Categories: La Vie Velominatus

La Vie Velominatus: Survive On V

Kelly, V-Bank drained as always. Photo: Cor Vos

It’s a beautiful, yet cruel sport, this. It punishes you for being lazy, for being unfit, but it also punishes you when you are at the top of your game. And as for Europe, well it’s sending out all kinds of mixed messages when it comes to cycling. Everyone rides, and a good number of them do it while smoking. If it’s good enough for them…

…It’s not good enough for me. I returned from Keepers Tour with a little smoking habit, one that has been an on again/off again affair over the years; mostly off I must say, but every now and then I like to partake in a puff (usually if someone else is smoking close by, and I’m drunk). With my bike stuck in Lille and me wandering around for a week or so after the trip ended, boredom set in and smoking seemed to help relieve it, five minutes at a stinking, coughing time.

As always, the inanity of the whole procedure quickly became apparent, and after returning to New Zealand with three weeks of no riding the ol’ airbags were in need of a good clean out. The usual dread of the first ride back was there, but so were the reserves of V. Luckily it was a solo ride, as the amount of hacking and spitting would’ve put even the most grizzled of sailors off. The bike acted like a chimney sweep for my lungs.

It was a great ride. Short, yes; slow, for sure; flat, you betcha. But it was a ride, and I survived. On V. It’s become my new motto. When you think your fitness is non-existent, when you make excuses not to ride or shy away from harder routes, just remember that you’ve got The V in reserve, deep down, even if dormant. It’s always in you. It will see you through those dark days and rise to the top when needed most. Shit, it’s inscribed right there on the leg of your bibs. Look down, drink it in, breathe it in if there’s room amongst the carcinogens, and use it.

No excuses. Survive on V.

Vive la vie Velominatus.

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • Well put Brett.

    Having the V is something we all possess. It's being able to pull it out as/when required is the key to ones ability to rise above the average Joe or, at the very least, get off your arse and out on the road.

    My father, who was a head trainer/conditioner in the 80's for a few "cough" Pro Rugby League teams, always spoke of whether this or that bloke had a big "ticker" (read - possessed the V) or not. This allowed him to then help that player to either be on the field, or spend the season on the sideline. He knew that these blokes had the potential, otherwise they wouldn't have made it to that level. It was being able to get that bloke to realise the V within that was required to continue to the next level.

    I just did my first race of the season last week. I ride with the club secretary on occasion, who when signing on, told me he'd put me up a couple of grades to "see how you go". After being shat out the back of the bunch on the last lap like the proverbial turd, my first thought wasn't "these blokes are too good for me". Rather, "I'm gonna have to HTFU and dig out the V".

  • Well said, Brett.

    Saw a thing on Jesse Owens last night where they gave this quote, which seems apropos here:

    "I always loved running - it was something you could do by yourself and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs."

  • Whilst the lads make fun of a shit habit isn't it about our habits both big and small and the V is the antidote? There is no bad ride only ones that for reasons not always known stand out because of their beauty/route, or that feeling of " this was the best ride".

  • Ok Brett, everyone else is saying good job, but you know you've been a bad boy smoking behind the bike sheds and you need to be punished. When I get back to Welli with some serious French Alp's in my legs we are going to do a V peaks ride.. Better start on a course of the speed juice..

  • @eightzero

    Aye, 'tis the smoke that poured from the craggy cobbles lining the slopes of Mt. Velomis that remind us of the fire within each of us.


    Long Live The V.

    Quoted because it is fucking poetic.

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