Categories: In Memoriam

In Memoriam: Unsafe Headgear

I appreciate my helmet. I treat it with respect. I never leave for a ride without it. I replace it after a crash or even after helplessly watching it bound down the stairwell like some kind of deformed styrofoam slinky-dink after allowing it to slip from my grasp. (This activity also typically involves some assertions questioning what it does in its spare time, its origins of birth, and things of that nature.) Community member @chaz also recently suggested that, in accordance with motorcycle tradition, we ceremoniously cut the strap on the helmet and hang it in the VVorkshop in deference to the purpose it served us.

Suffice to say, I’m grateful for the advances technology offers us when it comes to protective headgear, because staying alive is in alignment with my strategy. But progress is the slayer of ritual and tradition, and I can’t help but look back longingly to the days when helmets were rarely worn and if they were, they consisted of thin strips of leather that, assuming it stayed on, would do little more than keep your cranium from coming apart after cracking it to bits on a cobblestone or some such object.

The hairnet was the coolest cranial accouterment ever designed, with the insulated cycling cap that fit over it being a close second. The cycling cap on its own was, of course, also a class piece of kit to be worn forwards, sideways, or backwards – made cooler only by perching a set of cycling-specific shades on top of it. A helmetless head saw hair slicked back by the wind as a byproduct of the V as riders raised their arms in triumph over the finish line. The bare noggin on the high mountain passes was a beacon of Purified Awesome, allowing us to see in all their glory the suffering faces of the riders as they moved sur la plaque over the summit.

Take a moment, fellow Velominati, to honor the Useless Headgear of our past.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Headgear/”]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @gaswepass

    2nd position rider in photo 12 has some funny handlebars- is that (display of total ignorance here) Lemond? those handlebars (knee bashers, courtesy of scott!) I don't think lasted very long. but some cool campy brakes to be sure.

    Dude, that's Greg LeMan and those are the Scott Drop-Ins. I loved those things. I had a pair and you've never ridden a flexier set of handlebars in your life. Just a few guys rolled with them, and I was one of 'em.

    I could never understand how Greg let someone wrap his bars the way they did, with the cable coming out of the left side before the tape was done being wrapped.

  • Great photos too I might add. I've had a bad crash with no helmet, OTB face first and front teeth completely removed. The dentist said they were pretty strong (came out in one piece) and pushed them back in with no anaesthetic and covered them and the ones to the side with loads of temporary glue. My mum had called him and he told her he'd meet us at his surgery and see what he could do to save them. My body rejected them after a couple of years and he whipped them out again. Only a full face helmet would have helped though I reckon but I wouldn't go out training without one now.

    Aside: Evidently in days gone by if rich person lost a tooth they'd sometimes replace by taking it from the mouth of a slave or servant.

  • @snoov

    Is that Indurain shifting partir la plaque?

    Damn straight, he is.

    @wiscot

    @gaswepass
    Yup, that's Lemond in the 1990 tour, riding Scott drop-in bars and eating a pain sandwich being offered by Erik Breukink.

    Actually, that looks like Luz Ardiden, near the base. They've just caught Cappuccino and are hitting the steeps. You can see Lejarreta in the back there. In a moment, he'll move to their right and attack. LeMond goes with and effectively wins the Tour.

  • @frank

    Actually, that looks like Luz Ardiden, near the base. They've just caught Cappuccino and are hitting the steeps. You can see Lejarreta in the back there. In a moment, he'll move to their right and attack. LeMond goes with and effectively wins the Tour.

    Bzz. Wrong. I take it back. That's not Lajarreta. But I think its still the very base of the climb. By the time the above video hits, Breukink has already been shelled.

    And, it was Para who attacked, not Lajarreta.

    @snoov
    Dude.

  • @Oli

    @frankAnd it was Indurain who won the stage, with LeMond in second.

    Absolutely. He sucked Lemond's wheel the WHOLE F'king way and then dropped him within the last 500 meters. Suppose it was not a big deal as LeMan really wanted the time, not necessarily the stage, but such poor form, in my humble opinion (but then again, was never much of a Big Mig fan anyways).

  • @eightzero

    Il Pirate: Best. Headgear. Evar.

    And you know what? No one could wear that head gear but Il Pirata and pull it off. Man was beautiful on the bike (a mess off of it, but beautiful on it).

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