Categories: Keepers Tour

Keepers’ Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Update

It’s referred to as the Hell of the North not for the misery the race causes on its riders, but for the landscape the route carries the riders through. Terrible, unimaginable things have happend there. Napoleon’s troops marched those lands, falling by the thousands at the bayonet and cannonball. More recently, the First World War took place there, a war fought with something resembling modern weaponry but using something too closely matching classical battle-line tactics.

The kind of agony that escaped the bodies of the soldiers who died on those fields is the kind that seeps into the ground and hangs in the air for centuries; you feel it in the air even from a distance when you first disembark the plane at the airport.

For those of us who love the Northern classics, there is a special week when the greatest one-day races of the year are held, de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris-Roubaix. Both races are equally magical, for what Flanders lacks in the roughness of its cobblestones, it makes up for in the steepness of its muurs. Similarly, what Roubaix lacks in decisive climbs, it makes up for with the savage granite paving stones known as the pavé. Which is the tougher race? We intend to find out; join us for this magical week in Belgium and Northern France to ride the roads and watch the races first-hand.

I don’t think any of us dream of riding the cobbles of Northern Europe in the expectation that it will be enjoyable in a classical sense anymore so than any of us harbor the notion that resting your chin on a running jackhammer would provide rest for an invigorating nap. Quite the oposite, in fact; this is the type of experience that starts to become enjoyable only the moment you’ve climbed off your bike, and becomes more so with every day that passes after. But the memory will stay with you for ever, and the lessons you learn about yourself during such a physical challenge will strengthen your life and harden your character for all your remaining years.

I should think that those of us planning, hoping, or wishing to go on the Keepers’ Tour share a healthy degree of apprehension about climbing the steeps of the Kapelmuur or dashing down the Troueé l’Arenburg. Questions are creeping into our minds about frames, wheels, and handlebars, wondering how best to modify our bikes to endure the the roughest roads the Pros race on, even if there might be some difference in the speed with which we do so. But after having accomplished the feat, we’ll in some small way identify more viscerally with what the Pros experience when we watch them race the same roads on Race Day.

We have several package options available: the flagship fully accommodated, all-inclusive 9 day/9 night tour (2250€), full weekend tours with or without accommodation (500€ and 250€ respectively), as well as daily tours with or without accommodation (200€ and 100€ respectively). A full break down of pricing and booking options is available on the Keepers’ Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Event Page. Once booked and confirmed, we will coordinate directly to collect a down payment of 15%, with the balance due upon arrival in Lille, France. Everything is included in the packages: food, drinks, support car with spare wheels, Gent velodrome ride (if applicable), Cyfac bicycles for those not bringing their own (limited sizes and quantities available), energy food, and insurance. All-inclusive packages include accommodation; packages without accommodation are also available for those living in the area or wishing to look after their own lodgings. All packages, with or without accommodation, include dinner and drinks after each day’s ride.

Attendees of the full 9 day Keepers’ Tour will be greeted with a Velominati Musette stuffed with a commemorative V-Pint and V-Shirt. Given the abundance of Belgian beer, the V-Pint will be well used. We will also have a Velominati Flag to wave at the races. A Cogal welcoming all riders will also be arranged, details pending finalization of the itinerary. Also note that only attendees of the full Keepers’ Tour will be eligible to ride with Museeuw and to join the Merckx Factory Tour. Weekend and Daily Tour attendees will be eligible to buy the commemorative V-Pint directly.

We’ve made a few adjustments to our itinerary; confirmed are the ride with Lion of Flanders, Johan Museeuw (who is such a badass his last name even rhymes with the Flemish word for Lion, Johan Museeuw, de leeuw van Vlaanderen) and tour of the Eddy Merckx Factory. Updated (but still preliminary) itinerary, guided by Pavé Cycling Classics:

