If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d’Huez.
But such whimsy is not for every day. Occasionally, we find ourselves faced with the prospect of an hour of solitude upon the wind trainer or rollers, where our sport is transformed from a glorious experience of powering ourselves along with only Nature for company to one where a ride of 30 minutes is barely tolerable, 45 seems like a lifetime wasted, and 60 minutes is more than most of us can even consider enduring. 60 minutes on the trainer at a leisurely pace or a 4 and a half hour death march up a barren, heat-riddled climb? I’ll take the 4 and half hours every time, thank you very much.
We all have to do it, and there are even some redeeming qualities to be had. You get better at Rule #5, for one. You develop a more magnificent stroke, for another. Whatever the redeeming qualities, we all have our way of coping. Jeff in PetroMetro returns with his view on how to make it suck just a little bit less.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
Either due to life-threatening weather or poor scheduling of life’s lesser priorities (see Rule #11), we Velominati spend a little time each year riding indoors. Whether one enjoys a ride on rollers or a trainer, and no matter if one methodically spins (as all good recovery ride specialists do), grinds out intervals, or practices ways to improve one’s magnificent stroke (scrape the mud off your shoes, scrape the mud off your shoes…), death-by-boredom is always a possibility. I’m not one to go for videos, or read books, or hook up to a computer. Call me old fashioned. I like to meditate on the V with only the voices inside my head screaming for mercy from the pain of a complete lactic acid meltdown.
Or, sometimes I like a little music.
Back in the Dark Ages, I used the yellow (sweatproof) Sony Walkman to play my favorite homemade training cassette tapes. But in our modern days of inexpensive digital storage, and with the brilliant invention of the “shuffle” command on my iPod Nano, I have some seven hours of musical motivation to keep my indoor sessions lively and loud.
I thought I might start a little conversation regarding favorite training tunes. Now, I know ALL of my fellow Velominati strictly adhere to Rule #62 when riding outside. And of course, we prefer strict adherence to Rule #9, but, as I stated above, shit happens.
While I have eclectic taste, I don’t fancy Al Green, Buck Owens, or Duke Ellington when loving a Rule #5 beatdown. No. I tack to the loud and fast. My preferences are punk and “classic rock”. (It was just rock when I first heard it.) So here’s a little flavor of my indoor training selection, in no particular order.
Hate to Say I Told You So“”The Hives””from the album “Your New Favourite Band”
Tick Tick Boom“”The Hives””from the album “The Black and White Album”
American Idiot“”Green Day””from the album “American Idiot”
The Rock Show“”Blink 182″”from the album “Take Off Your Pants and Jacket”
I Fought the Law (Live)””The Clash””from the album “The Clash: Live at Shea Stadium”
Batman Theme“”The Jam””from the album “In the City”
Communication Breakdown“”Led Zeppelin””from the album “Led Zeppelin”
The Real Me“”The Who””from the album “Quadrophenia”
Rock Around the Clock“”Ten Pole Tudor””from the album “The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle”
Of course there are many, many others. But I offer these few picks-to-click to perhaps start a little discussion and get some musical ideas for my next indoor shopping spree at the V and Dime.
A-Merckx
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View Comments
@xyxax
Yeah. Quadrophenia was a staple in my high school diet (which consisted of pretty much everything The Who ever recorded). I used to listen to The Real Me before soccer matches, tennis tournaments, and then bike races. I love the anger and I totally identified with Jimmy. I still want a GS scooter with about 100 rearview mirrors. I'm a mod at heart. Hated to see fellow mod, Wiggo, gone so early from the Tour this year.
@Marcus
But I don't know anyone who drinks it either, despite it being on every grocery store shelf. It's a bit more rare to see it served in a pub.
I propose, as part of the debt ceiling clusterfuck bill of 2011, we sell back all our Fosters to Australia at low-low rate of $0.50 USD/can. Australia can have a piece of their history back, and we can bring in some much-needed revenues to help lower our debts.
(Seriously though, interesting to know that. Someday I'll actually visit your fine country learn this stuff for myself.)
Awesome selection Jeff.
While I must agree with Collin and the scrotal hair plucking (makes my fucking eyes water just thinking about it), indoor riding is sometimes a necessary evil.
For mine: Rose Tattoo is brilliant to plug in and zone out.
We Can't Be Beaten from their 1982 album Scarred for Life - now that rocks when smacking down intervals.
Also, nice call on the Blink - although What's my Age Again and All the Small Things from Enemea of the State really make them rollers hum!
@Marcus
As both a Cowboys fan (born and raised in Dallas) and a Cowboys cheerleaders fan, I'm excited she'll be here for the season. You know, they put out an annual swimsuit calendar. Mmmm, mmmm, good.
@mattb
Thanks! In fact, the Blink songs you listed are on my iPod training selection. I just put a few songs in the article as a random sample of what I've been listening to. I'm getting some great songs to add to the selection from everyone's posts. Very cool.
@mcsqueak
If you wanna come, you should arrive on Friday week - our Premier (like a Governor) just announced that Cuddles is coming to town and they are shutting down Melbourne's main thoroughfare into the CBD at midday for a bike ride and parade.
How about that for recognition of our fringe sport?
I watch bike races when I'm on my trainer. A mate and I recently went halves in a bulk lot of 240 DVDs of races from the late 80's (though predominantly TdF's in the last fifteen years), and they are giving me plenty to be going on with. Without one, I struggle to last 45 minutes. With one, I can go for a couple of hours. (Fnarr fnarr.)
As to musical accommpaniment, I tend not to go there. But when I do, it tends more to the loud and fast than the trippy, contemplative, intricate or uplifting - i.e. classical, jazz and country collections are ignored, in favour of the likes of Love (The Cult), Second Helping (Lynyrd Skynyrd) and The General Electric (Shihad). (This last is one of my favourite loud albums - and not just because they're a Kiwi band who (I think) started off in Wellington, though doubtless that contributed in no small measure to their success.)
@Marcus Does that mean she's gonna have to change her name to "Debbie"? Should she check with JiPM?
@mcsqueak
I would but I won't let me lift more than 5lbs. making it a real annoyance to my wife to set up my trainer for me. ;)
@michael
Far out - I would need to get someone to hold it every time i needed to piss.
@mcsqueak
Yeah no offence mate, but there is a good reason we ship it all overseas - it is a prick of a drop!
Most Aussies would give 5 cents for a can (USD or AUD).
Keep it and fertilise your lemon trees!