La Vie Velominatus, Part IV: The Great Escape
One of the most magnificent things about Cycling is that not only does it represent different things to different people, it represents different things on different days. Some days, it’s training – a means to an end. Other days, it’s the culmination of a body of work; rather than a means to an end, it represents that end itself, whether that end is exhilarating or devastating. But these two facets represent Cycling only as Sport, the complex simplicity of the balance between dedication and results.
Cycling stands apart, however, in its many dimensions beyond Sport. For me, Cycling is meditation, a time to clear my mind of ancillary concerns and contemplate on those that require my focus. It is thoughtlessness, a time to eliminate everything through the simplicity of pain. It is simultaneously medication and therapy; even a short ride can shake a heavy lethargy from my bones and rejuvenate aching muscles and joints. It is simultaneously tension and release; Cycling can fill my being with effort, an effort that overflows my legs and lungs and spills over to fill every fiber of my being, flushing from me all those things I wish not to keep.
Cycling is penance for my mistakes; a few hours at the mercy of the Man with the Hammer can help me understand the error of my ways. It is cleansing of other’s mistakes – here the Man with the Hammer helps pound out the ripples in the surface of Life they cause me.
I am by no means a great man and never will be. But I am a better man for my bike, and for that I am eternally grateful to it.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
@scaler911, @sgt, @mcsqueak
As the Illuminati had Cabals, one thing in our vision is to have Cogals organized by community memebers where people get together for organized rides. I envision sub-velominati sites that would be used to manage them and allow members to communicate and plan; they would also store routes for that local area.
Brett did organize a pilot Cogal in Welly for the Welli-Roubaix, and it went really well. We need more of those.
Now, if any of you know of investors who want to support me while I quit my day job and work full time on Velominati, I could even make it happen.
@frank
Roger that, wilco
@Cyclops
Email me at johnbruneel @ yahoo.com (my ‘ghost’ account) and I’ll give you my contact info. Be fun to have 3 VM out on a ride, maybe more.
@wiscot
The movie may very well end up being a fun, brainless way to while away a couple hours on a repackaged format for a thriller. To that, I say, well, maybe I’ll netflix it some day maybe I won’t. Something tells me though it won’t make it onto The Works page.
Interesting that some of you consider the cycling more important than the event – I’m inclined to agree with that – I’ve been doing one design boat racing for years, and am just about fed up with it – the sailing is fun, but so often you sit around waiting for whatever to get sorted, missing some great actual sailing time – then there is the buzz of winning, which nobody else cares about other than your team, and the downer
….of under performing – with cycling the same exists – much hanging around at TTs, track racing, whatever
The joy is in just doing the damned thing – I’d rather be riding for the sake of it – which is why we decided to do the Trans Pyrenee Trip – I want to get lost up in the hills, taking our time, celebrating the joy of just doing it and being there – the thought of a cyclosportive, whilst we’ll do loads and enjoy them, just doesn’t excite me as much as the pure odyssey of the several days trip – I imagine we will feel completely stoned the whole time – dozing in the fresh air with the feeling of freedom that getting up to the top of a mountain under one’s own steam brings – can’t come soon enough – better book something after it of course
@Buck Rogers @Chris @all Northern European Velominati @ in fact anyone who is game
I’ll try to sort a Paris Roubaix trip for 2013, for those who like to gaze into the distant future, to include the P-R sportive and a few other rides over a couple of days and of course, the race itself – could be a good focal event for the EuroV’ers
@Dr C
“Good focal event for the EuroV’ers” Talk about your understatement of the century! It would be FUCKING awesome!!!
Thanks man.
On a side note and completely unrelated (or as Monty Python would say, And now for something completely different) I have to share some good news. I was stuck by a needle yesterday during surgery and the patient was a trauma dude that I was fixing his eye. He’s some guy from the Mexican border who was stabbed in the eye with a broken beer bottle while in a bar fight.
Needless to say, myself and the Infect Disease folks were a bit worried about his HIV status so I had to go on the anti-retroviral meds that make you sooooo sick! Even two doses of this stuff has made me feel totally like shit. But, the lab results came back 10 minutes ago and he is HIV negative! So I can go off the HIV meds.
Now if only his Hep C can come back negative, I’ll be all clear!!!
@Dr C
I would definitely be up for that, keep the updates coming as things progress.
@Frank
Perhaps its possible to add some kind of page for events where people can put details and others register interest in said event.
@Buck Rogers
Scary stuff. Good to hear do don’t got no gonoherpaids.
@All
Speaking of events and consdering my dismal form right now, I decided to set my self a small target with a sportive in Blighty. I am going to be doing the Epic course so should be a nice little ride and if anyone else is going to be doing this let me know.
South Downs Sportive
@Cyclops
Yeah, the test for the gonorra-herpi-sphylitis is so far negative as well. :)
Just cannot be too careful, esp in non-insured trauma types here in the city.
