The Kapelmuur in January. Photo thenews.com

Wellington isn’t renown for its great summers; a mate is always quick to remind me that if the weather was perfect all the time, everyone would want to live here and we’d be overrun by Aucklanders (just like Aussies but not quite dumb enough to live in Canberra). As our summer goes into its last death throes of amazingly calm, sunny, cloudless days, the arm warmers and undershirt have only just emerged from their longest hibernation ever. And I probably won’t need them for tomorrow’s ride either.

Come next Monday, however, I’ll be on the other side of the world and months of unzipped jerseys and SPF30 will be but a memory; a cold, wet, distant memory. And I have to say I’m almost looking forward to it with a strange enthusiasm and a hint of romanticism. Almost. No amount of fitness gleaned from training in perfect weather can prepare one for the rigours of a Belgian spring.

We know how the body will react when it is pulled from its warm cocoon and plunged into an icy bath. How the mind will handle it is a bigger concern. We can prepare ourselves physically to the nth degree, but if we’re mentally inept then the sag wagon becomes a likely option. At which point something deep inside takes over, thought processes return to normal and the mere thought of getting off the bike is quickly and methodically banished. Not here, not now.

Let the hardmen be hardmen, let it rain and blow and the cobbles turn to mud when they grace these roads. But Merckx have mercy on a fair-weather soul, even if only for a few selected days. Let our Flandrian Best suffice and our tubulars have sure grip on dry stones. Failing that, at least keep us upright and we will drink a toast to you night after night.

Bring it on.

It’s not too late to book a spot on the Keepers Tour 2013 and make your own history.

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @ChrisO

    @Chris

    @ChrisO Great time to be visiting Cyprus! Take lots of hard currency with you and the worlds your oyster. Either that or you'll be mugged by the locals and expat residents in the peloton who haven't been able to use an ATM for a week.

    Totally - it'll be like visiting Soviet Russia with US dollars. I've been trying to think what I might want from Cyprus but since I don't like Ouzo...

    I'm hoping there might be some tall local who will trade me his Pinarello with Enve SES 3.4 if I tuck a few Euros down his bib shorts.

    It's a good thing you don't like Ouzo, combined with your recent weight loss, you'd be more likely to find a short, round, bearded lady who would let you tuck dollars down her pants.

  • @Chris

    Long range forecast suggests it might be a little warmer but rain looks more than likely.

    Walter says Rule #9, fucktard, you're waterproof.

    BTW this has got to be my favourite cycling photo. Everything about it is beyond words. It's just a shame about the crop. I'd love to find a copy of the original. Judging by the profile of the skyline this is a different crop of the same photo.

    Fuck me, it's going to be epic!  Not only the Keepers Tour but the Spring Classics!  Should be one hell of a Belgian Spring!

  • @gaswepass

    @freddy

    just saw the documentary. good stuff. Do we have any south africans who can vouch for the album being that important in the day?

    I wondered the same after watching the film. According to my girlfriend's South African dad, it was indeed. He wasn't quite interested in politics at the time, so he couldn't say if it indeed was a resistance thing, but he knew half the songs by heart after several decades...

  • @tessar

    @ChrisO Halloumi! The one place (other than Greece) where this heavenly cheese is actually affordable.

    Now that you mention it, the halloumi sitting in my fridge is from Cyprus, but I can't say I've ever thought it was expensive - we get it pretty easily and cheaply here. I always have some around. Maybe the Arabs are trying to starve you out.

    I do love it - grilled, on manaeesh flatbread with zataar spices. Cypriot food is mostly the same as Lebanese from what I can see.

  • @Buck Rogers

    Fuck me, it's going to be epic! Not only the Keepers Tour but the Spring Classics! Should be one hell of a Belgian Spring!

    It's KILLING me that I can't move until fall!  I would love to be there for the Classics this year!

  • @Sauterelle

    @Buck Rogers

    Fuck me, it's going to be epic! Not only the Keepers Tour but the Spring Classics! Should be one hell of a Belgian Spring!

    It's KILLING me that I can't move until fall! I would love to be there for the Classics this year!

    You and me and about 1,000 other cashed strapped Velominati!!!  But, it is a matter of priorities and I suppose I could sell a kid or two (hell, I have five) to get there if I REAAALLLYY wanted to.

  • Not sure where to post this so I will throw it up here (maybe we could have a permanent link at the top of the page for "Current Races" or something that is always open to remarks about stuff going on in the present not related to a thread?)

    http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/volta-ciclista-a-catalunya-2013/stage-4/results

    How awesome is this?!?!?!  Not only does Dan Martin win the stage on snowbanked roads and take the overall lead, Valverde abandons!  Now I truly never wish a crash on anyone, not even Piti, but at least they say he is not hurt that badly at all and should be fine. 

    I suppose it was all okay as he had so many blood bags available for immediate transfusion.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @Sauterelle

    @Buck Rogers

    Fuck me, it's going to be epic! Not only the Keepers Tour but the Spring Classics! Should be one hell of a Belgian Spring!

    It's KILLING me that I can't move until fall! I would love to be there for the Classics this year!

    You and me and about 1,000 other cashed strapped Velominati!!! But, it is a matter of priorities and I suppose I could sell a kid or two (hell, I have five) to get there if I REAAALLLYY wanted to.

    I need to unload my house then I will be moving to Belgium!  I'll be able to go on all the KT after that!

  • @wiscot

    @Bianchi Denti

    Maybe you'll ride faster if you just stay in your summer kit.

    Check out how little Oscar Gatto needed to wear to win Dwars door Vlaanderen yesterday, and how much unnecessary kit weight all the losers are carrying.

    That is a quality victory salute!

    While we're on crappy weather, it's been bloody awful in WI this year. Last year I had fresh tan lines by now. Today, in the second half of March we're still in the teens with near zero wind chills. Not to mention ice and crap on the roads. I checked #3 yesterday and found I had a rear flat from Sunday. Thank Merckx it didn't happen on the day as the wind chills on Sunday were in the low teens and switching out tubes would have been a real bugger.

    This is all I see when I look at this...

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