Cold Fact
Wellington isn’t renown for its great summers; a mate is always quick to remind me that if the weather was perfect all the time, everyone would want to live here and we’d be overrun by Aucklanders (just like Aussies but not quite dumb enough to live in Canberra). As our summer goes into its last death throes of amazingly calm, sunny, cloudless days, the arm warmers and undershirt have only just emerged from their longest hibernation ever. And I probably won’t need them for tomorrow’s ride either.
Come next Monday, however, I’ll be on the other side of the world and months of unzipped jerseys and SPF30 will be but a memory; a cold, wet, distant memory. And I have to say I’m almost looking forward to it with a strange enthusiasm and a hint of romanticism. Almost. No amount of fitness gleaned from training in perfect weather can prepare one for the rigours of a Belgian spring.
We know how the body will react when it is pulled from its warm cocoon and plunged into an icy bath. How the mind will handle it is a bigger concern. We can prepare ourselves physically to the nth degree, but if we’re mentally inept then the sag wagon becomes a likely option. At which point something deep inside takes over, thought processes return to normal and the mere thought of getting off the bike is quickly and methodically banished. Not here, not now.
Let the hardmen be hardmen, let it rain and blow and the cobbles turn to mud when they grace these roads. But Merckx have mercy on a fair-weather soul, even if only for a few selected days. Let our Flandrian Best suffice and our tubulars have sure grip on dry stones. Failing that, at least keep us upright and we will drink a toast to you night after night.
Bring it on.
It’s not too late to book a spot on the Keepers Tour 2013 and make your own history.
I’d reckon that there will be great tales from this years addition of KT. Better double up on the base layers.
Best of legs!
Oh, dear God, I’m getting a little anxious for you all, but given you are all daft fuckers, I’m sure you will be alright….
Oh dear God, I don’t know what to say……
@scaler911
Indeed! I remember it being rather dry last year…
Nice one Brett, I heartily cheer a man who can insult his own countrymen, we need more of that here like saying those who are stoopid enough to live in L.A. deserve the Oscars and the Fault. But having said that it must be like being from 2 nations when your made up of 2 islands?
As to the keepers tour at least you have had some sort of summer to get ready… If I pulled the trigger now my only front of the group would be at the pub.
As I said last year soo jealous and maybe someday…
Brett et al, have a blast.
Did someone mention the right amount of stupid?
Maybe you’ll ride faster if you just stay in your summer kit.
Check out how little Oscar Gatto needed to wear to win Dwars door Vlaanderen yesterday, and how much unnecessary kit weight all the losers are carrying.
And best wishes to Alex, William, Genevieve and all the 2013 KT attendees. I hope you have a safe and enjoyable tour.
I’ll see you next year, wherever the KT is!!
@Bianchi Denti
That is a quality victory salute!
While we’re on crappy weather, it’s been bloody awful in WI this year. Last year I had fresh tan lines by now. Today, in the second half of March we’re still in the teens with near zero wind chills. Not to mention ice and crap on the roads. I checked #3 yesterday and found I had a rear flat from Sunday. Thank Merckx it didn’t happen on the day as the wind chills on Sunday were in the low teens and switching out tubes would have been a real bugger.
Do you call yourself ‘Brett’ or ‘Britt’?
@Franco
He calls himself “Breet”. Us kiwis call him “Britt” or “Brutt”.
@Rob
Brett’s not a fucking New Zealander he’s from the Criminal Isles to the west. As for insulting his own countrymen, well he did leave Australia to live in Enn Zud, so I guess that counts.
I watched Dwars this morning and was really amazed to see Gatto wearing bare arms and legs. Wow! Great ride for him. Too bad for Tommy V, but can’t keep a hardman down.
Here’s to hoping the Keepers’ Tour reports and pics will pick me up. I’ve lost my mojo. My ass is still Jan sized. Shitte weather here for months, only now getting light enough to ride after the hard, hard labour put in from 8-5 like a North Korean prison camper.
But if I was a retired wall street investment banker, I could afford Flandrian Best, and not need to labour under the lash of a Mr. Kim wannabe.
Keep the reports coming, mates.
Yeah, Gatto was dressed like a naked cat today, huh? It’s always surprising to me to see how varied the clothing is amongst the riders in the same race. Some of the dudes, the ones with rain jackets, leg warmers, neck warmers, hats…it’s almost like an indication they won’t win, or aren’t even going to try, when they emerge from the team bus dressed like a polar explorer.
Awesome lead photo! Reminds me of a church on a hilltop in Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic. Walked up there with my VMH & had a nice look over the city/town.
Hmm, snow in Milan, rain & wind in Flanders…the KT might get the weather it deserves this year!
Britt, I remember the view from the following car, KT 2012, Ronde ride. Hard sleet bouncing off your yellow Vlaanderen helmet cover. You could not have been happier.