@Buck Rogers
Bloody hell, happy for you about the results so far and I hope that the same is to be said of the Hep C.
@huffalotpuffalot
Thanks man.
“Small target” eh, definitely sounds EPIC! That sounds awesome! Cannot wait to hear how it goes! Better start logging some serious K’s as that sounds like it will be a real ride!
@Buck Rogers
aye laying down a couple of hours every afternoon and then proper runs on weekends. Its just getting back into the routine really. I have been really amazed how good the recovery drinks. I am using SIS at the moment and was a bit dubious about how much difference they would make but after trying them I have really noticed it.
Will definitely let everyone know how it goes and will even try and get a couple of pictures if I can remember.
Late to the discussion, but this article and the posts are very timely (and amazingly apt, eloquent and inspiring) for me indeed.
I haven’t touched a bike for ten days, and it feels like my mind and body are being deprived of some sort of life-force, and energy and clarity is being slowly drained from me. It’s the old ‘life getting in the way’, but riding is a part of my life that really dictates everything else in it. My job(s) is cycling related, so it’s ironic that cycling is preventing me cycling in a paradoxical way. I’m sat at a computer putting together a magazine that celebrates the freedom that riding brings, yet that very act is preventing the act that I’m portraying to the audience.
And I know that when I ride again, the pain that I feel in my legs and lungs will wash away the pain in my mind and my heart that has built up and clouded my very being.
It’s time to escape.
@huffalotpuffalot
Looks like a fine day out – I did a couple of runs down that neck of the woods through the South Downs a few weeks ago whilst sailing Hamble – mind you, I would struggle not to stop in every other village for a pint in one of those delightful little English village pubs – got a bit pissed on one of the 30 mile runs after two such stops!
@frank
Is this not your job?
Maybe one for the “favourite rides” page, would be the mentioned idea to have a register, as suggested, not for discussion, of rides/ trips that Velominati are doing, that they feel others might wish to join if riding/travelling in the vicinity, so folk have a contact to liaise with??
@brett
Amazing just how shit the guns and lungs feel after a short lay off – first day on bike today for a week – decided to batter the hills and frig me, did I struggle – but then on the fourth climb at about 20km and 450m upness done, they started to sing like a well oiled Pavarotti, I guess the Voluptia appeared – Merckx I felt strong – such a relief – I’ve had a shit week so far, albeit I haven’t been shared the body fluids of dodgy Mexican Scratchback, but for that time nothing mattered – cheap and completely legal Mary Joanna
@brett
How do you do that when you WORK IN A FUCKEN BIKE SHOP!?!?!?!?!?!?! I dare you to show Kahuna this post.
@drsoul
Loads of stuff going on with them – sounds like mostly pleasure, with moderate level suffering, but with degree of luxury – nice
@Minion
Ok, I’ve touched one or two… not with my arse though.
@Dr C
Sounds like a plan! It’ll be good training for the LEJOG I’m planning on doing with a mate later on 2013.
I may just about have got to grips with my new rollers by then or, more likely, have died trying.
@huffalotpuffalot
Good stuff! Looks like a nice ride. I’m off to do this one in Shropshire the week after. It is going to be my first century (well almost at 98 miles).
Where are you based in the UK?
@Buck Rogers
Scary shit, dude. You guys do amazing work, and risk alot. The VMH used to be in a similar line of work, and its a very stressful deal.
Very glad you’re negative, and here’s hoping for a negative on the Hep C.
And, for something completely different, the HIV drugs sound like a great way to loose weight, much like getting
gonorrheagiardia in India did for me.My friend loves biking. He sent me this article. He’s a goddamn idiot but could kick your ace in a race.
Thanks for the indulgence.
@Buck Rogers
Not nice shit but glad you got the HIV negative. Fingers crossed on the Hep C.
@Buck Rogers
That sucks, and good news so far. I gotta ask: you a MD, RN or scrub? I myself work in the OR as a anesthesia technician/ technologist. 12 years in the ER before that. Only been stuck once and it was ‘clean’ (needle off a piggy-back IV). Have a few co-workers that have been though. Nothing like coming home and telling the VMH “hey, know we’ve been together for 10+ years, but gotta glove up for the next 12 months.
@Horace Nmydik
Not sure how to respond to that. But that’s a pretty bold statement unless your friend is Jens Voigt.
@Horace Nmydik
Awesome. I’ll stick with being slow in the legs but fast of mind, myself!
@Buck Rogers
I’m happy you are negative at the test!
@frank
Fronk, are you SURE that it was gonorrhea that you picked up in India? If so, that ought to be an intersting story as there are not too many ways one can contract gonorrhea!
@scaler911
I’m an M.D. Trained in ophtho with a cornea transplant fellowship at Wills, but then went over to the “Dark Side” and was an SF surgeon for the last 4.5 years. Now I’m back full time cornea. I think I might have been safer in SF! :)
@Buck Rogers
No, I meant giardia, and I was joking. I just had the runs in a major way. On the plus side, I could eat whatever I wanted.
