Guest Article: Rule #9 Festivus
One of the finest things about Velominati is it attracts the crazy bastards. Cyclists are slightly unhinged anyway but there are more than a few out there who have no fear. Crazy is not constrained by nationality. Crazy knows no borders. Sure the Randonneurs would do this just to make sure they were happy with their choice of headlamp strap but @bas is not one of those.
Rapha and Strava sponsor something called the Festive 500. Ride your 500 km between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve for bragging rights and a stinkin’ badge. If you live up North, this is a noteworthy thing to do. Most don’t try to do it all at once, that would be crazy.
VLVV, Gianni
On December 24th, me and three riding friends embarked on a trip from Paris to our hometown of Haarlem in the Netherlands. The idea was to see if we could ride all of the Festive 500 in one ride and ‘get it over with’. We picked a starting location that was approximately 500 kilometers from home and pretty much rode with it from there.
A friend and documentary maker decided that he wanted to see if he could capture us killing ourselves in front of his camera and shot the whole thing.
[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/83397896[/vimeo]
Harsh but fair.
Certainly, those boys have HUGE stones for attempting such a ride. Even larger stones because they picked a date and went with it regardless of weather… Assuming that they do have weather forecasting across the pond. I couldn’t imagine the pile of Mexican Food that I could eat after such a ride followed by drowning in a keg of beer followed by a really good nap. Rules be damned – this was no ordinary ride!
I need more friends like this!
Now, to finish up the workday so I can watch this.
Bals-o-steel dudes
Chapeau!!!
@El Mateo
Not to belabor the point, but I guess I will. It’s precisely this sentiment that concerns me. We, as a community, have accepted and adopted as our own the Rules we ride by. They are immutable, handed down from on high, recorded by the Keepers in much the way Moses must have chipped away at his tablets. If we are willing to forgo the Rules simply because a ride was extraordinary – whether due to the weather, the distance, the elevation, the soreness in our legs, or any other distraction – then we are poor disciples indeed.
If anything, we should look to the rules to sustain us and to keep us pedaling in our times of need. When weakness sets in and the dark thoughts creep in – “go ahead and get dropped, it’s too hard” we can reflect on Rule #V. When the road turns up and the burn makes turning around seem the better choice, Rule #10 lifts us up. When the wind and rain lash us, Rule #9 is there to keep us warm and dry. Reflect on the Rules, live and ride in their wisdom, and be a better disciple.
@Optimiste
Tell us before you do it and we’ll make a Cogal of it! I can hear the recovery ales calling to me already.
@V-olcano
++1
@V-olcano
The gears in my mind are already turning. At lunchtime I was looking at possible routes.
Am I the only one who finds that videos on Vimeo constantly hang up and take forfuckingever to load?
I’m on a new Macbook and using Chrome. Anything I ever try to watch on there is a huge pain in the arse. Youtube loads up instantly.
I have ridden 530k in 24 hours twice. But in good weather (with a headwind on one occasion) and in a bunch of 15 riders.
http://www.velominati.com/general/guest-article-murray-to-moyne-part-ii/
To my mind, those rides don’t come close to how hard these guys must have done it. The small bunch, the rain and cold and also the huge amount of riding in the dark, plus the headfuck of having to navigate through cities, etc. Didn’t look like they spent too much time on each other’s wheels either.
Chapeau Bas!
@Gianni
Can a MinuteMan get shagged out?
@Ron
I’m on macbook and chrome and vimeo loads great, much better than youtube. Who knows?
@Marcus
You guys drank a lot more beer than those crazy dutch. Either ride seems nuts, theirs slightly more so. Moyston!
@Gianni
I would have needed to drink a lot more than that to start a ride in Europe in Winter. At night. In the rain.
Nothing moist in Moyston right now.
@V-olcano
These guys obviously weren’t doing a sanctioned event. However, if you do an ACP or RUSA sanctioned brevet (which are anywhere from 200-1500k) regulations require the use of reflective clothing and (gasp!) a reflective vest, and forbid the use of support vehicles except at widely spaced checkpoints. Around here we follow the fucking rules, and that includes rules that are enforced by our governing bodies.