  • Friday March 30th: arrival in Lille. Drive to Gent for dinner & introductions at the cottage.
  • Saturday March 31th: Ride Paris-Roubaix course (at least 180km from St Quentin to Roubaix, full ride available to those who dare) – Visit of the Roubaix Vélodromes (both old and new).
  • Sunday April 1st: Rest or short ride around the cottage in the Flanders area (morning) – Watch the Tour of Flanders in Oude Kwaremont and/or Paterberg.
  • Monday April 2nd: Visit to Eddy Merckx factory to pay our respects to The Prophet, followed by a Brussells downtown visit (more detail to come).
  • Tuesday April 3rd: Short ride around the cottage or rest and visit the bicycle museum in Beveren (Roeselare). Afternoon ride with Johan Museeuw.
  • Wednesday April 4th: 2 hours practice with a coach on the Eddy Merckx Velodrome in Gent (track bikes provided). Follow the Grand Prix de l’Escaut Pro Race (http://www.scheldeprijs.be/nl)
  • Thursday April 5th: Ride with the Pros on their Paris Roubaix recon around Arenberg. Visit to the Brunehaut brewery in Belgium (where our Malteni beer is produced). Tour of  downtown Lille.
  • Friday April 6th: Ride Tour of Flanders course (150 and 200km routes available, full ride available to those who dare). Visit the Tour of Flanders museum in Oudenaarde.
  • Saturday April 7th: Cyclo Fléche Brabançonne (http://www.flandersclassics.be/nl/cyclo/brabantse-pijl) or ride in Flanders area.
  • Sunday April 8th: Follow the Paris-Roubaix race (taking in cobbled sectors around Valenciennes + Arenberg + L’Arbre). Depart.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Oli
    2 minutes of internetting failed to yield a photo of two puny cyclists fighting each other. But imagine I just posted one like that (but imagine the cyclists were fatter).

  • @frank

    @Blah

    @frank

    @Blah

    @frank
    I said the word makes more sense. Those pics have a definite otherworldly quality.
    Buuuuuuuuut:
    Second shot - shorts too short, socks too long. (Dare I say it?) Discipline too cyclocross.

    Guy on the left is Eric De Vlaeminck, Rogers bro. All their shorts were too short back then, but to my point - your words cheapened the shot, didn't they? A shot which I think is awesome. Especially the unnamed German's guns. Merckx.

    Teaching ethics at the moment to 10th Graders. Looking at moral relativism. Does this attitude mean that The Rules are not absolute truth, but relative to the time and place we find ourselves?
    I lean towards The Rules being absolute. If they are not, they would not have attracted a following from across the world. There would not be such excellent examples from the ages.
    If The Rules are truth, the large expanse of thigh, and high expanse of sock, on display is cheapening the shot, not I, the humble (hahaha) messenger.

    Ah! Excellent point! The Rules are, of course, an Absolute Truth. They might even be an Absolute Truthe, because adding an unnecessary e to the end of any word gives it gravitas.
    But, The Rules are steeped in history, in the culture of Cycling. We can not be where we are today were it not for yesterday. Indeed, the shorts are too short. But that is how it was then. They were as they were, and that is what fed the Goldilocks Principle and brought us to where we are today.
    There are to ways to look at this photo. We can look at it and scowl and say, Grinch-style, "Those idiots didn't know a thing about style! Their short are too short! Their socks are too long! Their seat posts too low, their bars are too high!"
    Or, we could say, "That was the way it was, and we have learned from their mistakes to better our future. Their sacrifice helped improve our world. And they were still Hardmen, and they were still Awesome. Thank you, Merckx, for giving them to us, and for letting us learn from their mistakes."

    I can live with this.
    The way I'm going to think of it is like the atomic model. Old school cool is like the models of J.J. Thomson giving way to Neils Bohr, then further discoveries leading to matched seat and bar tape colours and the disproving of EPMS theory.
    The Rules were always there, but the important work of those who came before us means that we truly stand on the shoulders of giants in our abilities to perceive them. And look good doing it.

  • @brett

    @Marcus
    Wrestling? Rolling around on the ground, oiled up? Yeah...

    The bromance is getting a little musty round here.
    Oli, you've unknowingly invoked what's known as the Bretto effect. When some off colour joke including someone's sexuality is made, he pops his head up and chimes in. Only time I see him these days, he like a perverted whack a mole.

  • @Blah

    I can live with this.

    The way I'm going to think of it is like the atomic model. Old school cool is like the models of J.J. Thomson giving way to Neils Bohr, then further discoveries leading to matched seat and bar tape colours and the disproving of EPMS theory.

    The Rules were always there, but the important work of those who came before us means that we truly stand on the shoulders of giants in our abilities to perceive them. And look good doing it.

    Well put. Excellent work. You're ready to teach.

  • I'm not sure what to reply to here. On the one hand there is an insightful conversation on the parallels between cycling and physics. On the other there's a bunch of Aussie dudes invoking a twisted sense of friendship with homo-eroticism and veiled adoration for one-another. I'll have to get back to this later.

  • FFS guys, pictures of John Daly? really? Let's get back on track here. From that picture of Fast Freddy and The Gypsy, I'd say the latter has a spiffy pair of Cinelli 66s on there. Classic track/sprinter bar.

    Notice too, how these two gods of the spring classics seem to be riding in some kind of beatific sunbeam from the heavens, casting magnificent shadows upon the pave.

    Discuss and let's have no more pictures of fat slobs playing a silly game in children's clothes.

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