Categories: Guest Article

Indoors at the V and Dime

If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d’Huez.

But such whimsy is not for every day. Occasionally, we find ourselves faced with the prospect of an hour of solitude upon the wind trainer or rollers, where our sport is transformed from a glorious experience of powering ourselves along with only Nature for company to one where a ride of 30 minutes is barely tolerable, 45 seems like a lifetime wasted, and 60 minutes is more than most of us can even consider enduring. 60 minutes on the trainer at a leisurely pace or a 4 and a half hour death march up a barren, heat-riddled climb? I’ll take the 4 and half hours every time, thank you very much. 

We all have to do it, and there are even some redeeming qualities to be had.  You get better at Rule #5, for one. You develop a more magnificent stroke, for another. Whatever the redeeming qualities, we all have our way of coping.  Jeff in PetroMetro returns with his view on how to make it suck just a little bit less.

Yours in Cycling,

Frank

Either due to life-threatening  weather or poor scheduling of life’s lesser priorities (see Rule #11), we Velominati spend a little time each year riding indoors.  Whether one enjoys a ride on rollers or a trainer, and no matter if one methodically spins (as all good recovery ride specialists do), grinds out intervals, or practices ways to improve one’s magnificent stroke (scrape the mud off your shoes, scrape the mud off your shoes…), death-by-boredom is always a possibility.  I’m not one to go for videos, or read books, or hook up to a computer.  Call me old fashioned. I like to meditate on the V with only the voices inside my head screaming for mercy from the pain of a complete lactic acid meltdown.

Or, sometimes I like a little music.

Back in the Dark Ages, I used the yellow (sweatproof) Sony Walkman to play my favorite homemade training cassette tapes.  But in our modern days of inexpensive digital storage, and with the brilliant invention of the “shuffle” command on my iPod Nano, I have some seven hours of musical motivation to keep my indoor sessions lively and loud.

I thought I might start a little conversation regarding favorite training tunes.  Now, I know ALL of my fellow Velominati strictly adhere to Rule #62 when riding outside.  And of course, we prefer strict adherence to Rule #9, but, as I stated above, shit happens.

While I have eclectic taste, I don’t fancy Al Green, Buck Owens, or Duke Ellington when loving a Rule #5 beatdown.  No.  I tack to the loud and fast.  My preferences are punk and “classic rock”. (It was just rock when I first heard it.)  So here’s a little flavor of my indoor training selection, in no particular order.

Hate to Say I Told You So“”The Hives””from the album “Your New Favourite Band”

Tick Tick Boom“”The Hives””from the album “The Black and White Album”

American Idiot“”Green Day””from the album “American Idiot”

The Rock Show“”Blink 182″”from the album “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket”

I Fought the Law (Live)””The Clash””from the album “The Clash:  Live at Shea Stadium”

Batman Theme“”The Jam””from the album “In the City”

Communication Breakdown“”Led Zeppelin””from the album “Led Zeppelin”

The Real Me“”The Who””from the album “Quadrophenia”

Rock Around the Clock“”Ten Pole Tudor””from the album “The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle”

Of course there are many, many others.  But I offer these few picks-to-click to perhaps start a little discussion and get some musical ideas for my next indoor shopping spree at the V and Dime.

A-Merckx

Jeff in Big D

Just another middle-aged cycling twatwaffle. Raced road, track, and a little cyclo-cross from 1985-1990. Currently ride 250km+ per week (in my mind). The older I get, the better I was.

View Comments

  • @ChrisO
    Well said - just off the blower to my LBS, my cyclocross bike has just arrived, so no indoor safety stuff for me (or in @Chris's case, Kitchen Nightmare/ Kitchen from Hell) - just in time for the last race of the season....arse

    Actually, on the subject of getting maimed, I took my kids to watch the latest round of Cx yesterday - it became quickly clear as the careered around aimlessly, and dangerously on their bikes in the park, that peripheral vision clearly doesn't develop until one's mid to late twenties

  • @mcsqueak
    I do have a (shared) mancave, but right under my daughters' bedroom and the oldest is already afraid of the alligators that are supposedly lurking there. So no loud strange noises (other than my shooting off into the washer-dryer). Thanks for your advice.

    @Buck Rogers

    "Super fit" and a "Beast"

    Ha. It was exactly those superlatives that made me wonder about the drum size, but you've convinced me on the 2.25's.

  • I love my rollers. They came with resistance and yesterday I changed it from 0 to 2, the highest setting, which has increased the burn and reduced the distance I go in the allotted time. I'm still trying to get out on the roads as much as possible but for the last week upon rising I have a cup of tea and hit the rollers for 30 mins before breakfast. It has made a huge difference to my day at work, feeling energised at the start and no feeling tired mid afternoon.

  • @ChrisO
    Here in Brooklyn, the other day, a shopping cart fell on a woman's head (still in a coma). It was pushed over the edge of an upper level parking lot by a bunch of 12-year olds and she just happened to be in the way.
    As you said...

  • @xyxax

    Or the cyclist that got cracked in the head by a brick from an overpass connecting two housing units, also in Brooklyn.

  • and we must never forget that unfortunate tale of our fellow Velominatus who was struck in the testicles by a potato

  • @Dr C

    and we must never forget that unfortunate tale of our fellow Velominatus who was struck in the testicles by a Potato

    And don't forget about him being stung by a bee immediately after, poor fellow.
    *snerk*

  • @mcsqueak

    Or the cyclist that got cracked in the head by a brick from an overpass connecting two housing units, also in Brooklyn.

    Yeah, that was along one of my routes into Manhattan. And why I will soon be the proud owner of this.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Nate

    @Buck Rogers

    I did adjust the rollers spacing so that now my front axle is directly over the front roller (it had been a bit behind it).
    Still, I am a total convert! I'll take rollers ANY DAY over the KK Pro or Cyclops stationary trainer.

    How did that adjustment affect things? Kreitler says to have the front roller a bit ahead of the axle.

    They do? Crap, I'll probably kill myself worse the next time I ride them. I was able to get just er 50 k in today outside so avoided the rollers. I'll let you know how it differs the next time I ride them. Should be this week as I am on call and my hours of work are a lot worse.

    Thanks for mentioning this. I went out to the cave for a sesh this evening and saw that the front roller was probably close to 7cm out in front of the axle. I moved it back to be just in front, and things were a good bit less squirrely.

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Jeff in Big D

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