In light of the first North American Cogal (a Cogal is a gathering of Velominati just like a Cabal was a gathering of Illuminati); this Guest Article by community lurker @gmoosh seems apropos. Except that obviously every ride starts at V past the hour. In this spirit, we have added Rule #87.
Message from the Keepers to @gmoosh, it is precisely V past Awesome; time to stop lurking and start sharing more of your undeniable insight into la Vie Velominatus with the community.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
Things that happen on time: Saturn V rocket launches. D-Day invasions. BBC time codes. Japanese Shinkansen. UCI time trials. Things that do not. Greyhound buses. Airline flights. Weddings. Work meetings.
There is an obvious, significant and qualitative difference between them. One class are demonstrable showcases of Rule #5. The other involve the mundane, forgettable and lamentable periods of time between such brilliance.
That is why the best rides, and, I would argue, every ride, should leave at exactly the stated time. If the ride is called for 7:30, it should leave at 7:30. Not 7:31. Not 7:29. Anyone arriving after the stated time of departure should see, far up the road, the Lycra-clad asses of Ones-Who-Take Riding-Seriously.
The upside of always leaving on time is considerable. Others will be late exactly once. You signal that the sanctity of this ride, like all rides, is not something with which you should muck. You demonstrate, not with words but with actions, your commitment. As a bonus, you make more time for post-ride espresso.
Conversely, if you’re not ready to roll at the announced time, you’re prove that in your feebly misplaced life, other things-sleeping, driving, talking to you spouse or even pumping your tires-are more important than The Ride. You are wrong. That’s why you are sprinting up the street like a domestique after a puncture, while everyone else is chatting with insouciance on the rollout far ahead of you.
Don’t believe that starting on time is important? Ask Pedro Delgado. In the 1989 Tour, he showed up 2:40 late to the opening prologue, accepted his fate and rocked as hard as he could. And lost the Tour, finishing third behind an aero-helmeted Greg Lemond, and a collapsed and crying Laurent Fignon.
It is worth mentioning that there is exactly one acceptable way to be late: Overtaking the leader of the group on the first significant hill in a casually deliberate display of the Five and Dime. If you can’t consistently do that, show up ready to roll, and roll when expected.
Discipline. Commitment. Punctuality. Three great tastes that taste great together.
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thanks, all, for the kind words. i'm kind of a nut about punctuality as well. odd, though, that although i'm on time for most things, i'm usually early and chillin' for bicycle stuff. there's probably something deep-seated in there about motivation and desire, but i digress.
i agree with all of you as well, especially:
steampunk: i love the idea of the coffee shop meet-up. it would be great to hang out and enjoy the pre-ride espresso during one of the few times you can legitimately sport a cycling cap.
wiscot and joe: thanks to your words, i now appreciate even more the additional tranquillo that punctuality generates. hadn't thought of it in those terms before, but you're absolutely right.
chapeau: "I pride myself on punctuality, and interpret tardiness in others as disrespect." beautifully said.
and as for the shout-out from frank on more contributions--point taken! this is a great community here, and that's down to a pantload of cool people with a shared belief in laying down the V.
thanks!
@gmoosh: Well put indeed. I have a little saying I learned from my uncle Jim who was never late for anything, I mean never. You tell me we are going fishing at 6:30 damn it I expect to have my line wet at 6:30 not launching the damn boat! As the post states... I was late once after that first time I didn't get to go fishing.
fasthair
@Cyclops
Agreed. My VMH seems to think that the appointment time is the time you ought to walk out the door, not arrive. One of those things you pick your battles with: If it is her activity, let it ride ....
You know, I've been thinking about this post all day. While a ride can do marvels to calm frayed nerves and unpleasant attitude, it isn't good to start in a state of agitation, if that's not a redundancy. The bike keeps me mentally sane, but I (like I suspect many of us do) have a pre-ride routine in terms of how I get ready. The order I get dressed in, making sure I'm properly dressed for the weather, preparing my bottles, going into the garage, pumping up the tires, checking that I have my watch, ID, and gels, getting the right lenses in the glasses, selecting what shoes I'll wear, what shoe covers I need (if necessary) helmet on, and leaving. I don't like to be rushed as I set out - all I want to initially focus on is my ride and route. The rest tends to sort itself out.
@gmoosh
V. strong arrival. Don't be so shy.
@gmoosh Great article, and I couldn't agree more.
I hate waiting around, and I hate people who think that showing up to where the ride starts at the time it starts is on time.
As my football coach used to say: Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.
@ChrisO
I want to jam the alarm clock down the girlfriends throat when she does this. She then has the audacity later to say she is tired and wish she got more sleep. Don't set the alarm for two hours early and wake the fuck up the first time it goes off. Tada! Two more hours of sleep. I'm just going to kick her out of bed if she hits snooze when we start living together. I don't care that her bed is lofted.
@sgt
I'll second that as a rule as well. I do tend to end up driving the 16km to my group ride but I need the motivation to just say "no, I don't get to do this often enough" and walk out the house and leave them to organise themselves to get to mini rugby on time.
An opportunity to focus on the bike and let the other shit free before stating the ride proper.
I have had to buy my boss a watch for his birthday, because fuck me if a 9am meeting is not supposed to start until 10 past! I must have missed the memo about the change in time zones around my bosses desk!
Punctuality is just courtesy, whether it is a ride, meeting or a date - it is not really that hard to do.
A-Merckx, gmoosh. I learned the "early is on time, on time is late, late is unacceptable" from George Cavender at the University of Michigan (a nice wikipedia article, btw...) As any Velominatus will tell you, riding and all it's activities are To Be Taken Seriously. Those who do not respect The Rules are to be shunned. Arrival late, especially the showing up at the appointed time not ready, deserve frame pumping and derision, not tolerance. If I am late, I accept the consequences, like Delgado did.
I thank my lucky stars that my VMH is of a like mind. She is never late for an appointed occassion. If it takes 20 minutes to get there, she knows to be ready to walk out the door 25 minutes before that. This, of course, is why she is my VMH. I had a girlfriend one time than would never do this. If we had to leave at noon, I'd tell her we had to leave at 11:30. We'd be on time. After a few times, she caught on, and I couldn't take her bullshit. Dropped her like she was cavendouche on the Aubisque.
When I tell friends to come over at a certain time for dinner, the question is always asked if that is seemunkee time or Mrs. Munkee time. One means on time the other means....
My daughter is getting married on Sat. I'll let you know if it starts on time.