Guest Article: The Art of Noodling
Like almost anything in Japan, the creation of noodles is a deeply ritualized art. Recipes are closely guarded secrets, and cooks apprentice for many years in the creation of a restaurant’s specific type of noodle.
Not surprisingly, this type of ritualization can be appreciated by the Velominati, and Cyclops (who happens to be a bit of a gourmand with a particular interest in Southeast Asian foods) has drawn the parallel here and classified the progression through La Vie Velominatus into different types of “noodling”. A unique approach to say the least, but not without merit. Also note that I skipped lunch and the Article Photo may be skewing my impression of the approach.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
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Noodling falls into three distinct categories. The most common noodling – Level 1 Noodling – is usually done unawares by the common cyclist but true art is achieved when one does something exceedingly well without thinking about it. It just naturally flows from the inner being. It is when he or she is out solo and is just turning the pedals with no pressure on them. They might be commuting to work in no hurry or going to the park and Sturmey-Archer 3-Speeds and Birkenstocks are usually involved. A quick Googling of cycling in Amsterdam confirms that the Dutch excel at this level of Noodling. Beautiful young women with Dutch accents, flowing skirts, and flowing hair gliding down cobbled lanes with windmills in the background can’t be considered anything but art.
Level 2 Noodling is an entirely different animal. This level is usually done by the serious/competitive cyclist and is usually performed in one of two ways. The first being the solo recovery Noodle. At first glance it seems as though this version of Level 2 Noodling wouldn’t qualify as art. I mean any meathead can plop some cash down for a discounted Discovery Channel jersey and plod along at 24 kph. But when we consider that the average competitive cyclist has an extremely hard time not going all out all the time we see that there is more than meets the eye going on here. What looks like a Lance Armstrong wannabe (Cadel Evans for those on the bottom of the planet) to the outside observer is actually a practice in refinement. The artist is honing his skills by relaxing the shoulders, all the muscles in the face go into Ullrich mode. There is a smoothing out of the pedal stroke. Little details that are ignored when one is in the red zone or pedaling squares come into focus and are given the care and nurture given to the grapes in a French vineyard.
The other version of Level 2 Noodling is the one I like best – because at this late stage of the game I doubt I’ll ever reach Level 3 Noodling. This version is also known as the early season training ride. While one might see the aforementioned meathead out on the roads of summer you’ll never see him under the overcast skies and single digit temps of late winter. While Meathead has been busily stuffing Cheese Whiz in his face at the neighborhood Super Bowl party we’ve been sitting on the trainer watching race videos and chomping at the bit waiting to get out on the road. I actually like riding in early season cold weather kit more than the mere bibs and short sleeve jerseys of the heat of summer. A serious artist has all the tools of the trade at his/her disposal. Neoprene booties, windproof bib tights, long sleeve jersey and matching wind vest, various base layers and different weights of gloves. These are the signs of someone that loves what they do. We may not get paid to do what we do but there is a certain level of professionalism to the matching kits, the immaculate bikes, and desire to be true to the art that Meathead will never understand. While going at this solo is commendable there is something truly sublime about a group of friends in a double paceline easily cruising in the stillness of (very) early spring. The only sounds being that of the casual chatting and well maintained drivetrains. No testosterone flowing. No attacks by the Cat 2. No urgency in the pedal strokes. This is Level 2 Noodling at its finest.
Level 3 Noodling. This level is reserved for professionals and those at the highest levels of racing. It is when someone such as George Hincapie or Philippe Gilbert is at the front driving the pace all the while oblivious to the damage he is doing to those behind. They are in an effortless zone that is free of suffering. A walk in the park. Yet those behind are struggling to hold their wheel. I would think that the satisfaction that comes from this level of Noodling could almost rival that of crossing the finish line in victory. As mentioned above – most of us will never reach this level but sometimes the gods smile and peel back the veil and we get glimpses of it. Like when the casual acquaintance that fancies himself fit dusts off the old 10 speed to join you on a “ride”. Or when you see a rider struggling up the climb a half kilometer up the road and you smile to yourself as you reel him in in the big ring.
