Categories: Guest Article

Indoors at the V and Dime

If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d’Huez.

But such whimsy is not for every day. Occasionally, we find ourselves faced with the prospect of an hour of solitude upon the wind trainer or rollers, where our sport is transformed from a glorious experience of powering ourselves along with only Nature for company to one where a ride of 30 minutes is barely tolerable, 45 seems like a lifetime wasted, and 60 minutes is more than most of us can even consider enduring. 60 minutes on the trainer at a leisurely pace or a 4 and a half hour death march up a barren, heat-riddled climb? I’ll take the 4 and half hours every time, thank you very much. 

We all have to do it, and there are even some redeeming qualities to be had.  You get better at Rule #5, for one. You develop a more magnificent stroke, for another. Whatever the redeeming qualities, we all have our way of coping.  Jeff in PetroMetro returns with his view on how to make it suck just a little bit less.

Yours in Cycling,

Frank

Either due to life-threatening  weather or poor scheduling of life’s lesser priorities (see Rule #11), we Velominati spend a little time each year riding indoors.  Whether one enjoys a ride on rollers or a trainer, and no matter if one methodically spins (as all good recovery ride specialists do), grinds out intervals, or practices ways to improve one’s magnificent stroke (scrape the mud off your shoes, scrape the mud off your shoes…), death-by-boredom is always a possibility.  I’m not one to go for videos, or read books, or hook up to a computer.  Call me old fashioned. I like to meditate on the V with only the voices inside my head screaming for mercy from the pain of a complete lactic acid meltdown.

Or, sometimes I like a little music.

Back in the Dark Ages, I used the yellow (sweatproof) Sony Walkman to play my favorite homemade training cassette tapes.  But in our modern days of inexpensive digital storage, and with the brilliant invention of the “shuffle” command on my iPod Nano, I have some seven hours of musical motivation to keep my indoor sessions lively and loud.

I thought I might start a little conversation regarding favorite training tunes.  Now, I know ALL of my fellow Velominati strictly adhere to Rule #62 when riding outside.  And of course, we prefer strict adherence to Rule #9, but, as I stated above, shit happens.

While I have eclectic taste, I don’t fancy Al Green, Buck Owens, or Duke Ellington when loving a Rule #5 beatdown.  No.  I tack to the loud and fast.  My preferences are punk and “classic rock”. (It was just rock when I first heard it.)  So here’s a little flavor of my indoor training selection, in no particular order.

Hate to Say I Told You So“”The Hives””from the album “Your New Favourite Band”

Tick Tick Boom“”The Hives””from the album “The Black and White Album”

American Idiot“”Green Day””from the album “American Idiot”

The Rock Show“”Blink 182″”from the album “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket”

I Fought the Law (Live)””The Clash””from the album “The Clash:  Live at Shea Stadium”

Batman Theme“”The Jam””from the album “In the City”

Communication Breakdown“”Led Zeppelin””from the album “Led Zeppelin”

The Real Me“”The Who””from the album “Quadrophenia”

Rock Around the Clock“”Ten Pole Tudor””from the album “The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle”

Of course there are many, many others.  But I offer these few picks-to-click to perhaps start a little discussion and get some musical ideas for my next indoor shopping spree at the V and Dime.

A-Merckx

Jeff in Big D

Just another middle-aged cycling twatwaffle. Raced road, track, and a little cyclo-cross from 1985-1990. Currently ride 250km+ per week (in my mind). The older I get, the better I was.

View Comments

  • @Nate @TommyTubolare

    Tried letting a bit of air out didn't like that, the bike started bobbing at high cadence. Cleaning up the roller helped so there may have been some residual lube on it.

    Flatted for the second time in 7 sessions. What's going on? I haven't flatted since August on the road and now they're coming in thick and fast on the rollers.

  • Can't say I've ever flatted on the rollers. Being new to this discussion, I'll throw my 2c in the ring.
    I have the Elite parabolic rollers, with the red plastic drums. Not too noisy, and good quality. Probably not on par with the Kreitlers though.
    the bad (or good thing) is being able to generate whopping amounts of static due to the plastic drums. This is bad when you go to grab your balcony railing, but good when someone walks past you at the track as you're warming up and you can give them an insight as to your personality.

    I don't use them much as I'm level 4 of a unit building and people come out and stare. For this, I long for a stand-alone garage mancave area of my own. Ahh, to own a house in Sydney. Easier to win Le Tour, really.

  • @Chris
    Huh, I have never flatted on my stationary trainer (100's of hours on that thing over the last three years) or on my rollers.

    Not sure why you're having all the bad luck. Maybe it is your fate not to ride rollers? :)

  • Having arrived in Argentina, the Belgian chose to eschew a training ride with his teammates; staying in the garage of the team's hotel.

    "The rest opted for a ride in the rain," Boonen explained to Het Nieuwsblad. "But then you can't train properly; not like a session on the rollers."

    Hell, Boonen needs to HTFU and obey Rule 9, eh?

  • @Buck Rogers

    Having arrived in Argentina, the Belgian chose to eschew a training ride with his teammates; staying in the garage of the team's hotel.
    "The rest opted for a ride in the rain," Boonen explained to Het Nieuwsblad. "But then you can't Train Properly; not like a session on the rollers."
    Hell, Boonen needs to HTFU and obey Rule #9, eh?

    I understand what he's saying. Round these parts, you almost have to halve your speed in the rain. Wet oil on the roads will bring you unstuck eventually, if a rain-blinded motorist doesn't first. Imagine if they'd all crashed and he was the only team member left because of it!

  • @Nate
    I haven't tried doing any of those and they do look quite useful. The problem I have with high intensity short intervals is getting up to speed smoothly on the rollers. I do a descending interval session once a week (Sufferfest's Downward Spiral) and find that for 45 seconds or under I'm either in 50 x 11 or 50 x 12 but the last few shift have to be smooth otherwise I'd be rearranging the furniture. For the 15 second effort I usually start slightly early and because it's the last one before the recovery I'll hold it at max for an extra 10 seconds as I'll have only just hit full speed.

  • @Chris @Rhys @Nate @Buck Rogers
    granted this weekend the weather is not suitable for cycling in England (indeed, I am sure not in an hysterical overreaction, COBRA has been convened by the Prime Minister- same group will meet in an underground bunker when nuclear attack imminent/ongoing, and declared a State of National Anxiety)

    Anyway, what I am going to say is, why are we not out on the roads? - unless it is less than 1C, which it rarely has been until this week, surely better to be outside? Still refusing to train indoors me

  • @Dr C
    Are you suggesting a lack of V? Who, doctor? Me doctor? How very dare you, how very dare you!?

    Apart from being spineless, I'm currently without decent lights, my last set of cheapo high lumen Chinese lights are currently only offering random, occasional flicker mode. The new set, I was informed this morning are finally en route.

    Despite such set backs, I am determined to ride with my club on Sunday with the caveat that it's not snowing (not so much that I don't want to go riding in it but I don't want to have Mrs Chris and the kids driving around in it if I need rescuing). I'm off to see if I can find some warmer gloves and a decent snood thing at lunch time.

  • @Dr C
    By "England", I realise that you are excluding the Peoples Socialist Republic of Liverpool. Here, we have crystal clear skies and only the lightest smearing of ice on the roads. The council provides potholes and ruts in order for us to gain traction in the event of skidding on ice so it's business as usual over here. Rollers? Pah, rollers are what scouse girls put in their hair to go shopping on a Saturday afternoon.

1 25 26 27 28 29 39
Share
Published by
Jeff in Big D

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago