Guest Article: Breaking the Rules- A Note on Rule #50

Urs FreulerUrs Freuler
Urs Freuler

I have no dog in this fight but @Henrik does. I can’t swim in the serious ‘stache growing gene pool. And yes, it’s already Vajanuary, we left Mo’vember with nary a nod, why, because it’s stupid. Rule #50 could have included having the last name Freuler and wearing the prison stripped Atala kit as the second exception for facial hair, for he was a stud. I could be accused of putting too many photos of him on this site already and to that, I would plead happily guilty.

VLVV, Gianni

Personally I consider myself an enforcer of The Rules constantly (though admittedly with at least an effort of subtlety) correcting friends and family over issues such as how to wear their shades, sock length, or the the dreaded long-tights-short-sleeves-combination. However, complete compliance with The Rules is hard. I have on several occasions been caught with a premature aero tuck (I defend myself with the need to practice) and back in the day I have also been seen rolling around in unforgivably hi-viz jackets and jerseys.

More recently there is only one Rule that I regularly and willingly break: Rule #50. The no facial hair rule. This Rule states that the only facial hair allowed is a goatee and then only if your name starts with Marco and ends with Pantani. I have neither goatee nor the appropriate name and thus my moustachoid appearance is in clear violation.

But this transgression is not just mindless ignorance, I do have feelings about this Rule. Currently””and admittedly for quite some time””facial hair is a rarity in the pro peloton. There are of course the comedy moustache of Dave Zabriskie (which wasn’t particularly nice looking), Wiggo’s now-shaven sideburns, and the slight and youthful pencil-moustache of Lochlan Morton. Otherwise, it is a rarity (though out of competition ‘staches can be spotted regularly, see the “Movember” article on Cycling Tips). In the history of cycling, and especially in the early days, things were quite different. Maurice Garin had moustache of course, and so did many of his contemporaries. As was pointed out on Velominati, Urs Freuler wore a cyclo-stash proper thoughout his career. One could go on here but I choose not to and instead refer the reader to said article. Although there is a plentitude of historical prejudication to draw from that might instill lenience on the application of this Rule, that is not my point.

I do my best to ride all year around, in direct conflict with the place which I call home. I am a Swede currently living on the windy, and fertile plains of the south. It doesn’t get quite as cold down here as further north, but the weather is hell by any measure you choose. Every winter has snow, albeit to varying degree. Sometimes it lays around for months on end, other winters it will quickly rain away. However, since the temperature often hovers around freezing one usually will often go on rides where part of the route is snowy, part is slushy, and part is just plain wet. The relative lack of forests and flat landscape also does little to stop the winds. The summers are plenty windy but fall and winter is much worse, especially with the frequent storms. The intermediate position of southern Sweden also promises much darkness, there will hardly never be the kind of snow cover that provide some reflective light, but the days are still short, which means a lot of riding in the dark. In the last couple of weeks I have ridden in complete darkness (this is a component in almost every ride), 15 cm of snow, 25m/s winds, 1°C temperatures and relentless rain, and so on. It is impossible to stay warm and dry and one will often come home after a few hours with no sensation in hands and feet. In other words: Rules #5 and #9 comes to mind.

So the point is, one should consider The Rules not as completely set in stone, the different principles can influence one another, and compliance with some Rules can earn you the right to break others. The many hours spent freezing my nuts off, sliding across ice and slush, on dark and windy afternoons have earned me the right to sport a moustache.

Henrik

Born in the north of Sweden. Grew up on skis and skateboards. Now its all cycling. Very particular about style.

View Comments

  • @Sundqvist

    As a fellow Swede I can attest to facial hair sometimes helping against blistering cold, and yes, small icicles will form after a while...

    Spot-on. I too live on the flat lands of southern Sweden now, not far from Henrik it seems. I once went out running with a colleague in -10 degrees and his copious amounts of ear hair came back looking like icebergs - for a moment I couldn't quite work out what it was.

    @JACD214

    I'll take the necessary hits for the violation. I grew my Van Dyke (goatee with a 'stache) 20 years ago. I started cycling 16 months ago.

    Yes, I also grew this finely cultivated look 20 years ago -it is me- but only discovered my destiny to follow The Rules mid last year in my first full year of 'proper' cycling.

  • @xyxax

    Nah. I'm more beret than top hat. (Careful, though: you may be dating yourself here"”I was awfully tempted to say "who??").

  • @meursault

    As long as we don't go down the road, currently fashionable in US baseball, the redneck full beard. (Other US sports are available, but I don't watch any of them)

    The many hours spent freezing my nuts off, sliding across ice and slush, on dark and windy afternoons have earned me the right to sport a moustache.

    At various times, we all attempt to justify our rule violations, you end up realising you were wrong.

    Well said.  Yesterday I spent at least an hour (and finally gave up) crafting a well-honed comment trying to justify this:

    Some of the rationalizations included:

    1. 'cross season is kind of a gray area.
    2. It's not ironic.  And those inordinately thick frames are holding ridiculously myopic corrective lenses.
    3. That's not a beard, it's a home-grown balaclava.

    On New Year's Day we had our first team ride in several months.  My hirsute visage was cause for much scorn and many reminders of the 5oth tenet.

    That episode, and @meursault's comment, compelled me to this conclusion:

    Inevitably, rules will be broken.  We are fallible and prone to bouts of weakness.  However, no amount of time in the saddle, or degree of suffering, justifies breaking the rules.

  • @Optimiste

    That was a full and thoughtful confession, admirable and worthy of grace. And the beard of which you were either brave or foolhardy enough to post a photo doesn't even look as disgusting as it might. If you weren't a cyclist, it might be thought acceptable.

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