Categories: General

V-Announcements: The Way of the Cycling Disciple

WE’VE BEEN BUYSSE PREPARING A BOOK

We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement:

The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in louder slurs. This can mean only one thing: Velominati is publishing a book.

It is our great pleasure to announce that Velominati has teamed up with Sceptre (subsidiary of Hodder & Stoughton Publishers in the UK) to publish a book framed within the context of The Rules. The book will contain a listing of all the Rules as they currently exist, supplemented with essays written in the spirit of La Vie Velominatus. The book’s subtitle has not yet been finalized but it is provisionally entitled, “The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple”.

Drummond Moir, who has the distinguished challenge of being named our editor (I hope he knows how to herd cats), had the following to say about the book:

I’m so looking forward to this. Imagine a two-wheeled Fight Club, or a cycling version of Neil Strauss’s cult bestseller The Game, and you’re halfway there.

I’ve seen Fight Club, but have no idea what The Game is. For simplicity’s sake, I’ll assume its Awesome. We plan to finish the manuscript by the New Year, and the book will be published in June, 2013. More information may be found on BookTrade.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your suport, and for making Velominati a place worth visiting. VLVV.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

mouse says:

Oct 8 2012 at 1:38 pm

@ChrisO

Fantastic news... the perfect Velominati book IMHO would have:

1. Free sample sachet of Nipple Lube attached to every cover.

2. Scratch and sniff page of Flandrian mud.

3. A Cipograph image of the Assos girl - where it looks normal until you tilt it and her bib shorts come off.

Would prefer a scratch and sniff of the Assos girl...
Fausto says:

Oct 8 2012 at 2:01 pm

Splendid, where do I sign?

@wiscot, @TBONE

Disturbing, but fucking funny at the same time.
Captain Poulidor says:

Oct 8 2012 at 3:06 pm

@TBONE @wiscot The author is apparently "Fotie Photonauer". Anyone else smell spoof? (As it were.)
Winelli says:

Oct 8 2012 at 3:48 pm

We can see what will happen.

There will be people out there who speak the Velotongue but do not truly appreciate the silent core of humility which lies at the heart of every Velominatus. They will go out on the roads and sully the image by being bastards. They will read the book and buy bicycles. The bike shops will start pandering. Pander pander pander. The hipsters will start doing it ironically. Wearing the kit. Actually, like, being, like, really into their road bikes, like, its actually, like, so much more like honest and real than, like, like fixies.

There will be interviews on Ellen DeGeneres. Happy smiling guys in V-Kit saying 'Hey, it's great fun for all the family, anyone can do it, woo!'. DeGeneres will make a joke about guns or pistons. Cue screams of mirth in the studio. She will ride a road bike four feet across the room. Cue screams of mirth.

There will be V-cupcakes and V-Plates, V-Cards, V-Apps. V-competitions, V-offers, V-documentaries, V-toys.

But somewhere out there, the true V men will survive.

In the rain. Pedalling. In the sun. Grimacing.

Into the night. Over the horizon.

Into forever.

:..(
Chris says:

Oct 8 2012 at 4:11 pm

@Gianni Incredibly well played sir.

"Sorry I know that you disapprove of swearing so I'll sort that, you are a boring f**cunt"
ramenvelo says:

Oct 8 2012 at 5:55 pm

I will, without reservation, pay V dollars for this book.
Dan_R says:

Oct 8 2012 at 5:59 pm

+1

To think that we are in some small way all dropped by these literary Velominati as they travel the talk show circuits...you thought I was going to say part of it. Didn't ya!?
Darce Vader says:

Oct 9 2012 at 12:38 am

Looking forward to my purchase of this tome of collected wisdom. Just make sure I am in line in front of Petrometro!
Darce Vader says:

Oct 9 2012 at 1:02 am

@jeff in Petrometro. Name change to NTAC Dallas? Cheers mate!!
Darce Vader says:

Oct 9 2012 at 1:12 am

As to Jeff in Petrometro's comment on name change. How would I go about that as I am now the Sales Manager of a Cycle shop in Dubai. I would like my name to reflect that. Thanks for any help you can give this lowly pack rider.