Guest Article: An Open Letter

Dear readers, let us take a break from the almighty Tour for a few minutes. I am the least qualified Velominatus to introduce an open letter concerning Strava as I’m too shame-based to post my rides to Strava. I have a Garmin on the bike for no particular reason, ok, maybe to occasionally see how fast I’m descending or to know the grade of the climb I’m presently suffering on. At some point it will ask me what should it do with all these weak-ass rides taking up Garmin memory. Oye.

@Artie has authored this open letter (our first?) and like the Rules themselves, @Artie is just trying to improve our cycling experience in this digital world. Thanks @Artie

VLVV, Gianni

Dear Keepers of the Cog and Curators of the Rules,

The Tour de France this year has had a few memorable moments. Cavendish moving behind only Merkx in Stage victories, Froome’s new descending style, and of course the bike-less sprint up Ventoux come to mind. But there has also been a subtler addition to my viewing this year. More and more cyclists in the peloton have been sharing their ride data on Strava. For example, scrolling down my Strava feed after a late afternoon ride, I now notice Greg Henderson’s data, and see that yesterday he was in fact descending like a madman, just as Rule #85 and Rule #93 implore him to do. This supplement to my Tour Digest bridges to a theme my friends and I have often discussed and I thought it time to share our thoughts.

Our over-connected world has reached a point, where the dubitability of any cycling accomplishment has become (almost) strictly correlated with that said accomplishment appearing on Strava. Did you climb Sa Calobra during an early spring training camp? Did you reach the summit of Galibier before your best friend? Did your race up Alpe d’Huez with such a murderous intent that locals began to talk about the ghost of Pantani that appeared one late August afternoon? Perhaps… but without a Strava log to prove it, who knows! But, it is not the virtues or vices of using Strava that I wish to comment on; many people use it and some don’t. Instead it is a much more mundane aspect of the app that has been the subject to our diliberations, i.e. the naming of our tours.

The default name Strava gives each activity are more than boring; “Morning Ride,” “Afternoon Ride,” or “Evening Ride.” “Morning Ride” sounds like a Monday morning commute to work. “Afternoon ride” is what I do with my girlfriend, when she wants to go on a picnic in the park across town. “Evening ride” is an excursion with my Holland Bike to the bar down the street and to the left. The blandness of these names do absolutely no justice to a properly ridden tour. If you keep your bike perfectly matched, kit in shape, and tan lines razor sharp, is putting at least a little creativity into your digital cycling life too much to ask?

I say that a proper tour deserves a proper name, and a proper name should – like all things – be casually deliberate. A quick comment about the ride would be a basic but satisfactory name, e.g. “Hard push up to Chamonix”. If you are racing, the name of the event would be fine; “Paris-Roubaix” is far superior to the default.  A more sophisticated name would be that of the song you started to whistle while pushing through the most difficult bits of a climb. Such a title has a lasting effect. Each time those you rode with heard the song, they would be reminded of the pressure their legs felt as you climbed, and doubt would be further seeded into the moral.

I wish to avoid a long digression into the art of naming, although the horizon is large and well worth exploring. But, I do wish to assert that a cyclist who has gone digital should maintain his digital cycling life as he does his real life. Calling an afternoon conquering cobbles on your way back to Liege “Afternoon Ride” is a digital dirty chain; it is unacceptable, but luckily easy to fix.

Yours Kindly,

Arturo

Hamburg, Germany

Artie

View Comments

  • @Barracuda

    @Bespoke

    I imagine this is “common knowledge” here but, if you’re looking for a way to let family know where you’re at on a ride, in particular solo rides, Road ID has an app that allows this for those, even without the app (via their computer). You can even set a warning if you’re too stationary for any one time.

    https://www.roadid.com/ecrumbs

    Thanks, was not aware of this.

    I have a road ID bracelet, but wondering whether anyone would actually bother to read it if I was face down in a gutter off the side of a road unseen.

    Cheers

    Plus, you can have your post ride coffee waiting and your tea in perfect cue.

  • @Ron

    @Ccos

    Some goober’s gonna combine Strava with Pokemon Go and the end days will come. (Stravamon Go?)

    I managed to wholly avoid ever reading out or having a discussion about Pokemon Go & Uber. It ain’t easy, but the world is bewildering enough; if I can keep out the next trend, my brain is slightly quieter. And, I need that.

    Uber works very well. I dig it. That and the Divvy bikes in Chicago. These things are a riot and a blast to get around when in town.

     

  • One of the guys from my club runs a Tuesday evening session where he leads a ride around as many horrible and steep hills in the local area as possible. Last time he did this he called his Strava entry 'Tuesday night hurty lolz' which made me laugh.

    Another thing on Strava that I'm a sucker for is the estimated average power - when I'm training I like this number to be as high as possible.

  • @Dean C

    @Randy C

    @Dean C

    What is this “Strava” thing you all keep referring to? Sounds (from what I am reading) a lot like the pet rocks from the 80s or Sea Monkeys of the 70s….they didn’t do anything but took a lot of time……

    Best of luck with it though

    But Strava is free unlike the pet rocks and Sea Monkeys. Sea Monkeys indeed were equally fascinating however. Cheers

    Never had a pet rock, but did send in my hard earned cash for my Sea Monkeys though….was horribly disappointed when they 1. looked NOTHING like the picture and 2. did NO tricks or wear a crown like the advertisement.

    take care guys- ride safe

    Please leave my family out of this.

  • This conversation's getting boring.  Let's light it up:

    Missed it by thaaaaaaaaaat much...

    How about the slogan?  Strava or it didn't happen?  Unfortunately, these did happen:

    You're welcome everyone.

  • <canofworms> I've just discovered Veloviewer, don't know how it's eluded me until today. It's Strava on steroids </canofworms>

  • @litvi

    + 1 for the pint glass (including the good-looking malted recovery beverage inside it).

    But those knee-high socks are a travesty.... Your tan lines must look even stranger than normal.

  • @GordoGreatBelly

    @litvi

    + 1 for the pint glass (including the good-looking malted recovery beverage inside it).

    But those knee-high socks are a travesty…. Your tan lines must look even stranger than normal.

    Oh!  Whoah... hey... no no nonono... hold up there, champ.  Those are NOT mine.

    I keep it 100% goldilocks.  (And straight up white, no logos or stripes, for what it's worth.)  Neither one of those shots is of me.  But now I can see the room for misunderstanding - I assumed and didn't clearly state.  So whatever, no harm no foul.

    But here's what really bothers me: what do you mean by "even stranger than normal?"  Are you implying there's something abnormal about Rule #7 compliance?

  • @litvi

    My apologies... That's what happens when you assume (you make an ass out of u and me ).

    If the second image was one previously posted on this site, I wonder if the transgressor will put their hand up or just keep quiet (I know which I'd do).

    And as for rule 7 - I don't think there's anything abnormal about my tan lines.  Mrs GreatBelly on the other hand....

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