Categories: Guest Article

Guest Article: Bikes Smell Awesome Too.

Fixing a puncture for a neighbour.

@snoov moves the topic away from Lance, doping, EPMS, and Berty’s Spanish adventures. Our brains are so crammed with nonsense our childhood memories get jammed deep down into the center.  A memory waits to be released and sometimes it’s a remembered smell that floats it up to the surface.

VLVV, Gianni

My front tyre has been losing more air than the rear for a couple of months now. I’d just figured it was the valve as I had clumsily bent the little pin that’s inside while removing the pump before we hit the road. I bent it back and it seemed to be okay. It has always lasted our rides but this evening I decided to strip the tube off and test it in a basin of water. To my surprise there was no air escaping from the valve but there was a tiny hole in the tube so I patched it up and put it back on the bike. It occurs to me now that the low pressure of a tube out of the tyre is nothing compared to my normal 120psi and so if the valve was leaking, this test probably wouldn’t show it. Then I decided to test all the tubes I have lying around and repair any holes so that they’re all ready to go. To be fair I’ve only had two punctures since taking to the roads and one was a classic pinch puncture bumping up the kerb-cut right outside my flat as I arrived home from a ride.

I didn’t find any holes, but when I let the air out of the first tube right in front of my face I took a deep breath of the expelled air. The smell was delicious. It brought back memories of the many punctures I’ve fixed in my time on bikes. It brought back the lesson I learned when my Dad dropped me off at the only skatepark in Scotland and at the time when it was one of the best in Europe. I had an American BMX that I’d begged my parents to order over for my birthday and Christmas which I’d also committed my life savings towards, an SE Racing Quadangle. I had arrived with a puncture which I planned on making good but after pumping it up for the second time and rolling forward … pssss. I was too keen to ride and one of the locals asked if I’d checked the tyre for glass. I hadn’t and found a large piece straight away, once the third puncture was fixed my Dad arrived and it was time to go home, day wasted.

The smell also took me back to when I was still at Primary School (maybe 8 or so) and had gotten my first puncture. I went into the house and told my Mum. She said we’d have to go down to Woolworth’s and get a Puncture Repair Outfit! Now that was exciting, I remember thinking how great it was going to be and tried to imagine what it would look like, what it would consist of and even what colour it would be. The disappointment of not being able to ride my bike had completely disappeared, I was getting a Puncture Repair OUTFIT!!! Not only was I going to be able to fix punctures, I was going to look fantastic while doing it. I hadn’t even begun to imagine what other activities would now be open to me. So, we got in the car. We drove to the shops down near the beach and esplanade. Parked up and walked towards “Woolies”. I can’t help wondering if my Mum had noticed my level of excitement, and maybe questioned that somehow, my expectations were somehow out of wack. I’m pretty sure she noticed the tears though, when she picked up the box and showed it to me. It was about 15 centimetres long (6″) and I just knew that there was no way going to be an overall in there.

snoov

Got a bike to get fit in 2009 (Tricross). Entered 2011 Etape Caledonia to motivate myself after not really riding the bike. Trained from February and completed 130km in 4.5 hours on an Allez I was given by a guy who showed me the rules. Now I'm on the road to rule compliance and watch every RR I can find although I've ALWAYS been fascinated by the Tour. Bike handling skills from BMX racing and halfpipe action which also claimed my two front teeth.

View Comments

  • @scaler911

    My only real beef with Park glueless patches is the lack of glue. At the end of the road season a couple of my like minded buddies and I would gather up all our punctured tubes, get out the TipTop Touring Patch kit, throw "Hot Dog The Movie" in the VCR (a ode to the pending ski season) and huff glue under the guise of saving money and the environment.

    Good times.

    now we dont even bother with th formality of the movie...

  • I hope you didn't wear the bell bottoms to the skatepark.  Obvious feax pas.

     

  • My bike shop only smells like money being vacuumed from my wallet. Sort of a burning smell, really...

  • Great piece and the photos are priceless.  That John Bull repair outfit looks Ace as well.  The ones I used as a kid in the US never came with a cigar, and the only nail was the one I was pulling out of my tyre.

  • Nice one @snoov. If that's you on the left, then you are my childhood doppelgänger! Me and my friend had our own little 'bike shop' set up in our vestibule, and would fix punctures for our mates and do general tweaking, usually making our Dragsters into early mountain bikes by removing as many parts as we could, then going and jumping the crap out of them in the bush behind my house. This is the full-pimped version of the Dragster...

    Oh dear, looks like I was rocking an EPMS back then too!

  • @mxlmax

    I go to the local bike shop somewhat weekly to eat lunch at the work counter "” and study whatever operation is underway.

    Does the owner charge a Cover Fee? I ink Brooke at SpeedyReedy is about to start when I walk in, but she knows that $5 doesn't come close tot he reduction in productivity when I'm in the shop, all noisy and wandering behind "Employee Only" lines like I work there or something.

    @snoov

    awesome. I love the smell of bikes. The old patch kits I used were probably the ones @sclaer911 mentioned; the smelled like cement glue. FAVORTIE. SMELL. EVER.

    Now my shop smells like grease, Simple Green, TriFlo, DuMond Tech, and talcum (baby) powder. (For the tubes, not my ass.) if I'm lucky enough to have recently purchased some tires, it will smell like rubber, too.

    I love the smell when I walk down there.

  • Fantastic post. I cut into a bell pepper recently while prepping dinner and smelled California's central coast where I logged thousands of hours of training rides in my youth. The memories of cycling  innocence and discovery are gold  given the current bullshit.

  • @brett

    Nice one @snoov. If that's you on the left, then you are my childhood doppelgänger! Me and my friend had our own little 'bike shop' set up in our vestibule, and would fix punctures for our mates and do general tweaking, usually making our Dragsters into early mountain bikes by removing as many parts as we could, then going and jumping the crap out of them in the bush behind my house. This is the full-pimped version of the Dragster...

    Oh dear, looks like I was rocking an EPMS back then too!

    I recognize you by the wedgie you're sporting.

    Is that a suicide lever on the top tube? Top marks, why the fuck haven't we done an Anatomy of a Photo on that one?

  • Other smells: cow shit takes me right home to my old training rides. The smell of ozone has me at the top of "killer hill" back home in North Oaks in an instant...WD-40 has me drilling wholes in a custom metal cleat adapter I made for my old Duegi shoes to take SPDs like Motorola were riding. Man, I love that shit.

  • @brett love the white sidewalls and air horn very pimp but whats with the full on touring pannier rack on the front. Those pedals were fucking awful, they always felt like the were slightly twisted and were constantly falling apart and spewing ball bearings everywhere.

    Awesome shirt.

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snoov

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