Categories: Kit

These Colors Don’t Run

One score and seven years ago, I first swung my leg over my bike with a specific training objective in mind. I was 7 going on 8 years old and already behind me lay the days of the bicycle representing freedom from the claustrophobic confines of “walking-distance” and before me lay the unexplored world of La Vie Velominatus. In the summer of 1984, I decided to compete in the only long-distance ski race that didn’t have a thirteen year old minimum age limit, the Mora Vasaloppet. The race also held the distinction of being the only race that boasted a real awards presentation, complete with a full-size podium; this felt like a real race and I was determined to be part of it. 32 kilometers to race alone as an eight-year-old boy meant, for me, a considerable challenge and one I intended to meet head-on; not only did I want to finish, I wanted to win my “13 and Under” age class and stand on the only podium step worth standing on. And so opened the world of cycling for me – as a means to an end, but it wasn’t very long before the bicycle began to overshadow the ski.

My world was very quickly dominated by the bicycle. Leafing through every magazine I could find, my imagination transformed the photos and written word of the journalists into live, full-color replays of the races. The attacks were vicious, the climbs steep, and the sprint finishes close. Initially, it was very hard to gain access to cycling videos, and the videos that I did find failed to live up to the scenes constructed in my imagination. To this day, I prefer pouring over old cycling books and magazines and letting my imagination reconstruct the scenes to watching replays of races on video. The gaps left by the photos and words are filled in fanciful ways reality could never match.

From the very beginning, as I leafed through those books and magazines, I carefully studied and mimicked the Pros. Black leather shoes. Metal toeclips, leather straps. Gloves unvelcroed when it’s hot. Sunnies over the helmet straps. Forget the Ray-Bans; I was off to the gas station to buy a pair of imitation Oakley Blades. Exaggerated grimace when you’re working hard, exaggerated look of calm when not.

But the kit, oh the kit. This most crucial element of Looking Pro, it eluded me from the beginning. Even at a young age, I felt that team kit was to be worn only by those who earned the right to wear it and as such was off-limits. But because skiing remained my competitive focus all through my teens, I never joined a cycling team and as such never earned the privilege to wear team kit. That’s not to say I never strayed into Team Kit territory, but it always felt a bit like cheating and I carefully constructed parameters that allowed me to feel that it was acceptable.

In the end, skiing gave way completely to cycling and I eventually did earn the right to wear the Team Kit of the various clubs I joined. Kitting up for a ride, there is an intangible connection one feels that is hard to convey. You are making a statement of who you are as a cyclist, of where your allegiance lies. Where that allegiance lies for The Keepers is obvious and was the driver behind creating the V-Kit; we did so with the assumption that only we and maybe our family and closest friends would wear it. But before very long, members of the community were asking to wear it as well. One thing led to another and today the V-Kit is flown by Velominati the world over, on every continent with both mail service and an internet connection (we have not shipped to Antarctica, though we would if we were asked to).

Our order process is perhaps the most cumbersome in existence. Step one: Lay down your hard-earned cash, up-front. Step Two: Wait many weeks. Step Three: A brown paper package arrives containing your made-to-order kit. All because you decided that you want to fly the Velominati Colors and make your statement about who you are as a cyclist. To say it humbles us that is to suggest that the ocean is somewhat damp.

As the number of people wearing the V-Kit as grown, so has the demand for more than just a black kit. Long sleeve jerseys, white jerseys, black bibs, arm warmerss; now we’re onto knee warmers, knickers, caps for summer and winter, and gloves, socks, bidons. The list will continue to grow and we’ll continue to pick away at it bit by bit. But one of the things that became immediately apparent, however, was that while the women ordering V-Kit are actually quite comfortable in the men’s V-Bibs, they are not entirely thrilled with getting stark naked on the roadside any time they need to answer the call. Apparently there are also some differences in anatomy that we don’t need to get into, but the salient point to absorb here is that while men’s jerseys work fine for both sexes, women generally have different kit requirements than do men when it comes to the lower half. The Women’s V-Short quickly jumped to the top of the list of items to add and we set about making it so, as we are wont to do.