Furthermore, here in the States we often ride in rural areas where one is frequently many hours’ ride from the nearest resupply point, and where it is not unusual for the temperature to swing by 40F, necessitating more gear and fluids than can be carried in jersey pockets without looking like a lycra-clad camel, which is unaesthetic in the extreme.
Thus, my suggestion of an amendment permitting a variance under certain circumstances where a lack of idiocy and a surfeit of V necessitates the breaking of existing rules.
@antihero
How about a rule that forbids fucking weirdo, beardy, sandalled events that require socialising with the sort of losers that’ll eventually end up driving recumbents?
@antihero it’s called the Masturbation Principle. Look it up in the Lexicon and may I suggest you drop the faux attitude on following rules. Makes you sound like a wanker, which I am sure you are not.
@Chris
You good sir win the prize for epic generalization of the day!
@Beers
Yeah, I passed a recumbent this morning. Sandals, ponytail, YJA, flag and three tail lights, but she didn’t have a beard.
@antihero
First, yes, follow the rules of your sanctioning body, though if they differ from the Rules then someone has stopped paying proper attention.
Second, you made my point for me – Strava is not a governing body. There was a vehicle involved that could ostensibly have been used for support. Even had the driver/filmmaker refused, these chaps were frequently in urbane enough environments to acquire water/food/other necessaries. These men were not here in the States, nor in rural enough areas to necessitate “more gear and fluids than can be carried in jersey pockets without looking like a lycra-clad camel.”
Lastly, @Marcus has pointed already to the Masturbation Principle.
@Ron
@Ron
RE: finishing up work so you can watch it …. Please see Rule V
Homer’s Illiad is but a trip to the corner store, pale and pitiful next to this epic tale. Well done gentlemen.
Chapeau doffed.
@V-olcano
You are so overworked by the rules that I should probably remind you to stop masturbating immediately and actually start following them since you stated you’re such a good disciple.
Mind you if you followed the rules in the first place you wouldn’t need no fucking bullshit excuse called masturbation principle. Yes you read right cause that’s what it is. It’s an excuse to do what you want to do and skip the other shit you like a bit less or don’t like at all. No excuses mate, face the reality and unfortunately for you the reality bites like bad blow jobs. You wear a velominati kit and have a decal on your bike rule V and get on with the rest of them too. Or wear and do whatever you want and then you need no excuses. The moment you start making excuses is the moment all the rules can go to hell.
As far as the article goes you are missing the point. It was not 500 km looking fantastic but 500 km in one go no matter the weather and the situation required them to carry their own gear even though the vehicle was there. Tough luck.
@Marcus
Nothing personal Marcus so carry on following your own principles just like everybody else does. Your principle is funny and that’s about it. As far as the rules go it’s just another name for an excuse.
@bas and your mates – very strong work.
@TommyTubolare
Firstly, I never made the first comment about the quality of my discipleship. I know I have a long road ahead of me and sometimes err, but I’m no apologist. I spoke of the inclusive “we,” as the group itself strives to be in better compliance.
Second, what excuses have I made for breaking rules myself? I did no bragging about my own exploits, but simply pointed out the excuses of those on the ride so extolled by others. I’m making no excuses for myself and disallowing them from others. So what I don’t understand is why I’m being called out for breaches when all I’ve done here is called someone out on breaches myself. Sort of like kicking the dog for pissing outside….
Third, I have no decal on my bike. Those riding with me can ask my name if they’d like it, and the referees can remember my number if they need to.
Lastly, my greatest confusion: do you really believe that it’s simply okay to disregard the Rules any time you wish, because the “situation” called for it? If so, then it’s absolutely the Masturbation Principle at work, though you seem to have a problem with it. I don’t care if these blokes want to go on a long ride – more power to them. But if they do, and they want to brag on it in this community, they’d better at least pretend they give a shit about the Rules. If they so badly need their racks and camelbaks, fine. Just don’t come to me bragging about how you told the Rules to piss off.
In this case, I see no need greater than simple convenience for the breaches committed. Convenience is, of course, no excuse.
Just WOW!!! Chapeau to you gentlemen.
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