Like Ron says March snow in Italy is not a good indicator for better weather in Flanders. Bring your wool De Feet gear. Go crazy.
Where there’s no sense, there’s no feeling…
@Tobin
There’s a penis joke in there somewhere. I just can’t find it……
-Dinan
Enjoy KT 2013 looking forward to the report. All Weather is good weather!
Four words em·bro·ca·tion
Have a great KT2013! Looking forward to the stories that will become legend!
Velominati News Flash! Sighting of Alien Velominati on Maui! Two pasty white Canadians, Phil and Scott are here, riding their brains out. Summit, check, West Maui, check, check, they are covering the island in V-style. That’s the way to ride.
Enjoy Brett! Love to be there, but just can’t pull m’self away from my 3.9 earthquakes, 4wd and trim soy decaf mochiatto latte espresso..
@Gianni
Nice! Are you pacing them on a scooter, continuously spraying them down with SPF100 sunblock?
@mcsqueak
Neither, they are self-motivated. They seem to know where to go. My wife saw them as she was driving into town and was so surprised to see men in v-kits that she had to stop find out more information. There are only 5 v-kit owners on Maui, total, me and wife included so to see another pair is big news.
@sthilzy
Good call, sthilzy! Absolutely love the embrocation stuff from Mad Alchemy. In the cold it’s either the Mellow or the Gentleman’s Blend. All other times I slather on the summer stuff (non-warming).
-Dinan
Here are a couple of pics from my neck of the woods today. What a strange winter, although we old timers recall this being normal. Last year by this time I was riding in summer kit and had 1500k on my saddle outside prepping for KT. KT is going to be awesome this year as well. The Pavé boys and Genevieve do not disappoint. All the best to you sods.
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What does the expression, “prepare ourselves physically to the nth degree” try to convey. Is the convention to assume a high value for n? But if n is zero and you prepare to that degree, you’ve not prepared at all.
Or, are we talking degrees of a sphere or ciricle? If so, depending on your goal, is the assumption that you try to get n to be as close to 180 as possible?
I’m so confused.
@Gianni
Now I need to pony up for a full-on V kit, on the off chance some random VMH will pull me over and chat me up.
@frank
Frank, I admire how you take nothing for granite.
@Dinan
@Dinan
That’s what she said?
@frank
My brain now hurts and my ears are bleeding
@moondance
That is but one of the many benefits of having the full v-kit.
Chicks will dig you.
Cars will respect you
You will look ‘core.
Why would you want to look otherwise?
In Belgium, even tandems are cool:
@Tobin
Ba boom…
@frank
Correct.
To the nth = to the utmost or extreme degree :)
@Gianni
Fucking hell! FANTASTIC!!
@PeakInTwoYears
+1 Badge to you, given that the KT will be riding granite cobbles in a week!
@frank
Go fucking get some, you insane bastiges. I am all envy.
@scaler911
Try again:
@freddy
just saw the documentary. good stuff. Do we have any south africans who can vouch for the album being that important in the day?
Keep it on the crown, fucktards. (Jealous)
So while you prepare for northern Europe I will be racing this weekend in Cyprus.
Having survived the four days of the Tour of Sharjah our team is now doing the Tour of Cyprus.
I’m assured it is a much lower-level event although still quite competitive – like a cyclosportive in France with most people doing it for the ride, but a decent bunch racing it over timed sections. What I didn’t realise is that ALL the time sections are uphill…
Anyway I’m feeling as good as I could about it, even the climbing.
My weight is down to 78-79kg, from the 85-86kg I was carrying last year at the KT and in Sharjah and I’ve had a good and uninterrupted block of training. Without a radical lifestyle change I don’t think I could have done anymore.
I will be nowhere near the overall classification, even in my age group, but we are hopeful of doing well in the team classification which is based on best three results.
I’m not sure what access I’ll have over the weekend (the race is Sat to Mon) but will post some pics and a report when I’m back, to whet the appetite for the KT.
Love this site. Living here in Jakarta its hard to even imagine what cold feels like any more. To get chilled here you have to go to the cinema. I confess to breaking Rule #7 when its 38 degrees and humidity is 90%.
@ChrisO Great time to be visiting Cyprus! Take lots of hard currency with you and the worlds your oyster. Either that or you’ll be mugged by the locals and expat residents in the peloton who haven’t been able to use an ATM for a week.
Long range forecast suggests it might be a little warmer but rain looks more than likely.
Walter says Rule #9, fucktard, you’re waterproof.
@Chris
Totally – it’ll be like visiting Soviet Russia with US dollars. I’ve been trying to think what I might want from Cyprus but since I don’t like Ouzo…
I’m hoping there might be some tall local who will trade me his Pinarello with Enve SES 3.4 if I tuck a few Euros down his bib shorts.