Categories: In Memoriam

In Memoriam: Unsafe Headgear

I appreciate my helmet. I treat it with respect. I never leave for a ride without it. I replace it after a crash or even after helplessly watching it bound down the stairwell like some kind of deformed styrofoam slinky-dink after allowing it to slip from my grasp. (This activity also typically involves some assertions questioning what it does in its spare time, its origins of birth, and things of that nature.) Community member @chaz also recently suggested that, in accordance with motorcycle tradition, we ceremoniously cut the strap on the helmet and hang it in the VVorkshop in deference to the purpose it served us.

Suffice to say, I’m grateful for the advances technology offers us when it comes to protective headgear, because staying alive is in alignment with my strategy. But progress is the slayer of ritual and tradition, and I can’t help but look back longingly to the days when helmets were rarely worn and if they were, they consisted of thin strips of leather that, assuming it stayed on, would do little more than keep your cranium from coming apart after cracking it to bits on a cobblestone or some such object.

The hairnet was the coolest cranial accouterment ever designed, with the insulated cycling cap that fit over it being a close second. The cycling cap on its own was, of course, also a class piece of kit to be worn forwards, sideways, or backwards – made cooler only by perching a set of cycling-specific shades on top of it. A helmetless head saw hair slicked back by the wind as a byproduct of the V as riders raised their arms in triumph over the finish line. The bare noggin on the high mountain passes was a beacon of Purified Awesome, allowing us to see in all their glory the suffering faces of the riders as they moved sur la plaque over the summit.

Take a moment, fellow Velominati, to honor the Useless Headgear of our past.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Headgear/”]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @snoov

    @frank
    I love Obree. He is a genius - I see that he's just released his training manual: "The Obree Way". I think I've left it too late to expect it for Christmas but it might be the very thing to transform me into a lean grimpeur in the new year. I shall read it whilst drinking beer and eating pies.

  • After making that post about Obree I picked up Flying Scotsman The Graeme Obree Story just to read the Moser foreword. Apart from stopping for food, although I had it in my hand while cooking, I haven't been able to put it down yet! Unbelievable man, dare I say Hardman!

  • @frank

    @ChrisO Really? Really? I just had a big off... overlapping wheels at 50kmh and Boom! Roadslave... Tarmac. Tarmac... Roadslave. Introductions a little too brief for my liking. I have road rash all over my face, knees, elbows, and MY HELMET IS CRACKED IN TWO. Yes, my head was what my body saw fit to use as a brake. I never read the health and safety spiel, I have no idea what crash test limit my helmet is tested to, but I know two things: 1. I'm writing this post right now (which I wouldn't've been had I not been wearing a helmet); and 2. I have exactly the same helmet as the one that cracked in two as my new helmet... because I know it works. Don't understand why you'd never wear one. No matter what the physics says. If I've misunderstood your post, apologies, but really? really?

  • @frank

    @rhys


    The key to getting people to wear helmets is to buy them a Lazer with the Rollsys adjustment. When I did my best astro-boy impersonation after being T-boned by a taxi and landed on my face, mine didn't move a millimeter. I happily bought another one as you might imagine.I don't get mad when I see others without helmets. Not my head really.

    +1 - I had a Lazer and loved it. My only issue with it was it wouldn't take my shades in the helmet vents. Show stopper for me. Super comfortable, though. Glad you're OK.

    Yup just got a Lazer 02 for my birthday & while it is as comfortable as all get out I'm struggling for a good spot for my Radars to sit. There is one pair of vents that nearly works but it also feels like I'm stretching the arms too much.

  • Whilst the photo quality is a little poor, the two images below are the reason I always wear a helmet. January 2004 - went over the high side of my Baum Espresso at 95kph (turns out the bike gets speed wobbles at 94kph - a better rider might have recovered it, but a better rider wasn't on board).

    I was immediately knocked out, mangled my hands (including grinding of the top of my middle finger), busted a collarbone and lost much skin on legs, arms, back, etc. Not a mark on my head or face.

    The Baum survived!

    No doubt good luck was heavily in play. Leaving aside the probability that the helmet saved me from potential brain damage, I KNOW that if it was my head making contact with the road instead of my helmet - well there would have been lots more very important bits of me left on the road...

    But each to their own in the world of helmet choice...

  • @Marcus
    Wow. Looks like you wore it to a house fire!

    Hey ChrisO...you can come back now. No one's calling you reckless, stupid or ignorant. Sure, the weight of opinion is against you but the reaction seems to be surprise rather than scorn.

    But why? Helmets are comfortable, look cool and might help your head in a crash? What's the downside?

    We like you, ChrisO, and we like your brain.

    And if you reconsider, we'll still respect you (in the morning...).

  • @ChrisO

    Suffice to say I do not wear a helmet.

    Based on the above, presuming the helmeted rider in your avatar isn't you, who is it? He looks PRO.

  • @Marcus

    @ChrisO

    Suffice to say I do not wear a helmet.

    Based on the above, presuming the helmeted rider in your avatar isn't you, who is it? He looks PRO.

    Speaking of avatars, I'll be darned (Landised?) if I can figure out how to set a custom pic as my avatar on the site. Do I need to hack into the LNDD computers or something?

1 6 7 8 9 10 18
Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago