@prowrench is throwing down the greasy gauntlet. There is truth in his words. We already understand the gap between the professional cyclist and us civilians extends somewhere over the horizon. We can ride the bikes, wear nice kit and ride the race routes but that’s about as close as we can get. No one is paying us to ride. We are not Pros. But we can work on our own bikes can’t we?
Please also see the required supplemental reading, All You Bike Pricks.
VLVV, Gianni
You got a new bike a few years ago and something magical happened. You realized that when your legs aren’t languishing under a desk at the office or basking under the blue glare of the television that, by some unknown miracle, they can propel you to astounding speeds on your bicycle. You took heart, rode some more and you got quick. You joined a club, subscribed to every magazine and every blog, you learned The Rules and quickly ascended to the ranks of the initiated cyclist. Good for you!
You, the tinkerer, are one savvy fellow. You have examined the simple steed beneath you and with your god given mechanical prowess turned a few screws, fiddled with some barrel adjusters, squirted some lube here and there and tamed a few squeaks and calmed the wild mis-shifts that embarrassed you in front of your friends. You maintain your bike, your brother-in-law’s bike, your neighbor’s bike and the kids’ bikes from the neighborhood. Fueled with a few small successes and powered by the unlimited knowledge bestowed upon you by YouTube University and several forums you are now an expert mechanic. You can turn a wrench with the best of them…right?
Let me introduce you to an idea that may not have crossed your mind: You can’t.
Before you take offense, lend me your ear and I will try to help you to comprehend the vastness of all that you don’t know. As a professional mechanic of 12 years, I would like to introduce you to the subject of bicycle maintenance repair from the point of view of the greasy handed elitists who you have come to defy and will avoid paying at all costs.
Every morning I wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to work; just like you. When I get to work, however, I am greeted by the aroma of tires and a spacious shop filled with expensive specialty tools and all manner of bikes. From the wobbly beginners’ bike to the bike you wish you had but probably never will, I work on them all, every day. Your hobby is my bread and butter.
I have installed thousands upon thousands of tires and tubes and threaded countless cables through more shifters and brake levers than you can begin to imagine. I have turned a million spoke nipples and skillfully negotiated the careful equilibrium of the perfectly trued wheel more times that you have tied your shoes. I remember to meticulously check the tension of every nut and bolt on your bike with precisely calibrated torque wrenches: a thought that you wish had occurred to you and a tool you wish you had. I wrap handlebars with confidence and great care so that the tape overlaps with an even, artful twist and tightens as you grip it instead of unraveling after your first few rides. I obsessively position every component just as it ought to be because every bike deserves to be in tip top shape and it is my livelihood to make it so.
I know you think you understand how your bike works. How hard could it be right? There is nothing hidden. Your bicycle sits before you baring all and yet you could take your bike to your neighborhood shop right now and they could find a thousand things wrong with it and just as many ways to charge you in order to fix it. There is a reason for that and the explanation is on its way.
It has taken me years to hone the skills involved in my craft. I can hear when your rear derailleur hanger is out of alignment by a degree or two and that has only come after listening to thousands of derailleurs ticking away in my work stand. You may as well be stone deaf when it comes to that. I know that dropping your front derailleur a millimeter or so and twisting it out just a hair will help it decisively slam and lock your chain to the big ring in the blink of an eye. You might as well be trying to pilot a spacecraft through an asteroid field with a blindfold on. The mechanics at your local shop have paid the price for the precious knowledge which you have supposed could come so easily. Rather than beleaguer you with further examples of how I am right and you are wrong, I will endeavor to make the process of outsourcing the sacred task of maintaining your bike a smooth and painless one.
Bridging The Gap
Successfully communicating with your local mechanics will be key to finding happiness in this process. Mechanics are a fickle bunch and if you haven’t figured it out by reading thus far, some of us might be a tad egotistical and maybe a touch insecure. I will do my best to set you up for success as you repent and and take your bike in for its first much needed, legitimate service.
First, take everything that you have come to know about working on bikes and stick it in your pocket. Mechanics know how to work on bikes and they don’t care much for hearing what you think it entails. From the moment the mechanic lays eyes on your bike, seeing your terrible attempt at wrapping bars, your grossly over lubed drivetrain or the hack job that you did running and ugly web of too long or too short cables and housing all over your bike, he will know, and it will go without saying, what it is that you have been up to. Don’t be too proud of your work because it will only result in heartbreak.
Second, bear in mind that time and expertise are never on closeout and it will cost you to have the pros lay their hands on your beloved bike and resuscitate it to full health. It will be important for your mental well-being to consult with your cohorts and settle on a mechanic that everyone can agree bills repair work fairly and is worth the money that you’ll spend. Since you have been maintaining your bike, you have been letting basic things go through the cracks. The mechanic will want to fix all of these before you get your bike back so your first visit could cost a small fortune. Take heart though, because once this is out of the way, subsequent visits will consist of simple adjustments mainly and will be relatively inexpensive.
