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On Rule #28: The Case for Black Socks

The case for black socks...and orange patent leather shoes.

[rule number=28/]

Science has proven that people who wear crazy socks are smarter than those boring snooze factories who wear simple plain socks. I know the data supporting the claims is legitimate because I read it on LinkedIn. Also, when I say “read”, I mean that I glanced briefly at the title while simultaneously performing several other critical activities like checking YouTube for videos of uncoordinated animals and what the weather is like on Mars.

Rule #28 stands out amongst the others as a particularly vague swan for the reasons outlined in the above article, which I assume are that in a world of limited and regimented acceptable conventions in gender style choices, socks present an opportunity to fly our Freak Flag and throw in a few pieces of flair without upsetting the boss, partner, or parents. Even though every Velominatus, the most dedicated and elite of the Cycling Aesthetes, holds white socks in the highest regard, there should always be room for other choices within the Cyclist’s daily style program.

Despite the implication on my intelligence, my own sock choice is rather understated and dictated in part by the employment of the Orange Damsels – my beloved custom orange patent-leather Bont Vaypors. These shoes already make a bit of a statement themselves, so my sock choice needs to be solid and carefully coordinated in order to avoid a conflict between my ankle and foot decorum. For instance, the orange hi-vis DeFeets I ride on the road in bad weather don’t quite match the orange of my shoes, pulling the choke on the ol’ OCD engine. I have therefore allowed myself to wear socks in any color so long as they are either black or white.

The case for white socks is already clear and does not need to be revisited. The case for black socks, however, begins with the principles laid out by Rule #8, wherein the colors of satellite components should normally be matched to their nearest adjacent contact point on the frame. It then follows by extension that the same is true for kit: assuming the mandatory black bibs, black socks bridge the gap between them and whatever shoes you might be wearing. Much like matching the cuffs to the collars, matching the socks to the bibs to black provides a uniform platform from which to build your style program.

Go bold with the choice of socks if you must, but remember to always keep it classy. And, if in doubt, build a solid foundation of color from which to build.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

brett says:

Jun 21 2016 at 9:12 pm

@Steampunk

Look: it’s very simple, even for keepers with 46.5 IQ points (which, if we’re honest, is flattering Frank no end).

Black shoes. White socks. End of. Otherwise, what you’re really doing is drawing attention away from the bike (which must be pristine) and the guns (which must be magnificent).

Unless, of course, that is the ploy. Maybe Frank’s eyesore orange Bonts help us forget that his “guns” are only marginally thicker than a tent pole (black is also slimming: not a good look here). But just as we tend to our machine, so should we care for our physique to make our cycling aesthetic as fabulous as possible. There is no acceptable workaround. White socks. Only white. Ride harder.

That's easy for you to say, Captain Calves.
ccunix says:

Jun 21 2016 at 10:56 pm

@Steampunk

No, black shoes/socks all the way (although my bad weather shoes are grey, but they were free - hence the bad weather).

Black/black gives a solid foundation to build upon. I will however accept matching such to jersey - if said jersey iinteresting - ie not black
RobSandy says:

Jun 22 2016 at 12:49 am

White shoes, white socks. And that is that.

I've got some red socks which match my kit and bike, but I just feel slow when I'm wearing them.

If I had a vintage number I'd go black shoes, black socks. But I don't.
Teocalli says:

Jun 22 2016 at 2:01 am

@RobSandy

Vintage number is assuredly Black shoes and White socks.
JohnB says:

Jun 22 2016 at 2:24 am

I was always black shoes and either black or white socks, even before I knew of the existence of this site and The Rules. Recently I bought a pair of bright orange Sidis, probably subconsciously inspired by Franks Bonts.

Climbing Mont Ventoux out of the trees in thick mist last week I was told that my wee blinking rear red light and orange shoes spinning round in the murk were the first things, maybe the only things that were visible.

Pic 1 from the lower slopes of Ventoux pre mist, it was a club kit day. 2nd pic from Alpe D'Huez/ Col de Sarenne a few days before
RobSandy says:

Jun 22 2016 at 2:33 am

@Teocalli

@RobSandy

Vintage number is assuredly Black shoes and White socks.

We're not savages...
dinosaurJR says:

Jun 22 2016 at 3:47 am

I am of the firm opinion that ones shoes should be black. Socks I am a little more open on. Not fluro, though. Never fluro.

But then again I do wear Fizik MB5s whilst atop my road bike, so what the fuck do I know?
dinosaurJR says:

Jun 22 2016 at 3:52 am

M3B. Hells bells I can't even name my gear... What a travesty of man that is dinosaurJR...
Neil says:

Jun 22 2016 at 5:04 am

velOCDminati...
fenlander says:

Jun 22 2016 at 5:13 am

Like my black sock/white Giro combo,seen here on the Tour of Cambridgeshire;

I know it's classic but not really a fan of white socks,always reminds me of these two;