Categories: Guest Article

Guest Article: Down with the YJA

The yellow jacket of authority

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very much. We always lose when a car is involved. Thanks for contributing @Kah.

Yours in Cycling, Gianni

High-visibility jackets offend me. I’m not in the position to judge fashion really, and generally don’t care what other people wear, but something that tarnishes an entire mode of transport as unsafe and dorky is not okay. These garments misinform the general public that cycling is an unsafe activity (look, that cyclist looks like a lit up flare and a Christmas tree had a baby!), they make all other cyclists look like dorks.

Now, I’m not picking on genuinely introverted people, but people who are just less comfortable interacting with other vehicles on the road. As someone truly in love with spinning pedals on the road, I don’t see why there is this reticence to spend time on the road. The footpath is by far the worse option: congested with pedestrians, littered with signs, and unpredictable in its ebb and wanes.

There’s a spectrum of how happy you are with sharing the road: going from very uncomfortable to exuding quiet confidence before becoming attention-seeking and finally there is a thin line to obnoxiousness.

Uncomfortable, more introverted cyclists tend to hug the kerb, trying to stay out of everyone’s way. Every potential interaction is exaggerated; every passing car becomes a danger. Confident cyclists who are experienced know when to draw attention to their intentions, when to back off while negotiating between quickly moving cars, and how to tell the difference between a passing maneuvere that is actually dangerous and one that is not even worth commenting on. This comfort around other road users is something you can cultivate, but not one you can fake.

Attention-seeking cyclists and obnoxious cyclists tend to feel more self-entitled. “I’m a vehicle/road user too!” is the common mantra of these cyclists who don’t feel inclined to offer the same courtesy they demand to the other road users. To be fair these rolling douchenozzles tend to be the same regardless of vehicle.

My problem is, the introverts are trying to make up for their meekness with the artificial posturing afforded by the YJA. Their mistaken assumption of course is that this magical garment bestows visibility, and thus invincibility in traffic, leading some to jump to the illogical conclusion that they have automatic right of way in every circumstance by virtue of the highly visible jacket.

Magic jackets are not the answer to safer cyclists. Learning to share the road on a bicycle is the answer. Anticipation, not hindsight.

Fucking cyclists.

kah

View Comments

  • @Gianni

    @ten B

    And here's a question for the keepers: will the Farnese Vini/Vini Fantini kit ever be acceptable attire?

    Hell yes. If you are a pro and you are Italian. I think it kills.

    @Adrian

    The meek shall inherit the earth......

    or was it the Greek!

    blessed are the cheese makers.

    Whats so special about the cheese makers?

  • Beach Rd, Melbourne, Australia. YJA, MTB shoes, business socks, unshaven legs, non invited drafting, quick-ties looped through helmet to ward off magpies, non-cycling sunglasses, Shimano Tiagro group set on a budget priced Giant. Chapeau to you for getting out and riding but for fuck's sake I'm not your brother in arms so don't talk to me about it being a great morning for a ride.

  • @Adrian

    @Gianni

    @ten B

    And here's a question for the keepers: will the Farnese Vini/Vini Fantini kit ever be acceptable attire?

    Hell yes. If you are a pro and you are Italian. I think it kills.

    @Adrian

    The meek shall inherit the earth......

    or was it the Greek!

    blessed are the cheese makers.

    Whats so special about the cheese makers?

     Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

  • @ChrisO http://www.cyclingmaven.com/bunnings-is-not-a-bike-shop/

    We do have some pretty aggressive magpies here. The real solution is Rule V of course..

  • @snoov

    I could be out of line here, but it seems to me that Rule #2 and Rule #3 don't allow you to pawn that YJA off on someone else. I suppose you could include a note in the listing noting that it may not, under any circumstances, be used for cycling. On the other hand, you could always use it to make a kick-ass scarecrow!

  • @ChrisO the example provided by @The Grande Fondue is a little extreme but from late winter to early summer you'll see many a Fred with them atop their heads to try to avoid nesting magpies swooping & pecking at them as they pass. Safe to say they sit high on the Nod Snob list.

Share
Published by
kah

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago