In light of the first North American Cogal (a Cogal is a gathering of Velominati just like a Cabal was a gathering of Illuminati); this Guest Article by community lurker @gmoosh seems apropos. Except that obviously every ride starts at V past the hour. In this spirit, we have added Rule #87.
Message from the Keepers to @gmoosh, it is precisely V past Awesome; time to stop lurking and start sharing more of your undeniable insight into la Vie Velominatus with the community.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
Things that happen on time: Saturn V rocket launches. D-Day invasions. BBC time codes. Japanese Shinkansen. UCI time trials. Things that do not. Greyhound buses. Airline flights. Weddings. Work meetings.
There is an obvious, significant and qualitative difference between them. One class are demonstrable showcases of Rule #5. The other involve the mundane, forgettable and lamentable periods of time between such brilliance.
That is why the best rides, and, I would argue, every ride, should leave at exactly the stated time. If the ride is called for 7:30, it should leave at 7:30. Not 7:31. Not 7:29. Anyone arriving after the stated time of departure should see, far up the road, the Lycra-clad asses of Ones-Who-Take Riding-Seriously.
The upside of always leaving on time is considerable. Others will be late exactly once. You signal that the sanctity of this ride, like all rides, is not something with which you should muck. You demonstrate, not with words but with actions, your commitment. As a bonus, you make more time for post-ride espresso.
Conversely, if you’re not ready to roll at the announced time, you’re prove that in your feebly misplaced life, other things-sleeping, driving, talking to you spouse or even pumping your tires-are more important than The Ride. You are wrong. That’s why you are sprinting up the street like a domestique after a puncture, while everyone else is chatting with insouciance on the rollout far ahead of you.
Don’t believe that starting on time is important? Ask Pedro Delgado. In the 1989 Tour, he showed up 2:40 late to the opening prologue, accepted his fate and rocked as hard as he could. And lost the Tour, finishing third behind an aero-helmeted Greg Lemond, and a collapsed and crying Laurent Fignon.
It is worth mentioning that there is exactly one acceptable way to be late: Overtaking the leader of the group on the first significant hill in a casually deliberate display of the Five and Dime. If you can’t consistently do that, show up ready to roll, and roll when expected.
Discipline. Commitment. Punctuality. Three great tastes that taste great together.
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@frank
You should have seen me panicking in my car while I was crawling through traffic on the 520 on Friday.
"OMG I drove 175 miles and a traffic jam in the last 5 is going to make me fucking late to dinner!".
Made it on time, barely, dispite the lack of suitable parking on Capitol Hill. Your city sure is a cluster fuck on Friday evening.
Punctuality is next to godliness.
(nitpicking) I'm pretty sure the Illuminati were part of a "cabal" not a "cobal".
@Oli
I suppose a regular group develops its own ethic but I think you're missing the point. Late is late. It's the thin end of the wedge. Tolerating it only encourages it. Ten riders waiting for one guy for V minutes is not totally acceptable. Nor does it make them control freaks.
A margin for error only changes the time of departure.
Its not that hard: take your V minute margin for error and put it in your schedule, not your group's schedule.
@Oli
Amen. Gotta agree with the V minutes of grace... Best not to let group rides turn into military operations .
@frank
Dude, just cos I know you wouldn't want the Awesome of the article to be spoiled, I'm pretty sure the Illuminati had Cabals...
Screw that I've never been early for anything in my life. I am on time for rides but the V period of grace is something everyone has used at some point. The V period is for events that are outside your control, longer than that you're unorganised adn keeping everyone waiting.
@Joe
This is a slippery one. I have people I ride with that if they say they are going to show and are late, there is a damn good reason - I wait. I have others that the dog regularly eats their V-work, are always late, and have only excuses the next day - I leave, but I have absolutely no problem riding solo. It's the only way I'll ever "win a stage".
Some pre-rides I find myself hoping no one shows because I'm in that "isolation might have a better chance of bringing la volupté".
Of course, my volupté isn't the transcendent, extended grace of the Giants of the Road, it's more like the awkward few seconds of Joey right before he was "OK".
That said, I'm definitely showing up an hour early to the Texas Cogal.
@Mikael Liddy
Been biting my tongue on this for several months...
@Steampunk
I think the "Cogal" works fine, but when he actually calls it a Cobal in the intro to the article then something must be said...
Great first contribution! It resonates with me as my friend would always be late when we arranged to meet. Then I read somewhere that his tardiness was due to his feeling more important, for whatever reason. The article suggested giving him 15 minutes and then leaving, and he was often much later that that. It was before mobile/cell phones and he'd call me later and ask where I was. I told him I waited 15 minutes and thought he'd forgotten so went home. It only happened two or three times, then he was always punctual.
Of course it was this particular friend I have to thank for getting me into road cycling, and in our growing group ride, you get a few mins leeway.
One way I help myself be on time for the rides is organising my stuff after every ride. Except for stuff that might need to go in the washing machine, helmet, gloves, emergency supplies (in Lezyne case) etc. all go in the usual place. Chain gets a clean and lube. To speed up the warm up I have a quick shower pre-ride, get dressed, pump up tyres and I'm ready to rock, 20 mins tops. Also, I find being a couple of minutes early allows time for a few stretches.