As long as we were designing a women’s-specific V-Short, we thought we’d also make it all black, as a means to distinguis them visually. From the moment the first pair arrived at the Velominati World Headquarters, I knew we would be designing an all-black bib. For clarification, please refer to the Velominata laying it all on the road in full V and VV style, rocking her V-Kit with Women’s V-Shorts.

As a last point, due to shifting time tables caused by much of the Castelli staff being at Interbike this week, we are extending our V-Kit ordering deadline to September 23 as they will be backlogged and won’t be able to process the order at the onset of next week as originally planned. Place your order by midnight on September 23 for the next V-Kit shipment, still scheduled to arrive in early November. If you have already ordered the V-Kit and would like to make changes to your order, please contact us.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @RedRanger

    When will be the next chance to order after this?

    If this one doesn't kill me, we'll try to time one such that it gets here for Christmas. Depends on (a) how swamped we are and (b) demand.

  • @frank

    @eightzero

    Not sure this is going to work, but here's a link to eightzero, resplendent in his V-kitte on the Alpe d'MtBaker.

    You know what's weird? All our orders got cancelled right after you posted that. Probably a coincidence.

    Don't worry. Let everyone know the rider is an impostor. The kit must be stolen. The guy in this photos is wearing headphones.

  • @tim

    Frank,
    Did you win the ski race?

    @huffalotpuffalot

    @Frank can you please provide podium photo after you laid down The V at aged 7/8

    I did win. It wasn't that hard because I was the only one taking it that seriously, but it taught me a good lesson; work hard and you'll reach your goals. It also taught me that competition is really about beating yourself and always working to be better than you were. Don't worry about others so much, worry about getting better than you think you can be.

    What was much harder than winning, though, was the psychological bit to be on your own in the middle of nowhere as an 8 year old (I was 8 by the time I raced), not sure of how the race worked and if I'd missed a turn or something like that. I just kept skiing for the next kilometer marker and that helped reassure me that I was on course.

    I remember when the kilometer markers showed 5 km to go, it changed my outlook in the same way reaching 8,000 feet the first time up Haleakala did. 5km was the length of the loop I trained on in Phalen Park in St. Paul, so I knew I could do it. Any asshole can ski 5,000 meters!

    I also won the "Youngest Skier" award but I don't have it anymore - can't remember what it was, a plaque or a medal or something of that nature, but whatever it was it paled in comparison to the trophy.

    I've got pictures (somewhere) of me skiing that day in my sweet red racing suit that I'd saved all summer to buy. I'm sure my parents have pictures of me on the podium, but I don't. I'll see if I can drum something up. Good times.

  • @mblume

    It is amazing how this website and the Velominati kit continue to grow. In the next few years The V kit and all of the splendid variations may need its own Fashion show on the runways/streets of Milan San Remo or Paris-Roubaix.

    Fixed your post. And thanks - we're as amazed as you are. It's thanks to the community that any of this is possible.

  • @The Oracle

    Not the pint glass, though, because it would only cause me to drink even more beer than I do now, which ironically would serve only to adversely affect my continued pursuit of la Vie Velominatus.

    Good call. When I was developing the design, I kept having prototypes made. When I finally conceived of the V-Cog in the bottom, it led to a very bad hangover.

    The VMH was out of town and as such there was no adult supervision. I just sat there drinking pint after pint, "I've gotta see the V-Cog just one...more...time!" The way it reveals itself to you as you polish off the pint...it just leads to another pint.

  • @frank
    Ah, the old "Hide/Find the V-Cog" dilemma. The problem with your pussy IPA's is that they don't "Hide the V-Cog" as well as a nice oatmeal stout or the the like. You're supposed to shave the hair on you legs but you need hair on your chest when it comes to drinkin'.

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