Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013; More Cobbles, More Bergs, More Beer, More Legends
You can’t be blamed for thinking it matters which way your wheels are pointed, or that you believe they both should be headed in more or less the same direction at any given moment. From when we first start riding a bike, we’re told this is the case; after all, you only have two wheels on your bike, so if 50% or more of them are going in a direction other than the one you’re pointed, it presents a conflict which will quickly resolve itself by a phenomenon we refer to as “crashing”.
It only takes about seven seconds on the pavé for the rider to learn the fallacy of this lesson. Within moments, you’ll find both wheels bouncing along in every which direction, usually on different vectors from one another, and often in different planes as well. This situation generally comes to equilibrium in the rider’s mind after a kilometer or so of the first secteur, at which point they are faced with a decent and a corner and the realization that since neither wheel is going in any predictable direction, the reliability of steering will be somewhat reduced.
For those of you who are lucky enough to attend Keeper’s Tour 2013 in early April of next Spring, you will spend the time until then preparing your mind and your body as well as possible. You will put in the kilometers, you will ride the roughest roads you can find. And, within moments of your wheels touching the cobbles, you’ll realize there is no possible way to prepare for this. The fact is that it doesn’t really matter all that much; you’ll figure it out. These aren’t things you can be taught or prepare for; these are things that can only be learned through experience. But, once you leave the cobbles behind you, relief will fade into yearning. There is a void left by the stones that can only be filled with the bone-shaking rattle of the Pavé du Nord and Kassien in Flanders.
With that, the Keepers are delighted to announce Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013. As with last year, we’re teaming up with Pavé Cycling Classics boys William and Alex and improving on the best aspects of last year’s trip. Everyone knows that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing, so we’ve added more cobbles, more bergs, more beer (is that even possible?) and more legends to last year’s trip.
Major Trip Highlights:
This year, the Keepers will be co-guiding the trip with the Pavé boys, rather than attending as passengers as in 2012.
Proving that his judgement is as bad as ours, Johan Museeuw has decided that he liked us so much, he’ll be doing the Roubaix and de Ronde rides with us. Ever dream of riding the cobbles with a Pro? Well, this is your chance to ride both the Trouée and the Kapelmuur alongside the Lion of Flanders. Don’t tip him off, but I’m attacking him in the velodrome.
We’ll be trading some museum visits for more riding; instead of the Merckx factory and a Tuesday ride around Kemel as we did last year, we’ll be packing up the bus, kidnapping Museeuw again, and driving to Bastogne to ride the second (harder) half of Liege-Bastogne-Liege.
Friday’s visit with a Pro team is tentatively planned to be with Team Omega-Pharma Quickstep. This requires confirmation and our “fallback” – if you can call it that – is Team AG2R. Either way, I wouldn’t plan on Boonen showing up to chat with us, but maybe we can get someone to bring us one of his dirty socks from the laundry room.
Previsionary Itinerary
- Friday : Pick up midday, travel to gite and get bikes setup
- Saturday : Paris Roubaix with Johan Museeuw (last 150km)
- Sunday : Watch de Ronde van Vlaanderen at the Oude Kwaremont
- Monday: Visit the Roeselare National Bicycle Museum & go for an easy ride around Kemmel
- Tuesday: Liége-Bastogne-Liége with Johan Museeuw
- Wednesday: Track riding at the Gent vélodrome & watch the GP Escault (E3 Prijs Vlaanderen) pro race
- Thursday: Paris Roubaix reconaissance ride with the Pros
- Friday: Brunehaut brewery visit & visit with Pro Team (Omega-Pharma Quickstep or AG2R)
- Saturday: Ronde Van Vlaanderen with Johan Museeuw (150km)
- Sunday: Watch Paris Roubaix at three secteurs; optional stay at gite on Sunday
Price: 3990€, All inclusive price includes rides with Johan Museeuw, accommodation for 9 nights, breakfast, lunch, dinner, beer, wine, insurance coverage, sag support, rental bikes (upon request), exclusive V-Lion V-Shirts, exclusive Keepers Tour V-Pint, exclusive V-Mussette, and Pavé Cycling Classics jersey.
Attendees should be comfortable riding in groups and be able to ride 150km several times in a week at a 30kph pace; some groups may elect to go faster but these are non-competitive rides. There will be lots of cobbles, and lots of short, steep climbs – sometimes both at the same time, so prepare yourself accordingly. We will usually have sag support, and riders who are unable to keep up may be asked to climb in the car.
At this time we are accepting reservations for the full Keepers Tour only, though we may include additional packages. We will be adding one-day packages for locals to attend as well. No deposit is required at registration; 50% deposits will be collected 90 days prior to the trip, with the balance due upon arrival. Book Now on the Keepers Tour 2013 Event Page.
and if the keepers can find a spare moment, perhaps they can have a coffee (of bier) with Farzani..I may not be any Lion of Flanders but hold my own in zolder :)
If we bring the twins, can Museeuw tow the trailer?
