Fizik clip-on saddle bag carry allen wrenches, tire levers, patch kit, and CO2 cartridges better than having all that crap in my jersey pockets which are loaded with other crap. I'm with Oli on removal for pics and ChrisO on the self-reliance. I think if Rule 31 is to be breached it should be done as elegantly as possible (the Holist in me). The Fizik bags don't leave unsightly marks on seat posts and are easily switched from steed to steed with matching saddles.