Categories: La Vie Velominatus

La Vie Velominatus, Part IV: The Great Escape

The Col du Tourmalet

One of the most magnificent things about Cycling is that not only does it represent different things to different people, it represents different things on different days. Some days, it’s training – a means to an end. Other days, it’s the culmination of a body of work; rather than a means to an end, it represents that end itself, whether that end is exhilarating or devastating. But these two facets represent Cycling only as Sport, the complex simplicity of the balance between dedication and results.

Cycling stands apart, however, in its many dimensions beyond Sport. For me, Cycling is meditation, a time to clear my mind of ancillary concerns and contemplate on those that require my focus. It is thoughtlessness, a time to eliminate everything through the simplicity of pain. It is simultaneously medication and therapy; even a short ride can shake a heavy lethargy from my bones and rejuvenate aching muscles and joints. It is simultaneously tension and release; Cycling can fill my being with effort, an effort that overflows my legs and lungs and spills over to fill every fiber of my being, flushing from me all those things I wish not to keep.

Cycling is penance for my mistakes; a few hours at the mercy of the Man with the Hammer can help me understand the error of my ways. It is cleansing of other’s mistakes – here the Man with the Hammer helps pound out the ripples in the surface of Life they cause me.

I am by no means a great man and never will be. But I am a better man for my bike, and for that I am eternally grateful to it.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Dr C

    Frank, I need you to come and sit beside me at work - I just don't seem to sell this whole thing as well as you can, to my patients who are struggling though their lives, but don't actually have anything physically wrong with themselves (happy to excuse the genuinely ill) - that said, I can't refer them to this website, for all the obvious reasons!

    A prescription of V and a course of hill repeats for all the malingerers!

  • @Chris

    @Dr C

    Frank, I need you to come and sit beside me at work - I just don't seem to sell this whole thing as well as you can, to my patients who are struggling though their lives, but don't actually have anything physically wrong with themselves (happy to excuse the genuinely ill) - that said, I can't refer them to this website, for all the obvious reasons!

    A prescription of V and a course of hill repeats for all the malingerers!

    It's the pure antithesis of the X-Factor

  • @Buck Rogers, @pakrat
    It's interesting how that begins to form a pattern. Same here; the VMH and I have different tolerances for how long we've been off the bike before we go nuts. Recognizing that threshold becomes something to focus on as well, from both sides; Oooooooooh, you're acting like a dick. Need to go on a ride?

    I guess it's summed up best by Calvin and Hobbes (in reverse) but sometimes when you're a big enough cry baby, you get to go on a ride.

  • @pakrat

    @Buck RogersMy wife also.
    An unfortunate side effect of my cycling habit is that I become a grumpy whining brat when I miss out on a riding day. My mood becomes less than tolerable to my wife if I don't get at least an hour in every other day. It actually took some time for me to figure out why I was so damn pissy on occasion. No other sport has ever influenced me in such a manner.

    I try to get my rides done in the morning for this very reason. (Everyone can tell when I don't get my ride in.) I struggle to concentrate unless I've ridden first thing in the morning.

    I don't even like to be around myself when I don't ride. I become my own worst manager.

    For various reasons, including egregious violations of Rule 11, I haven't ridden in four straight days, nor have I ridden more than ten days total in the last month. It's all I can do not to chew the trim off my desk. However, I'm cleaning the LOOK 595 this evening in preparation for a nice 90 minute ride in the morning. All will be right with the world soon.

  • @drsoul

    Ugh, yeah - I'm just getting back from over two weeks of vacations in three different locations, and only one of which involved the bike (I know, rough life).

    When I'm out for a ride, it's not so much that I'm trying to escape anything or do any deep thinking (I'll often return home and not really remember what all passed through my head while I was out), but it's just being able to enjoy time doing an activity that I love without anything else distracting me - no cell phone (I carry it for emergencies but don't answer it while out riding), no partner (my girlfriend doesn't ride, and I'm OK with that - I like having *my* activity), no work stresses - just being outside in my awesome state and enjoying the same simple pleasure of riding a bike that folks have been enjoying for over 100 years now.

    Becoming more healthy because of it is an awesome side benefit, as well.

  • @Dr C
    Great cols you'll be riding, mate. I've done all of those (every few years we stay for a month in Aspet). Most of those are really not too bad...they're passes with steep bits, but they are all very doable - even the Tourmalet, which is my favorite pass ever.

    The ride over the Col des Ares is a big-ringer, no big deal at all. Then down the valley and up the Portet d'Aspet, which is in my opinion the hardest one in the Pyerenees. The real climb is only about 4km (once you split off from the Mente) but those 4 km are a beast; significant stretches of 17% will put you in the hurt locker like no other climb in those hills. Fantastic. Wicked envious.

  • @drsoul

    @frank
    Thanks for the wallpapers. Boy, I want to tackle these climbs. It's amazing to think that normal folk can ride these legendary roads (no offense, Frank). I mean, not everyone can play at Boston Garden or Cowboy Stadium or Candlestick Park (yes, duly noted that all three of these professional stadiums are gone...I'm nostalgic..). But in cycling, we get to ride what they ride. Ain't that grand?

    Absolutely - excellent point, and amazing distinction between Cycling and other realms of sport. Incredible. Even what @Buck Rogers is talking about, going to hit the great roads...there's no feeling like it. And after you've ridden them, when you watch the races, you feel it all again - Look out, Grimpelder, that's a steep bit you're coming up to!!

    @Souleur

    At 41 now, I AM A CYCLIST, its me, everyone knows it.

    I'll say it with you, brother: I AM A CYCLIST. Part and parcel of what I am.

  • @Steampunk

    Methinks this great write-up needs a twin from the other side of the of looking glass, which articulates the addiction that is our "agony - our badge of honor - our sin."

    Great idea! On it!

    @Jeff in PetroMetro

    I don't even like to be around myself when I don't ride. I become my own worst manager.

    Word on that, brother. Tension, aggravation...I'll tend to hate the world. Also the genesis of this article; I had a hateful morning yesterday, topped off with a doctor's visit. The nurse took my pulse and said, "Are you a runner?" I said, no, I'm a cyclist. "Oh, that explains your low heart rate." What was it? "51bpm." Oh, man, that's high. I'm really tense right now. "That's high? What is it usually?" 42. "Oh."

    I don't even like to be around myself when I don't ride. I become my own worst manager.

  • @frank

    Then down the valley and up the Portet d'Aspet, which is in my opinion the hardest one in the Pyerenees. The real climb is only about 4km (once you split off from the Mente) but those 4 km are a beast; significant stretches of 17% will put you in the hurt locker like no other climb in those hills. Fantastic. Wicked envious.

    Bring it on!! (I suspect with about 2% chance of actual success/completion..... my local Hurt Locker climb is 18% for about 30 metres - HELP!!!)

    Shall bring a running commentary next year when I get there, if I have any blood left in my fingers

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