Is this still the off season for the people of the North? I hope so. I know it’s -34 fahrenheit where Marko lives so he is only riding three times a week to prepare for the Keepers Tour. It seems @souleur has a little holiday guilt and now that those damn holidays are behind us it’s time to think about the cycling season ahead.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
The season has passed that all cyclists are cautious about. That time of year where food is abundant, and for most of us, we are in a respite as well. This calculates into a caloric excess. And we must admit, we cannot avoid it. Tis the season as we say. At work, our partners and colleagues bring in food and drink to enjoy. Our families make coveted goodies and neighbors even send treats over to express gratitude and friendship. To fully reject these things would indeed be the highest order of an asshole, yet to fully accept it is to throw away our many months of riding and training; at least that is for us north-of-the-equator types. Nonetheless, this time of year we do our best to be friendly and gracious to our friends and family even if that means eating that extra piece of pumpkin pie.
Brothers and Sisters, we must be careful. As cyclists, we know the price we pay for such friendly behavior. Because lurking in the shadows of our get togethers and parties is the man with the hammer. I know, you may not have realized this, but it is an observation I have recently made. We have indeed become familiar with him in seasons past when he visits us as the uninvited guest of our friendly bike rides. But now in the off season, the man with the hammer’s love of being the peeping Tom is in full swing. See, for now, the man with the hammer is taking notes on all of our indiscretions, each and every single one. He has a flawless memory bank and each and every thing we indulge at this time of year is officially on the record. Sure, it’s just a piece of pie, but each goodie we take in, it will be required of us one day. See, for the man with the hammer, it’s a special day he looks forward to and it’s called payback day. He’s a bored lunatic who has nothing more to do than inflict loads of hatred upon us. In fact there is nothing that he relishes in more than to take advantage of us at that perfect moment, when you are bleeding out your eyeballs, you are gasping for a short breath of air and this fifty pound monkey jumps on your back. For some, he rarely pays a visit because they are very, very disciplined. For those like myself, he visits often and repeatedly and in heavy doses. Because of his regularly scheduled appointments, I have become more familiar with him and I take note of his characteristics, his virtue, his habits. And the more I learn of him, the more he reminds me of Jack Torrance in the Shining, BAMM, there he is and boy is he ever-present and somebody is gonna pay because he is all about the bat-shit-craziness.
Yes, it’s that special day when you resume your training. That day becomes the day we recognize our sins of the past. It may be the hill repeats, it may be that perfect stretch of road that we find ourselves doing max intervals in V-locus fashion, it may be that long steady climb; but whatever it is we all will come to that pivotal point that we crawl before the alter of the man with the hammer and pay penance for the luxuries of the holiday season. The man with the hammer recalls each and every one of our sins as he checks them off one by one. He calls us to atone and inflicts loads of V commensurate our just deserts. Sadly, some will be discouraged, but for us Keepers of the highest order, we understand this is required. We understand and accept the pain, the suffering, and that atonement is called for. What the man with the hammer doesn’t get, is when we actually sit down at the table like gentlepeople, sit, talk and take account of all that we have done, we then ask for more pain, another pounding, a repeated mashing to make us hard as nails. Because that is exactly what we realize we need in order to become better. The problem is the man with the hammer isn’t interested a conversation and he isn’t a gentleman.
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@Souleur I will just say that I will be needing to atonement the hell out of myself when I can ride everyday again.
I can already taste the vomit
@Dan_R
thats 2 of us!
I use to train like that, with the index of my workout and fitness being if/when I would vomit
however, i have grown up alot since then and haven't in over 10yrs. maybe i should study up on Rule V, as I did slam some steep long hills, felt nauseous and didn't vomit...but oh well, will revisit this on the next ride
@xyxax Doc ! Get a fookin' Merckx! What else is there? There are those that ride Merckx's and those that want to. You will not be sorry!!!
@roger
I learned that lesson the hard way last year! I don't know what else they mix with the road salt here but it's some nasty stuff.
@Sauterelle
How about the muck from farm vehicles, I see a lot of manure spreading and what not going on at certain times of year, and it can be difficult to avoid especially in the frequent wet weather we get here in Caledonia, always wonder if there is a film of cow poop or something coating the bidon. On the other hand, what dont kill ya only makes ye stronger ?
@Rob
Nice one, the hardest part is just getting out the door, later you can enjoy the post ride thaw happy and content you are a hard core full on heavy metal rule 9 beast.
@PeakInTwoYears
Simplicity itself. I'm in. I plan on hitting the first boat. If it is really chilly(!) I might not be flying full V-Regalia. Be cool to meet up though.
Dr/Mrs Eightzero hates CH for the same reason as your VMH. Too many idiots. The clowns that can't handle riding closer than 3 feet to another rider wear her out. The Cascade crowd is an interesting bike tribe, but reliable ain't their longest suit.
I was thinking full blown Cogal for a ride on Whidbey in May.
@strathlubnaig
Ugh, on one of my routes it seems there's always a manure truck out spraying. I grew up in Wisconsin (state motto: "Smell Our Dairy-Air") but this one is almost unbearable. It could be worse, though. A woman I used to work with had one go crazy in the field next to her and it sprayed a load of liquid poo into her open sunroof. Brand new car with a white interior. Blecch.
@Sauterelle
Not much has changed I can assure you. On the WI mini Cogal last March in Middleton, there was plenty o' the keech lying bout on the roads. Thankfully it was dry or it would have been a gritty ride in more ways than one!
@strathlubnaig a mate of mine who rode for a coupla years in Belgium (one on Johan Bruyneel's "development squad") reckoned that one of the hardest things to get used to was the deflected cow shit that would cover his bidons and make him sick.
Especially tough for non-Europeans whose systems haven't built up tolerance to mad cow disease. No doubt your system has been trained on Irn Bru so am guessing a bit of cow crap wont bother you.