Meh! I’m only interested in Level V noodling…
Ah, it took me three read but I like what you did there Steampunk!
@Steampunk
Nicely played.
@Steampunk
“Or when you see a rider struggling up the climb a half kilometer up the road and you smile to yourself as you reel him in in the big ring.” Oh, the satisfaction, especially when its a Meathead, a fatty, or a hipster. Tell me you don’t do what I do – spin easy for just a bit, so as to be sure you are at max speed when you blow by them. I say I’m not a racer, but only when there is not someone in front of me, or when there isn’t a clock counting on my bars. Then I’m like fucking Spartacus.
Ooooh. I thought you meant noodling. My bad.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Would love to see hipsters get into catfish noodling. It’s a truly underappreciated art.
I initially went to the same place as Steampunk with “noodling”. And I like the idea of Level “V” noodling. Think levels 3 and 4 should be skipped in favor of level V.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
bloody norah, what a wierd YTube clip – I’m fascinated to know how you got that one on your radar!
whew…cyclops, I thought you went off the deep end of this one, as here in the ‘ozark mountians’ noodling is not riding in level I/IIa/IIb/III. Noodling in these here parts are rather different
@Dr C
It’s weird shit that the Southerners in our country do. Can’t be bothered to get a fishing pole, just hop in the water moccasin infested water and jam your hand in a big catfish mouth. Great fun after Sunday Church.
@cyclops: I hear ya brother. Nicely done!
@Jeff in PetroMetro
How cool?!
At first I thought to myself, “Why don’t people noodle for fish in Australia?”. Then I thought about Australian fish (and crocs that also live in rivers) and realised that one’s first foray into a bit of harmless noodling in Australia would quickly become armless noodling.
Those girls going for the fish kind of excited me. Given their preparedness to do strange shit in a murky river, I reckon they would be up for anything elsewhere!
Tickle this
just don’t expect to get your arm back
I prefer Knoodling to Noodling, but I do enjoy when you are just starting up a rise, and a few take off in front of you, but then you do a cuddles and gradually pull them back over the climb and pass them.
Oh and @thejensie is the master yoda of Lvl 3 Noodling.
@Dr C
I dig chicks who know how to fish.
@Cyclops
I need a bumper sticker that says, “I’m a chronic Level 2 Noodler.”
@minion
If you turn them over and rub their bellies, they fall asleep.
@Nate
Might be a bit of a bitch to noodle whilst keeping the fedora above water.
Actually, it’s probably a bitch to do anything looking like that.
@pakrat
Perhaps catfish are attracted to tight-fitting denim and irony. But I worry that this specimen, like most, lacks the muscle definition to wrestle a 60-pounder.
Just for a change here’s a picture of a bike. A nice bike. A bike I’d happily throttle a hipster for.
Mouse, I blame you.
@minion
I’m honoured. I’m really not sure why, but I am just the same.
I’m equally clueless about Steamy’s noodling reference. I’m imagining something scurrilous, but that’s just how my brain works.
@minion
Perhaps it’s in honour of a shared disdain for hipsters.
The only draw in your argument is that you wouldn’t find a hipster within cooee of that bike.
1. It’s too black
2. It has the proper amount of seatpost showing
3. It doesn’t have a fucking Concor saddle on it.
Whilst throttling hipsters is a worthy cause we should all subscribe to, unfortunately I see little potential in attracting one with that bit of gear.
@mouse
To true. Mods, on the other hand…Wiggo
Is the “Catfish”, I presume from redneck USA backwaters, actually a fish? Is it not actually a slug?
Looks like it ought to be extinct by now – anything so stupid as to sit still whilst someone grabs it’s tonsils has no right to survive – clearly good looks have not been it’s saving grace either, but then maybe it is so ugly, it has no predators
I bet they booze like bastards, probably on the alcoholic water byproduct of the fermenting corpses of their family members who have died of ugliness – then have late night discos lit by fireflies, where they copulate late into the night, before feeling totally embarrassed the next day
I’d like to start a petition to render it extinct – proposal to have them noodled out of existence by young ladies who come to the fight with built in buoyancy a plenty, and post as much of this war on You-tube, or whatever other channel won’t censor it
I’m going to be a bitchy snob now.
