Categories: General

V-Announcements: The Way of the Cycling Disciple

WE’VE BEEN BUYSSE PREPARING A BOOK

We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement:

The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in louder slurs. This can mean only one thing: Velominati is publishing a book.

It is our great pleasure to announce that Velominati has teamed up with Sceptre (subsidiary of Hodder & Stoughton Publishers in the UK) to publish a book framed within the context of The Rules. The book will contain a listing of all the Rules as they currently exist, supplemented with essays written in the spirit of La Vie Velominatus. The book’s subtitle has not yet been finalized but it is provisionally entitled, “The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple”.

Drummond Moir, who has the distinguished challenge of being named our editor (I hope he knows how to herd cats), had the following to say about the book:

I’m so looking forward to this. Imagine a two-wheeled Fight Club, or a cycling version of Neil Strauss’s cult bestseller The Game, and you’re halfway there.

I’ve seen Fight Club, but have no idea what The Game is. For simplicity’s sake, I’ll assume its Awesome. We plan to finish the manuscript by the New Year, and the book will be published in June, 2013. More information may be found on BookTrade.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your suport, and for making Velominati a place worth visiting. VLVV.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

the Engine says:

Oct 9 2012 at 1:39 am

@Winelli

We can see what will happen.

There will be people out there who speak the Velotongue but do not truly appreciate the silent core of humility which lies at the heart of every Velominatus. They will go out on the roads and sully the image by being bastards. They will read the book and buy bicycles. The bike shops will start pandering. Pander pander pander. The hipsters will start doing it ironically. Wearing the kit. Actually, like, being, like, really into their road bikes, like, its actually, like, so much more like honest and real than, like, like fixies.

There will be interviews on Ellen DeGeneres. Happy smiling guys in V-Kit saying 'Hey, it's great fun for all the family, anyone can do it, woo!'. DeGeneres will make a joke about guns or pistons. Cue screams of mirth in the studio. She will ride a road bike four feet across the room. Cue screams of mirth.

There will be V-cupcakes and V-Plates, V-Cards, V-Apps. V-competitions, V-offers, V-documentaries, V-toys.

But somewhere out there, the true V men will survive.

In the rain. Pedalling. In the sun. Grimacing.

Into the night. Over the horizon.

Into forever.

:..(

Fuck me that's good +1 even with the forbidden emoticon
Oli says:

Oct 9 2012 at 3:57 am

@TBONE Haha, EWWW!!? That is seriously gross, and I'm worried about how one even knows such a thing exists.
Oli says:

Oct 9 2012 at 4:04 am

@Gianni I am going to hunt out and watch In The Loop on the strength of that audition.
actor1 says:

Oct 9 2012 at 8:22 am

when you go on the book tour, make sure you use "siri" to ask where to get some food & drink, & use a scottish accent. a clip for apple scotland:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGxKhUuZ0Rc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
actor1 says:

Oct 9 2012 at 8:26 am

@actor1 and DEFINITELY n.s.f.w. if you turn the volume up.
Winelli says:

Oct 9 2012 at 3:04 pm

@the Engine Apologies, I don't know what came over me there with the little face!
Flying Crowbar says:

Oct 10 2012 at 12:14 pm

@actor1

Hilarious! My oldest son's soccer coach sounds about like that, without the F-bombs.
Deakus says:

Oct 18 2012 at 4:56 am

@ Frank...I see the PR wagon is in full motion now. I took a chance and bought the first edition of Cyclist Magazine. Well "what the hell" if the sale price of 1st editions of Rouleur are anything to go by this could make me some money in the future. I have also ordered a couple of issues or Rouleur which I will compare to see how the new magazine stacks up..I mean Cyclist is half the price almost so it may swing my final decision on subscriptions...

However more to the point, what do I find on page 42...but our very own Frank waxing lyrical about the The Rules!

We should expect an influx of members...right...about...now!