Categories: Guest Article

Indoors at the V and Dime

If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d’Huez.

But such whimsy is not for every day. Occasionally, we find ourselves faced with the prospect of an hour of solitude upon the wind trainer or rollers, where our sport is transformed from a glorious experience of powering ourselves along with only Nature for company to one where a ride of 30 minutes is barely tolerable, 45 seems like a lifetime wasted, and 60 minutes is more than most of us can even consider enduring. 60 minutes on the trainer at a leisurely pace or a 4 and a half hour death march up a barren, heat-riddled climb? I’ll take the 4 and half hours every time, thank you very much. 

We all have to do it, and there are even some redeeming qualities to be had.  You get better at Rule #5, for one. You develop a more magnificent stroke, for another. Whatever the redeeming qualities, we all have our way of coping.  Jeff in PetroMetro returns with his view on how to make it suck just a little bit less.

Yours in Cycling,

Frank

Either due to life-threatening  weather or poor scheduling of life’s lesser priorities (see Rule #11), we Velominati spend a little time each year riding indoors.  Whether one enjoys a ride on rollers or a trainer, and no matter if one methodically spins (as all good recovery ride specialists do), grinds out intervals, or practices ways to improve one’s magnificent stroke (scrape the mud off your shoes, scrape the mud off your shoes…), death-by-boredom is always a possibility.  I’m not one to go for videos, or read books, or hook up to a computer.  Call me old fashioned. I like to meditate on the V with only the voices inside my head screaming for mercy from the pain of a complete lactic acid meltdown.

Or, sometimes I like a little music.

Back in the Dark Ages, I used the yellow (sweatproof) Sony Walkman to play my favorite homemade training cassette tapes.  But in our modern days of inexpensive digital storage, and with the brilliant invention of the “shuffle” command on my iPod Nano, I have some seven hours of musical motivation to keep my indoor sessions lively and loud.

I thought I might start a little conversation regarding favorite training tunes.  Now, I know ALL of my fellow Velominati strictly adhere to Rule #62 when riding outside.  And of course, we prefer strict adherence to Rule #9, but, as I stated above, shit happens.

While I have eclectic taste, I don’t fancy Al Green, Buck Owens, or Duke Ellington when loving a Rule #5 beatdown.  No.  I tack to the loud and fast.  My preferences are punk and “classic rock”. (It was just rock when I first heard it.)  So here’s a little flavor of my indoor training selection, in no particular order.

Hate to Say I Told You So“”The Hives””from the album “Your New Favourite Band”

Tick Tick Boom“”The Hives””from the album “The Black and White Album”

American Idiot“”Green Day””from the album “American Idiot”

The Rock Show“”Blink 182″”from the album “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket”

I Fought the Law (Live)””The Clash””from the album “The Clash:  Live at Shea Stadium”

Batman Theme“”The Jam””from the album “In the City”

Communication Breakdown“”Led Zeppelin””from the album “Led Zeppelin”

The Real Me“”The Who””from the album “Quadrophenia”

Rock Around the Clock“”Ten Pole Tudor””from the album “The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle”

Of course there are many, many others.  But I offer these few picks-to-click to perhaps start a little discussion and get some musical ideas for my next indoor shopping spree at the V and Dime.

A-Merckx

Jeff in Big D

Just another middle-aged cycling twatwaffle. Raced road, track, and a little cyclo-cross from 1985-1990. Currently ride 250km+ per week (in my mind). The older I get, the better I was.

View Comments

  • Whooo hooo! Finally got the riding with no hands thing cracked on the rollers! Thought you should all know.

    Next, removing and neatly folding a gillet. Or maybe I'll go for the classiest move of them all, the Petachi. Remove of shoe covers and hand to trusted domestique.

  • @Chris

    Whooo hooo! Finally got the riding with no hands thing cracked on the rollers! Thought you should all know.

    Next, removing and neatly folding a gillet. Or maybe I'll go for the classiest move of them all, the Petachi. Remove of shoe covers and hand to trusted domestique.

    Well done!

    I have not used my rollers for a few months now.  Wonder if I can even stay upright on them anymore.  I'm sure that sometime this month I will be back on them with the extreme heat and my work schedule driving me inside at least once or twice.

  • @snoov Neatly folded not rolled.

    @mcsqueak My wife travels a lot with work and with three velonippers it's the rollers or nothing for mid week riding when ever she's away. I suppose I could put them in the garden but November seems to have come to the UK early.

  • @Chris

    Similar boat for me -- by the time I see the wee ones in the evening it's too late to ride outside, so rollers with sufferfest during the week.  The fact that I do this 1-2x per week seems to indicate I actually enjoy it -- otherwise it wouldn't happen.  Although this time of year I get an occasional 6 am ride in during the week as it's light enough to be out riding.

  • @Chris

    Ah yeah, that's understandable. You can't just lock 'em up and go for a ride without someone calling Child Protective Services".

    Or you could kidnap a few neighbor kids and do this (holy god that seems like a cluster-f):

  • @Nate I'm trying to get three sessions in a week at the moment to get fit for my holiday - I've not ridden as much as I would have like since Roubaix. Takes a bit of motivation. I also try to get out in the morning when my wife is around but it's a 5am alarm to give me an hours ride, shower and get out of the house in time to make the train to work. I'm not averse to Rule 9 riding but I do struggle at that time of the morning if it's wet and this summer has been rotten.

    HHNF last night. Local Hero tonight. Downward Spiral on Friday.

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