Sigh: my life just became a little less complete (again)…
Does local include anyone in Western Europe?
Let’see.
Life insurance paid up on the wifey-poo – check.
9mm – check.
Shovel – check.
I’m in.
@Cyclops
Not my gag but –
If you remember to bury her face down and backside above the soil in your back yard you’ll have somewhere to park your bike too.
Oh man! It sounds like you guys are topping last year. Woooooo, wonder if I can make this or not? Time to check schedules and bank accounts!
Damn! Here comes my cobblebone again…
I’m pretty sure I just peed myself
@Skinnyphat 5,000 USD. I just shit myself.
@Jarvis
Man boobs out of control?
@Steampunk
Nonesense, your life is just as incomplete as it was before we made this announcement.
@farzani
We’ll make a point of it.
@Jarvis
How heavy are your twins? Might not slow him down enough. Can you have another set of them? Also, how do you feel about shaken baby syndrome?
@the Engine
“Local” means people who don’t require accommodation, which means anyone, really, when you think about it, if you’re willing to sleep in your car.
It does complicate things a bit, having people come for a day here or there, but we also want to keep the door open for people who can’t attend the whole show or live locally to come out for the day. We’ll post up the daily rate in the near future. If you want to come out for multiple days, you would just link a few single day trips together.
Cheers, hope to see you there!
@Cyclops
See? This is why we announced it this early this year. People need time to plan. Let me know if you need help diggin’ the hole. I’m good at diggin’.
@Buck Rogers
As G’rilla said last year, there are times for checking schedules and bank accounts, and there are times for action. G’rilla went on Keepers Tour last year, and he’s going again. Which of the two times do you think he determined reserving a spot for Keepers Tour fell into?
We’d love to see you there, mate.
@Bianchi Denti
Wouldn’t be the same if you didn’t come out again. Who else would I yell at for waving an All Blacks flag infront of the V-Banner?
@frank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTUcFhCim_A
Bugger, wrong quote, the video is in response to Franks claim to strong digging, and why didn’t it embed?
So it’s March 29 to April 7 is that right ?
Much as I enjoyed the weekend last time I did wish I had done the whole thing and was determined to do it in 2013.
However as i was laying the groundwork for this recently my wife reminded me that she has a Significant Birthday in April and I think she wants Something Big. (Which is very unusual for her, as she typically refuses to acknowledge them).
Something Big is about as close as I will get to a clue… but I don’t think she meant going on the Keepers’ Tour. She’d be even more upset about the apostrophe than I am.
Tricky negotiations to follow… I’m home this weekend.
So you’ve prevailed on the Ronde organizers to put the Muur back in the race? Typical.
@brett no, would just be nice not to have “ballast” on a ride for a change.
@frank all in he’d be towing 45kg, not enough time for another set, although we could borrow some bigger ones. Was thinking he’d go fast enough over the pave for it not to be that rough for them…
@frank prima! Als we dichter bij, ik stuur je een prive bericht. misschien the keepers zullen willen het beromde Circuit Zolder rijden?
The whole week sounds amazing but for a number of reasons its out my reach this time around.
However, I can easily hop across the channel and ride for a day sorting my own accommodation etc so I just about fall into the local category…I look forward to hearing what 1-day options are available. Either of the Saturday rides would be perfect.
@frank
Thanks – the requirement to earn a living and remain married to my present VMH probably rules out a whole week in April – but a weekend can be swung
I’ve also just realised Easter Sunday is March 31… which means it is in school holidays.
I think that rules out me doing anything more than a weekend.
You bastards. You UTTER bastards.
@frankI did not see the “local” option. then for certain I will join the LBL day as I shamefully admit these old bones have had their share of the Kassien. The Ardenen climbs are my friends :)
Similarly to frank’s point about yearning for the next time you get to ride the pave shortly after you’ve compacted your spine on the last, you’ll be yearning for the next KT. The Pave boys (William and Alex) along with their master chef Genevieve, do a spectacular job. They work their asses off to make you feel challenged, fed, laundered, lubricated, busy, and awestruck. The gite accommodation is inviting and only a 20 minute ride from the Kemmelberg. If what you’re considering is time and/or money as a barrier, think a little harder and do what you can to make it happen for yourself as time and money are expendable and this is worth more than either. This really is a trip of a lifetime and you will not be disappointed (unless you don’t train properly beforehand but that’s not our fault).
@frank
For this plan to work I’m going to need a wifey-poo… Anyone got eligible daughters? (Insert many emoticons to show joking)
Seriously, time and money are something I have neither of, but damned if I’m not gonna be there again… every freakin year!