Thirdly and most importantly, be kind. I provide whatever service is due to every customer based on what they pay, even if they treat me like scum. For the nice customer however, I always go above and beyond. As the owner of my shop always says, “It is nice to be nice to the nice”. Kindness is currency but even more importantly, currency is currency. A little gratuity goes a long long way at the bike shop. Cash or beer are customary.
Taking your bike to the shop can be a hard step for the committed and self-assured home mechanic. Before the sum of what you don’t know piles up and results in your untimely mid-club-ride death, consider my words and come to the light! Hang up your mail order toy toolset and take your bike to the pros. You deserve it. Your bike deserves it. A-Merckx.
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I spent two days with the mechanics in my local shop a couple of years ago, to learn from the pros just how I could take care of the jobs I needed to and leave the real mechanicing to them when needed. Yes I paid them for the privilege but it was time and money well spent. It's served me well, as do they whenever my bike goes to them. Vive the good mechanic; the majority of us would be screwed without them.
My feelings on this matter are as follows:
1. Know your mechanic. You have to know your mechanic and in a shop with multiple mechanics know which one is going to work on your bike at any give time. The shop where I bought my frame has a myriad of them, some of which I'd be horrified by if they touched my steed. For that reason, I prefer to go to a one man shop run by someone I trust, even if that means it may take a little longer when I need do need a repair.
2. Know your shit. If you want to work on your bike, get some skills. Parktool and Youtube are great resources, but before you dive in and start wrenching on your $5,000 bike nothing beats learning hands on from someone who really knows what they are doing and learning on someone else's bike. Being taught by a real cycling sensei - someone with some legitimate credentials - is worth its volume in liquid gold when it comes to learning how to do things the right way. Take classes at your LBS if they are offered or see if your city has a bike co-op.
3. Know your limits. There are some things that I could probably do, but don't because they could be pretty expensive should I screw them up - cutting a steerer tube, installing headset cups (since I don't own a press), dealing with any seized part, building wheels. However, I enjoy working on my bikes and have built all of my stable up from framesets. I don't hesitate to take my bikes to the shop, however, when what's needed is something more than I'm comfortable doing on my own.
Provided that you know your shit and know your limits, I don't know that there is much that you risk in taking on the bulk of your repairs yourself. Will they be as good as what a pro mechanic could do? or completed as quickly (provided there isn't a queue) probably not...but I'd much rather work on my own bikes simply because I enjoy and find satisfaction in doing it. As the cliche goes, if I die, at least I'll die doing something I love.
Those of us who are LBS know to tithe 10% of our income, and we get to go to the temple.
Having been a ski tech, I tend to agree. There are some skilled amateurs but a good pro will always ace them.
choose your shop as carefully as your bicycle.
You just defined "bike snob." Geez, get over yourself. You're a pro, great. Nice to see you bask in it and look down your nose at those of who don haven't put In the 10K hours it takes to be certified experts. God save us from experts, in whatever field, who tell us what's good for us.
I love it when a mechanic says, "I'm not sure, but I can definitely figure it out." There is nothing wrong with not know everything about every little part out there, but I appreciate it when a mechanic confidently says he'll take the time to inspect it, do it right, and get it running again.
I do not love it when I bring in a bike with pristine Leader's Tape and a mechanic with greasy paws grabs the tape to put it in the stand. C'mon dude.
VeloVita - good list, good points!
@Michael Mann
I don't think he was doing this, Mr. Mann.
There is no greater joy than working on your bike, getting it from a heap into a working mechanical piece of art. But it is not easy, despite how simple it looks. And it keeps getting more complicated and the consequences of mistakes more severe.
Basically, each of us should learn as much as we can about bike maintenance, but the secret to living a long life is knowing your limitations; I would never be too proud to ask questions or bring it into the shop when I'm stuck, no matter how much experience I have and how many times I've done something.
And, it never fails to amaze how quickly the pros solve the problem I've been struggling with. Truly a craft that should be admired.
But finding a good shop is key, and a good mechanic - which is not easy. But the good ones are so awesome they're fun as hell to talk to, so it makes going into the shop that much easier.
@Steampunk
Aces all around - +1 badge to you for that one, matey.
@frank
Sweet! But can I get the Clint badge instead? Because that would be even awesomer. Dude's so cool he can even talk to chairs...
They're bicycles not jet planes. When dad bought my first bike he got out the spanners and told me how to maintain it. I spent 4 yrs at college learning engineering and seven years working on the shop floor. Give me a pile of bits and a set of instructions and I can assemble ANYTHING not just a bicycle. I do agree that non mechanical people shouldn't repair bikes but I've lost count of the number of bikes brought to me 2 weeks after a service and barely functioning. Mechs incorrectly installed, cables not lubed, Cantis incorrectly adjusted and on and on. I value the good mechanics at my lbs but all mechanics are not created equal. Not by a long way. Oh and by the way any competent engineer can hear/feel the sound of an incorrectly adjusted machine and so diagnose what is wrong with it. It isn't some zen like superpower just the common sense to count the clicks ,find the clicks, use your eyes and THINK before you act...