The ramen pictured in the article’s photo look suspiciously like packaged brick ramen (with additional ingredients). Though the additional ingredients do make it look tasty, packaged ramen is not something a gourmet usually eats. A true velominatus will either make his ramen by hand or cycle across the water to a ramen-ya for the real thing.
N.b. A gourmand is a glutton, while a gourmet is one who appreciates fine food (Gourmand: qui aime manger et qui mange avec excès. Gourmet: quelqu’un qui s’ y connait en bonne nourriture, qui prend le temps d’apprecier la nourriture et de decouvrir de nouveaux mets).
@Aidas
I feel a richer human for this
Amazing how close appreciation and gluttony live in the Oxford French Dictionary
A bit like sympathy which lies between suffering and shit in the OED (don’t read too much into this, like alfabetical accuracy, as it is a misquoted medical joke – I’ll post the correct one when I work it out…)
@Dr C
The reason they are not extinct is because they eat everything that any other fish would not eat. For example, common catfish bait is corn, marshmallows, pickled pigs feet, mexican bar soap, chicken gizzards, roaches, maggots, carp guts, tobacco, and rotting shit.
There just like hipsters, if the rest of the world finds it boring, stupid, on unsuited for them they latch on to the shit like no tomorrow. Until tomorrow that is, when its not cool anymore.
@Minion
Hmm. You make a valid point sir.
Mods also seem to inspire an urge for a bit of the ultraviolence.
It seems however that as their sartorial flair may be considered questionable, they at least ensure that they ride beautiful modern bikes. Thus they should be considered acceptable provided they keep their sidies in check and don’t festoon said bike with a hundred mirrors.
@King Clydesdale
fascinating – retro-respect to the catslug indeed – nay perhaps we should regard it as one of the building blocks of the ecosystem we enjoy – I offer my apologies to the ugly feckers
I imagine there might be a hundred other uses for them, such as making scottish musical instruments, comedy hats, cow udder transplants, portable toilets, childrens’ hot air balloons, cheap movies – indeed, maybe a whole recycling industry lies undiscovered
@Dr C
or you could use them as a sleeping bag. perfect for keeping out the rain.
I think I might be able to upgrade to Level 2 PRO noodling this year, with a little effort. The weather has turned just enough here to place the feel of fall in the air & in the sky. I’ve actually caught myself eagerly eyeballing my cold weather gear, since most of it is very fine stuff. Nothing like a good ride in cooler weather with the proper gear.
That photo is making me hungry. I’m a noodle man. Start most days with either pho or rice. LOVED being in Japan & Vietnam, my kind of cuisine.
Oh, and my first proper CX training ride last night and after a lap my right shifter stopped shifting. First bike I’ve had Sram on & haven’t liked it at all. Throw is too far for me. Now the pawls won’t engage. Sweet. Trying to figure out if you can rebuild or if I must replace. Cake icing: woke up to check it out…and had a rear flat. Bugger.
Nice one, Cyclops!
@ ron, did you use Gore ride on cables/housing?
if not, give that a try, it worked for me as mine did the same on my Force stuff.
@Souleur
Love the drawing. Sort of looks like you’re giving the catfish the one-finger salute whilst pulling him out of his lair by his innards.
Ozarks Arkansas or Ozarks Missouri? I ask ’cause I have family in both.
Oh, speaking of Arkansas, Competitive Cyclist was just bought out and is moving from Little Rock to Utah.
@zalamanda
see what I mean!
endless possibilities – in fact, I’ll give £5000 to the first Velominatus to race whilst wearing a catfish (Sponsors dicision will be final and not subject to dispute; before one of you redneckers goes down the nearest pond with a stick of dynamite and a sharp knife….)
@Dr C
It’s rednecks. And what do I need the knife for? I’m not eatin’ eat. I’m wearin’ it.
@Jeff in PetroMetro
Oops, sorry, as in NFL “Washington Rednecks”?
