Categories: In Memoriam

In Memoriam: Unsafe Headgear

I appreciate my helmet. I treat it with respect. I never leave for a ride without it. I replace it after a crash or even after helplessly watching it bound down the stairwell like some kind of deformed styrofoam slinky-dink after allowing it to slip from my grasp. (This activity also typically involves some assertions questioning what it does in its spare time, its origins of birth, and things of that nature.) Community member @chaz also recently suggested that, in accordance with motorcycle tradition, we ceremoniously cut the strap on the helmet and hang it in the VVorkshop in deference to the purpose it served us.

Suffice to say, I’m grateful for the advances technology offers us when it comes to protective headgear, because staying alive is in alignment with my strategy. But progress is the slayer of ritual and tradition, and I can’t help but look back longingly to the days when helmets were rarely worn and if they were, they consisted of thin strips of leather that, assuming it stayed on, would do little more than keep your cranium from coming apart after cracking it to bits on a cobblestone or some such object.

The hairnet was the coolest cranial accouterment ever designed, with the insulated cycling cap that fit over it being a close second. The cycling cap on its own was, of course, also a class piece of kit to be worn forwards, sideways, or backwards – made cooler only by perching a set of cycling-specific shades on top of it. A helmetless head saw hair slicked back by the wind as a byproduct of the V as riders raised their arms in triumph over the finish line. The bare noggin on the high mountain passes was a beacon of Purified Awesome, allowing us to see in all their glory the suffering faces of the riders as they moved sur la plaque over the summit.

Take a moment, fellow Velominati, to honor the Useless Headgear of our past.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Headgear/”]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Minion says:

Dec 19 2011 at 12:11 am

Have a nice day.
Oli says:

Dec 19 2011 at 12:56 am

@gaswepass
Wear a helmet in your car then.

Ok, ok, I'll stop now...
mouse says:

Dec 19 2011 at 1:39 am

@Minion

@ChrisO

Gentlemen. This is my sole contribution to the helmet debate;

This image has a strange effect on my helmet...
Harminator says:

Dec 19 2011 at 1:58 am

@ChrisO

@Minion

@ChrisO
It was largely about hairnets till you lobbed your post in. Pull your head in, it sounds like you've had this coversation before and THIS IS NOT THE PLACE to make your point.

You know what you can do with your head Minion... except it will never fit up there with a helmet on.

Is this the voice of experience speaking? At least it would provide one explanation for the "non believers".
mouse says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:04 am

@rhys
Yeah, those Yelkfos work great.
Chris says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:33 am

@Otoman

Thanks for telling me why I should wear a helmet, you've obviously read my post on the subject and worked out that I had some doubts about their effectiveness. Without your diktat it's unlikely that I would've been able to work it out for myself.

@Otoman

You wear it b/c you understand that arguments about seeing a study once that drivers are more careful with helmetless riders is complete wishful thinking at best.

As much as I enjoy this site, I've always felt that it's a bit too loosely moderated and featured too much free discussion and personal opinion. I'm relieved that you've come along to tell me what is scientific fact and what is piffle without including long winded explanations.

I'm going to hazard a guess that you re American, based on my observation that most people on here are and your mention of health insurance plans. Read a few of the articles and it becomes quite clear that cycling happens in other countries too. Look even more closely and you might notice that @ChrisO is not American and lives in another country. As such it's unlikely that he has any impact on your insurance. In more general terms, what impact do helmet-less riders have on health insurance? Fucking minimal would be my guess.
Chris says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:36 am

@mouse

If ever there was a time to say it, NIPPLE LUBE!

Let's move on.
Oli says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:36 am

@Chris

...too much free discussion and personal opinion.

That can't be right, surely?!
Chris says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:47 am

@Oli

Sorry but until @frank includes an "Internet Sarcasm" button next to "Bold" and "Italic" there's always going to be risk that people will go away with a warm fuzzy feeling thinking that I've just agreed with them.
Oli says:

Dec 19 2011 at 2:49 am

It's hard to laugh without emoticons too.