If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d’Huez.
But such whimsy is not for every day. Occasionally, we find ourselves faced with the prospect of an hour of solitude upon the wind trainer or rollers, where our sport is transformed from a glorious experience of powering ourselves along with only Nature for company to one where a ride of 30 minutes is barely tolerable, 45 seems like a lifetime wasted, and 60 minutes is more than most of us can even consider enduring. 60 minutes on the trainer at a leisurely pace or a 4 and a half hour death march up a barren, heat-riddled climb? I’ll take the 4 and half hours every time, thank you very much.
We all have to do it, and there are even some redeeming qualities to be had. You get better at Rule #5, for one. You develop a more magnificent stroke, for another. Whatever the redeeming qualities, we all have our way of coping. Jeff in PetroMetro returns with his view on how to make it suck just a little bit less.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
Either due to life-threatening weather or poor scheduling of life’s lesser priorities (see Rule #11), we Velominati spend a little time each year riding indoors. Whether one enjoys a ride on rollers or a trainer, and no matter if one methodically spins (as all good recovery ride specialists do), grinds out intervals, or practices ways to improve one’s magnificent stroke (scrape the mud off your shoes, scrape the mud off your shoes…), death-by-boredom is always a possibility. I’m not one to go for videos, or read books, or hook up to a computer. Call me old fashioned. I like to meditate on the V with only the voices inside my head screaming for mercy from the pain of a complete lactic acid meltdown.
Or, sometimes I like a little music.
Back in the Dark Ages, I used the yellow (sweatproof) Sony Walkman to play my favorite homemade training cassette tapes. But in our modern days of inexpensive digital storage, and with the brilliant invention of the “shuffle” command on my iPod Nano, I have some seven hours of musical motivation to keep my indoor sessions lively and loud.
I thought I might start a little conversation regarding favorite training tunes. Now, I know ALL of my fellow Velominati strictly adhere to Rule #62 when riding outside. And of course, we prefer strict adherence to Rule #9, but, as I stated above, shit happens.
While I have eclectic taste, I don’t fancy Al Green, Buck Owens, or Duke Ellington when loving a Rule #5 beatdown. No. I tack to the loud and fast. My preferences are punk and “classic rock”. (It was just rock when I first heard it.) So here’s a little flavor of my indoor training selection, in no particular order.
Hate to Say I Told You So“”The Hives””from the album “Your New Favourite Band”
Tick Tick Boom“”The Hives””from the album “The Black and White Album”
American Idiot“”Green Day””from the album “American Idiot”
The Rock Show“”Blink 182″”from the album “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket”
I Fought the Law (Live)””The Clash””from the album “The Clash: Live at Shea Stadium”
Batman Theme“”The Jam””from the album “In the City”
Communication Breakdown“”Led Zeppelin””from the album “Led Zeppelin”
The Real Me“”The Who””from the album “Quadrophenia”
Rock Around the Clock“”Ten Pole Tudor””from the album “The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle”
Of course there are many, many others. But I offer these few picks-to-click to perhaps start a little discussion and get some musical ideas for my next indoor shopping spree at the V and Dime.
A-Merckx
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View Comments
@xyxax
NICE bike for the VMH!!!
As for me, I'd go with the 2.25 rollers. They seem pretty possible to me and I am not a Cat 2 rider by any means. Bought mine off of ebay for $225 and they are mint. Love 'em for the indoor stuff.
@Chris
Glad to hear someone else enjoys this aboutphacism - I reckon I have almost turned saying this to annoying wimmin, into a sport in itself - love it! (note, not all wimmin, just annoying ones)
On your social security mandate, can I vote for your election please?
@Dr C
Absolutely, just drop a line to Dave c/o SamCam@numberten.gb. You could also suggest that panel members only be allowed to deliberate after completing early morning imperial centuries in Rule 9 conditions.
@Chris
sounds like a plan
Hoping it does not constitute a breach of National Security, putting the PM's wife's email addo on a forum?
@Chris
Spot on fellow. For those that struggle doing a single task well at the best of times, I find it a risk too far.
Agonising over the purchase of some rollers over here at the moment. The last 2 winters on the turbo have created some serious indoor training complexes but after riding 80k in 2degree freezing fog yesterday, outdoors is looking dicey too.
Ho-hum.
Crikey, sobering moment - think I may have just found a reason to stay in doors and get rollers after all
Lovely lady just in telling me about her 22 yr old nephew, nice chap, cycling along main road last week, over the bars, unsure whay, in a coma since - wearing helmet etc - bad shit
@Joe
I'm loving my rollers at the moment but there was something quite special about rolling through the silence in the fog yesterday morning at 5.30am. The first 45km of the route were new to me and I still have no idea what they look like! At 5°C it was slightly warmer though and being Sunday morning there were hardly any cars on the road.
@Dr C
Oh sod, I'm in trouble again.
@Dr C
As a medico Dr C I would have thought that if you paid much attention to those sort of stories you'd never get out of bed.
And you'd move house to avoid all the accidents that happen in the home.
It's just luck innit... you know as well as I do that statistically cycling is not a particularly dangerous activity compared to the many other things we do every day.
As a journalist for many years it gave me a good appreciation of the role that random f*cked-up luck plays.
Every day people walk out of their front doors, not thinking for a moment that they will never walk back in because of some random unpredictable event like a falling pot plant, runaway shopping trolley or any other literal or metaphorical banana skin that happens to be under their shoe.
Give the kids an extra tight hug, tell the wife you love her and get on your bike.
@xyxax
Yeah, perfect deduction, I did buy the Travel Trac rollers. They actually came recommended by a few racers on my club's forum, guys that can really hammer. I guess for some folks the noise isn't an issue, but for me it drove me freakin' insane. If I had a nice basement mancave where I could really crank the tunes it wouldn't be such a big deal, but alas I do not. Most my indoor time comes in the evening when the VMH and the downstairs neighbors are home, so I'd rather not be that loud for their sake as well.