Museeuw wants to get muddy with us in April. Photo: Tim de Waele
It’s not difficult to understand that climate change, global warming, call it what you will, is real. If you’re still in denial about this fact then you are probably one or more of three things: ignorant, complicit or a complete moron. You can cite all the statistics you want, read the reports, or just stick your head out of the window and realise it’s fucking hot, but the only evidence for the environmentally aware Cyclist is this:
It hasn’t rained at Paris-Roubaix for thirteen years.
Not since The Lion soloed in from 40k’s out to take home his last cobblestone paperweight in 2002 has there been a proper wet Hell Of The North. The preceding year was even worse, or better depending on your perception of Rule #9 conditions and whether you take pleasure in others’ torment. I guess most of us here have a foot firmly in both camps, enthusiastically summoning the rain gods to take a piss on Northern France on the second Sunday in April. The resulting lack of precipitation only confirms that gods don’t exist, or don’t bloody listen.
In a final act of desperation, I’ll be buying some gumboots, Wellingtons, Alaskan sneakers when we hit Lille for Keepers Tour 15. Hopefully this will draw some moisture from the sky and add to the spectacle that will be Tommeke gunning for his 5th, Faboo trying to equal him, and Wiggins having a laugh. This has all the ingredients for an all-time classic Classic. Just add water.
*Why would you miss this opportunity to be part of history? Keepers Tour is the best value cobbled week tour available. Sign up now. Bring your Wellies.
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Frank writing about no flats on the cobbles in previous rides and all this talk of no rain... You guys are fucked.
Should be a hell of s time.
I have found that the more educated I have become, the more superstitious I have become (contrary to what should happen). Cycling is the worst in that department.
@Teocalli
Ah, but that's the beauty of Keepers Tour... once we pick you up, you won't be needing that again. Want to drink ten beers on the Kwaremont? No problem, we've got you covered.
Frank, I hope it's not as cold as last time then, you and Gianni may need to snuggle for warmth.
Well said. You only have to look back as far as stage 5 in the Tour last year to be reminded that a legendary day might be in the works anytime the riders and the rain hit the cobblestones at the same time. Nibali rode like a champion that day.
I don't doubt Wiggins is a strong and classy (not in the style dept, in the Department of Palmares) rider, I'm just thinking rollin' the dice last year vs. targeting this year is going to change his chances. But hey, ChrisO says Sir is above this chance thing...
And what is this car thing you lads are talking about washing? I only own bikes and have no time to waste cleaning other machines.
@Ron
If you're like me it's the wheeled thing you park outside your house to store all your unwanted junk in.
@ChrisO
Plus, his power figures are pretty much public domain, and they're no slouch. An FTP that's supposedly near 500W buys you a whole lot of luck.
The funny thing about probability theory is that Wiggins is just as likely to flat as the Faboonens, and just as likely to flat this year as he was likely to flat last year. It's not as if Wiggo wasn't a marked man last year - nobody in their right mind lets a TT specialist get away if they can help it.
Sometimes they can't.
@brett
@frank and @Gianni spooning, that's a whole other article right there, and one that's best not discussed while the kids are up. Three monkeys !
@brett
But will you supply frank with overshoes, gloves, caps, arm warmers...................
If the baby jesus loves us, and I know he does, it will rain. If it does, Wiggins and Fabs chances just went in the ditch. Neither have raced Roubaix in the wet. Advantage will go to Boom, Sep Vanmarcke and the bad ass Belgians.
Wiggins was right there last year, he has the motor but I'll be betting against him. That's just the way I am.
By my very rough guesstimation Paris Roubaix has been won by a rider almost certainly among the three pre-race favourites at least 60% of the time for the last 50 editions...
While Wiggins won't be among my top three pre-race favourites, Geraint Thomas or Ian Stannard must be enjoying their resultant anonymity. As perhaps will be the Sky masterplanners...