Categories: In Memoriam

In Memoriam: Unsafe Headgear

I appreciate my helmet. I treat it with respect. I never leave for a ride without it. I replace it after a crash or even after helplessly watching it bound down the stairwell like some kind of deformed styrofoam slinky-dink after allowing it to slip from my grasp. (This activity also typically involves some assertions questioning what it does in its spare time, its origins of birth, and things of that nature.) Community member @chaz also recently suggested that, in accordance with motorcycle tradition, we ceremoniously cut the strap on the helmet and hang it in the VVorkshop in deference to the purpose it served us.

Suffice to say, I’m grateful for the advances technology offers us when it comes to protective headgear, because staying alive is in alignment with my strategy. But progress is the slayer of ritual and tradition, and I can’t help but look back longingly to the days when helmets were rarely worn and if they were, they consisted of thin strips of leather that, assuming it stayed on, would do little more than keep your cranium from coming apart after cracking it to bits on a cobblestone or some such object.

The hairnet was the coolest cranial accouterment ever designed, with the insulated cycling cap that fit over it being a close second. The cycling cap on its own was, of course, also a class piece of kit to be worn forwards, sideways, or backwards – made cooler only by perching a set of cycling-specific shades on top of it. A helmetless head saw hair slicked back by the wind as a byproduct of the V as riders raised their arms in triumph over the finish line. The bare noggin on the high mountain passes was a beacon of Purified Awesome, allowing us to see in all their glory the suffering faces of the riders as they moved sur la plaque over the summit.

Take a moment, fellow Velominati, to honor the Useless Headgear of our past.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Headgear/”]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

minion says:

Dec 20 2011 at 8:45 pm

@Marcus

Lighten up everybody. I hate to admit it, but Minion is right. >

Fucken, what? Did it just get a little weird round here or what?

Just to break the tension
scaler911 says:

Dec 20 2011 at 9:19 pm

@Marcus

@frank
Look mum, no helmet!

Ya, but it's a fucking Trek.
minion says:

Dec 20 2011 at 9:31 pm

@scaler911
You do know that's a pic of Lance, with Vic Pendleton's face photoshopped on right?
mouse says:

Dec 21 2011 at 12:27 am

@frank

On the subject of posting pics of women, here are some worthwhile shots. Note they're both wearing clothes, and note that they're way more badass than the other women posted recently.

Hmm, yeah. True enough.

@Oli
Take that!

@gaswepass
I owe you one.
wiscot says:

Dec 21 2011 at 5:53 am

@scaler911

@Marcus

@frank
Look mum, no helmet!

Ya, but it's a fucking Trek.

The bike looks way too small for her and those tires have gotta be some kind of rule violation too.
scaler911 says:

Dec 21 2011 at 7:08 am

@wiscot
Yes. But that said, I'd follow that blue tyre around for a K or 2.
Dan_R says:

Dec 23 2011 at 6:25 pm

Could wheel suck for a few Ks too
Vin'cenza says:

Mar 27 2012 at 10:44 am

@ChrisO

Oh God, helmets - the bike forum equivalent of Godwin's law.

I'm genuinely sorry this has come up, so I'm just going to not come here for the next few days otherwise I will be tempted to argue with all the 'believers'.

Suffice to say I do not wear a helmet.

There is little or no actual evidence of their benefit as a matter of statistics.

Check the actual standard your helmet is tested to and see if it matches your riding. And the faster you ride the less effect - that's physics.

There is evidence of their harm in preventing cycling, which has greater effect on overall safety.

They portray cycling as a dangerous activity and allow it to be marginalised.

You wear them if you like. I'm not stopping you and I'm not commenting on your choice or what it says about you.

But I really genuinely object to portraying people like me who make a different choice, especially one they have given some thought to, as stupid, ignorant and reckless.

Whoever suggested making a Rule... the day that happens is the day I stop being a Velominati.

See you in a few days.

I would prefer to review your dissertation on riding 'unhelmeted' (thanx for the term Frank) if you have it readily available. This rant began by crying out "Oh, God... ahh... no helmets." and God most likely discerns, "and he still knows not what he does." If you could ride (starting now) for one year wearing a helmet, you then would have gained some merit. Otherwise, you are in a sense unchurched.
Vin'cenza says:

Mar 27 2012 at 11:17 am

Made it thru entirely -- The Great Helmet War !! But I made an assumption that your battle was waged over which helmet performed best, cost most or least, and looked overly (Billy Crystal) FAN-TAS-TIC !! Of course the Velominati found other veins thru the discussion -- bar setups, models, science, and iPhones ?? -- everything that the Velominati usually like to discuss here. And all that you chose to discuss here became more useful than any discussion on whether to wear a helmet -- or not (No Shakespeare) !! So let's agree to wage another World Helmet War conflict over whatever a helmet should be and should not be. Not no helmet at all !! (South speak)
snoov says:

Mar 27 2012 at 11:26 am

@Vin'cenza
As you say, it should assist you in looking fantastic, end of story.