Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste. Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right. Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatible with the majority of curvy, plastic frames prominent today). While a folded tubular held under the seat with a Christophe toe-strap may have been de riguer and kinda cool back in the day, running tubs nowadays is not only uncommon, but an exercise in futility should one ride on any road less smooth and glass-free than a baby’s bum. So you see, Rule #31 was a no-brainer.
But even this most important of Rules has its drawbacks; stuffing the three pockets of your jersey can leave you looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, albeit with the hunch on the lower back, and more akin to a series of tumours across the hips and lower spine. Not a pretty sight. My usual pocket-stuffing routine would entail a tube and tyre levers bundled together with a rubber band, stuffed in the middle pocket, with a mini pump accompanying it. The phone would go in the right hip pocket, along with a camera (if there were to be some photo ops along the route, or blatant bike porn shots) and gels and bars in the left. Any extraneous clothing shed en route (arm warmers, cap, gloves) would then be forced in wherever they would fit. If a jacket was required, then all hell would break loose.
But recently I happened by chance upon an item that has made my life, and my riding experience all the easier and clutter-free. Lezyne products were having a season launch of their new, cool gear, and everyone attending received a free gift; in my case, I was handed the Caddy Sack, a simple PVC pouch. Inside was a metal patch kit with glueless patches, and a pair of mini tyre levers. I took it with a degree of dismissal, thinking it would just end up in the pile of superfluous bike crap scattered around my house. But I decided I’d see how much I could load it up, and was surprised to find that it holds a veritable shitload of gear. There’s room aplenty for a tube, levers, patch kit, multi tool, card wallet and phone. But if I want to, I can easily ft in another tube, a bar or two and a couple of gels. And it fits with ease into the middle pocket of all my jerseys, especially the sweet V jersey which is always the go-to garment of choice. This leaves the two outside pockets with more room than ever for whatever the ride requires from the aforementioned list-of-crap-one-may-carry.
Sitting alongside the 31 Sack is always the best mini pump I’ve ever used, the Lezyne Pressure Drive M (for medium). Why is it the best? Just look at it! It’s sexy, yeah, but for such a small unit it packs plenty of air into each stroke, and I can get a geniune 100PSI into my tubes during any roadside repair. But the best feature is the flexible screw-in hose, which eliminates the chance of breaking off the screw-on end of Presta valves, as has happened to the best of us when vigourously hacking away with a fixed-head pump. C’mon, admit it, you’ve done it. No more chance of that with this little beauty. Quite simply, it rules (31 especially).
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I'm very jealous of your bike Marko. Which gets me to thinking Frank - we need a page to show off our bike porn.
@Cyclops
Thanks, I think, although your bike is nothing to scoff at. That pic was taken by Frank in June on the Tre Cime. I've made many upgrades since then (gruppo, bars, crankset, seat post). The new page for us all to post pics of our collective stable has been bandied about for quite some time. Frank needs to get on that as the masterful programmer of this site. It'll happen.
@Marko
Doth mine eyes deceive, or are you in a ridiculously low gear? While I don't ride with a saddle bag, I did notice that Michael Barry and others all had them on their winter bikes in Le Métier
@ChrisO
Bingo! That's exactly why I ride in whatever rules-breaking fashion may be needed. For me, I only stop to refill water or to release water. One metric for my rides is pedal-to-park time. Minimizing this value is key. Anything under 100km, and I can get by with just a couple bottles and my jersey pockets. For rides longer than this, I'm worse than you all and don a Camelbak. I'd rather look like a toolshed than make unnecessary water stops, and there are some places on this earth where you ride and you need at least 100oz of water to get between refill spots.
@Collin
Yeah, a lot of times I ride alone, and I don't take my U-lock with me when I ride my nice bike as opposed to my old commuter, as it's heavy and takes up room. That means I need to take with me what I need for my ride, so I don't need to stop anywhere. I don't want to go into a store and risk leaving my bike outside for even a second without being watched. Bike shops are about the only place that allows you to bring in a bike, so stopping options are limited unless you know where food carts are, or the ride route is going to pass by a friend's house.
The Camelbak is a mixed bag. I have one for long rides in the hot summer weather, but I reserve that for metric centuries or longer, and only on very hot days because it just isn't very comfortable. The downside is it keeps the back of your jersey from being able to evaporate quickly. I really don't like wearing it, and if I can get away with just two water bottles on the bike because I know where I can refill easily, I refuse to wear it. On the other hand, it's great for hiking!
Rule 1. Poor Rule 1 all broked, knowingly and it is permeating the peleton in volation of Rule 2. This is not good by Rule 3 standards.Rule 30 has been violated as has Rule 32. That is 6 Rule violations in relation to this topic out of a possible 82 Rules. A pic of a "not a COTHO cockring" from my Velomihottie. She knows the rules.
@Steampunk
I'm probably on the 16 or 17 of my 11-23 as it seems that's what I'm in most of the time. If I remember that pic was taken not too far beyond the crest of a climb and transitioning to a long gradual downhill whereby I probably ended up in the 12 or something.
I thought about posting some of those Le Metier pics of the saddlebags but it wouldn't have done any good. The response, I gather, would have been "HTFU" or "Pros transcend The Rules." No matter, I stand by my breakage of Rule 31.
@mcsqueak
I use a small camelbak on gravel rides over 80k or so for two reasons 1) most of the gravelling I do takes place miles from any convenience so it's between the camelbak and a water purifier/chemical treatment when water sources are handy - no thanks 2) as with most cross bikes, mine only has one bottle cage and I refuse to retro-fit another or attempt to drill in threaded inserts through carbon fiber. Thus, the camelbak is the way to go in that application.
This probably requires further discussion. Do pros transcend the Rules, or do they innovate them? Pros are unquestionably much cooler than we are, and I think we would be best to follow their lead rather than vehemently resist. To me, The Rules seem attractively malleable, rather than rigid.
I think that one must remember that if you are able to dish out HUGE amounts of "V" (pro or otherwise) you can pretty much get away with anything.
Looking "like a toolshed"? I'll have you know I never have worn a camelback on a road ride, never will. Personally I think camelbacks rank right up there with helmet visors on the road.