Disappointing to assume you are going to stick one on your head – I thought you might go for a big mutha one, so you’d need to get your legs out the back end somehow – catfishhats are too easy and don’t count
one of the more interesting things I’ve read from the velominati lately. noodle on.
….secretly hoping Soleur has his pencil out again on this one!!
…apologies Souleur
Dr F
Souleur – Yeah, it has the Gore Ride On cables/housing. Not the sealed stuff though.
Did you fix yours just by a recabling? I’m not positive if mine is a cable issue or in the ratcheting mechanism(s).
Any advice would be GREAT! Drives me crazy to have a bike out of the lineup.
@Ron
Dude, that sucks. Here’s the deal on those (and I’m considering chucking SRAM altogether), the pawls probably aren’t engaging because they forgot to grease them at the factory. Buddy of mine is dealing with it currently. If you know how, you can do it yourself, but better to have the shop where you got it do it, ’cause if there’s damage, SRAM will replace it. Shitty product, great customer service.
I broke off the right double tap lever this summer (just fell off in my hand while upshifting). They sent me a new one and so far it’s OK. But won’t buy that gruppo again.
@Ron
Yeah, my last two early morning rides over the Labor Day weekend were in the low 40F range so I’ve already started rocking the cold weather kit. I have plenty of LS jerseys and two wind vests but the Michelin wind vest is a stand alone that doesn’t have any matching kit with it – and I’ve become a total matching kit snob – and while I have a LS jersey and matching bib for the other wind vest I don’t like the kit too much because 1.) it is mostly white and 2.) it’s made by Pactimo and I don’t like the chamios much. So yesterday I ordered a Velominati LS jersey and wind vest. I’m going to be pretty styling this fall and next spring.
@Cyclops
did you ever get the Idaho Road Champ colour bands yet?
@Ron
Another thing: if you are running compact cranks on a compact carbon frame (with a BB30) the front derail cable (you’ll notice if you look close), makes a weird angle turn from the cable guide under the BB and might be rubbing the frame. The friction makes it hard to shift. I remedied the issue by getting a small plastic sleeve and running it over the cable just through the cable guide and up a bit. I did it for the rear as well, and it really helped a lot.
scaler – Thanks for the feedback. I strongly dislike Sram, don’t like how far the throw is to move the chain in. When I’m tired & struggling why do I want to have to push extra far?! Not sure why anyone likes this stuff. Hell, I like my 9-speed 105 over it!
It’s an Al/carbon cx frame (Van Dessel Gin & Trombones) with 42/38 rings, Cannondale (FSA) carbon cranks with BB30. Angle from under the BB to FD doesn’t look that weird.
Got the bike used from a friend, not purchased at a shop. Called my LBS, told him the issue, he didn’t suggest cleaning/lubing pawls would help. But, I did ask him about a rebuild kit so maybe I steered the conversation.
So, you think I should just head to a shop and have them check it out? Suggest to them to clean/lube it?
@Ron
If you’re not comfortable taking the free hub apart (lot’s of little bits in there sometimes), then yes. It may not be the pawls, it might be the hub bearings (which are easier to deal with).
@Ron
Also, that plastic cable sleeve I mentioned before, really helped the shifting a lot. A couple of other guys I know that run SRAM did that too and were happy with the results. Cheap and easy.
@pakrat
Is that Big George in street clothes? Kinda looks like him – but better shaven.
@Dr C
Frank offered to do some up but I would have to order 10 of them. I don’t need $700 worth of identical jerseys.
@Cyclops
I wore my LS V jersey in the pouring rain this morning. Good to be warm and styling while Rule #9-ing.
Yeah: what’s that all about? I’m the same; just ordered Castelli AND Giordana skull caps so I can match different kits while I ride. WTF??
But here’s my (almost related) question: Re. Rule #17. I get it; I’m onboard with it. But what about smaller teams without the bigger budgets of the elite squads? Does Rule #17 (which I still read as “don’t do it, because even with the loophole it’s kinda lame”) allow for a certain cool factor to be caught wearing less well-funded team gear? As a way of sustaining them and helping to build their profile?