Break it down. All you have to spend on is souvenirs. Compare it to other ‘similar’ trips, and the value is unbeatable. I say ‘similar’ because really, who else is gonna offer three rides with The Lion on the three most monumental Monuments in cycling? Who’s not gonna refuse you another cold Malteni after your tenth for the day? Who’s gonna call you a koont and you’ll actually like it?
I cant wait! Frank and I have some serious Rule #9 training ahead of us this winter, and I look forward to meeting the rest of the Keepers who I’m hoping will be as foul mouthed and hyperactive as our esteemed leader.
Oh, and the riding. On the pave. Shit, I gotta build some wheels. Hmmmm…………
@scaler911
Foulmouthed – yes, irreverent – yes, hyperactive – I do what I can to keep Frank in check when his VMH is absent.
Yes, build some wheels. And get one of those squishy balls to build your hand strength. Your daily forearm workout won’t be enough.
@marko
Oh man, was just talking myself out of it when you post this, so, would like to give this a go. Going to have to have a serious think before tabling before the VMH. Those of you def going, I am green with envy.
Frank will be adding an extra 10-20k on to each ride, accidentally.
If money is the barrier, just wait a few months. The Euro is bound to collapse sooner or later.
@Nate
The Keepers do not recognize any route that excludes the Muur as being de Ronde. Worlds greatest YouTube video ever, embedded once again. I’m starting my training now with the singular goal of staying in the big ring longer than Museeuw. And then I’m having a go at him.
@frank
Except you’ll both be chasing me……….Proper Power Crank training commences this Saturday.
@scaler911
You know the rule, right? If you train on Power Cranks, you have to ride the pavé on them, too. Have fun taking some of those potholes in the package.
By the way, some training tips for KT2013.
First of all, antipodes: fuck off. You get to do this at the end of your summer.
Second, do your long, low-intensity rides to build your base, but the cobbles take big, big power to ride. Basically, each cobblestone slaps your bike backwards as hard as it can, so you are constantly fighting momentum as you ride, and momentum is the only thing that will get you through.
The longest and hardest pavé secteurs are about 3km, so train to be able to sustain high power for that long a distance. (It probably takes about 2 minutes to cover a kilometer on the cobbles…something like that…so that’s 6 minutes or maybe a bit more to get through the Trouée and Mons en Pavéle secteurs, which I thought were the hardest.)
@frank
Brain bleach, please.
@Nate
Here you go.
@frank
Grazie mille.
How is it possible that Muessew is doing these rides with the Velominati? He must have to take a long look at himself in the mirror in the morning. Frank, we need some choice Flemish taunts to learn, something questioning his manhood, nationality, riding strength. Something worth dropping on him while riding. The man certainly seems like he enjoys a laugh.
And who was the BMC rider who stopped by for lunch? Did he ever show up in any results this year?
I enjoyed the hell out of the part of KT 2012 that I attended. I probably can’t swing the whole thing but may be able to come for the second weekend. Look forward to seeing “local” day rates. (Really it’s a bargain at almost any price just to see Dr. C with the leprechaun hat cheering on the pros.) Are you going to be using the same gite or at least be in the same area?
@brett
I can’t agree more. As I read the price vs value of the trip I was very impressed! I won’t be able to attend, because happily I learned last week that Mrs. graham d.m. is preggers with baby #3. She is due April 4th. Sad, that I can’t attend but obviously for the forseeable future bike budget just got blown up. But that being said the trip looks sick and seems to be an exceptional value. Hope to meet some of you yahoos sometime. Guess I will have to get my too fat to climb booty in gear for the 200 on 100, instead.
On a side note, how bad is it that after she told me of the pregnancy I was happy of course….but also thought “there goes my new wheelset…..” Pretty twisted, huh?
@graham d.m.
Normal actually. And yes about this being a deal. If you compare to other cycling tours, this is the least expensive and the most concentrated fun. Sheeeeit, I just heard about sailors shelling out $13k to race from California to Hawaii. And that is very little fun compared to this.
@Skip
The Pave Boys are going back to their original gite which they think is actually better for location and functionality. It’s not in Westover but still in same generally cool Belgian area.
@Gianni
Klaas Lodewyck. He dropped out at San Sebastian, but has had some other good showings thorugh the season. I’ve been keeping an eye out for him in results, along with Kristof and Stephen from AG2R. It’s nice to have even a (very) tenuous connection to the pros!
@frank
Frank, I love Balvenie.
Here’s to you, mate.
@Cyclops
Wow, that’s really creepy. On another note, I feel vindicated in my love for Fränk Schleck given that he is the only dude there with the sense that if you are drinking shit beer, that you should at least be drinking two at a time.