Fuck, I hate it when my jokes don’t work out. Now I feel like a New Zealander, or more specifically, Minion.
@Buck Rogers
Yeah, that’s like my cousin who had mono and claimed she had contracted it while playing beer pong in NYC. Likely story, indeed.
@frank
Yeah whatever sunshine. You’ve got a LONG way to go before reaching pinnacles I’ve scaled. Step one: terrible spelling. That’ll get you started.
@frank
I wasn’t even going to go there. Did think that it’d be harder to get gonorrhea in India than, say, Thailand. I was also pretty sure that you wouldn’t disclose that in a public forum! LMAO!
@frank
New Rule to Self: do not borrow Frank’s bikes. You never know what you might catch.
@frank
Nice story, Fronk. But don’t worry, I’m sure that your VMH never reads this site anyways, and we, as your brothers, would never say anything to her. ;)
@Marcus
LOL!!! Chapeau!
@Marcus
They don’t make wooden blocks large enough to allow you to reach the pedals anyway. So don’t sweat it, mate.
@frank
You go straight for the short guy call? You disappoint me. I thought you were better than that.
Why didn’t you say something like,
“You should be ok Marcus as I don’t think you can get a double dose of the Gonna. I think I caught it from your Missus.”
And then I could respond with
“Did i say don’t borrow Frank’s bikes? I meant to say ‘don’t borrow Frank’s rides.’ Last time I checked Fronky boy, your velomihottie has never needed me to wear wooden blocks.”
See, that was a bit more fun wasn’t it? And then all the other readers would say, “Gee that Velominati is a cool website. I think I am going to buy more V-gear.”
Missed opportunity my lofty friend. All because you dissed a short guy instead of going for the slightly edgier, but always guaranteed laugh of talking about porking someone else’s missus.
And no matter how far you people slam down your stem, tall guys on bikes always look fucked.
@Ron
Nicely put. Shall fwd to my wife!
SWMBO had a moment of revelation last night. Working in advertising her truly free time outside of work or work related events is fairly limited at best & even then most cognitive thought processes are somehow connected back to her work. She went to her second session of Bikram Yoga (think yoga performed in room at about 35-40 degrees C) last night after starting on Monday & she comes home with a weird smile on her face & just says:
“I know you’ve wanked on about how good that fucking bike is for clearing your head for ages, but I now understand exactly where you’re coming from. An hour & a half of concentrating purely on what my body was doing without having to think of anything else, it’s magic!”
I took that as the perfect time to let her know that the insurance claim has been paid & I’m either picking up the repaired bike before the weekend or the LBS is lending me a demo model so I can find some legs again before the 65k group ride I’ve signed up for next week.
@Chris
That looks awesome, I am just hoping the weather holds out and its not raining too badly otherwise the power I will be layind down is going to result in a lot of wheel spinning (yeah right!!) I swear sometimes when I am pushing it up hill I can feel the counter rotation of the earth against my every pedal stroke.
I am currently based in Wimbledon, London at the moment hows about yourself?
@frank
agreed Frank, I have been looking at better ways of shifting the weight as I am fking shit at losing it due to my passion for fruit pastilles… oh and chocolate… oh and cakes… oh and actually any bloody food any bloody time.
having just got through a new super duper private medical scheme for work I was consdering putting in for a couple of sessions of chemotherapy…did bloody wonders for Pharmstrong.
@huffalotpuffalot
I’m up in the Alpine wonderland of Cambridgeshire. There are no proper hills to train on and there are no proper hill between here and Siberia so you’re always guaranteed a good headwind.
I’m a bit worried about the weather myself. It’s not that I don’t enjoy riding in shit weather but a dose of Rule #9 for the longest ride I’ve ever done across some pretty lumpy landscape might be pushing it. Going to give the guns a bit of a twirl this weekend on out local club run and was thinking that I really should ride down to thee start point to add another 20 odd miles to the 50-60 miles.
I was also thinking of doing this, it’s in your neck of the woods and the organisers are guaranteeing fine weather, a fast flat course lined with pretty spectators and free beer and massages at the end.
@Chris
don’t forget, the wind generally blows from the same direction when it is strong, so you will have a tailwind for pretty much the same time as the headwind
For the lack of hills, try a higher gear when training dude, and hang out over the front of the bars with your eyes shut (maybe best only to do this on the rollers….)
@fronk
Don’t be embarrassed about having gonnorhoea Fronk, plenty of people get it still – in fact, some quite famous people
@Dr C
Maybe I should slow down so that I don’t exceed the speed of the tailwind and create my own relative headwind!
@Chris
nothing like making work for yourself!
try cyling backwards into the headwind, so the wind is constantly at your back…..?
There has to be a solution