Categories: Breaking The RulesLa Vie VelominatusLe GraveurMusings from the V-BunkerPlaces to Ride

Places to Ride: Cape Town, South Africa

The road to Chapman Peak south from Cape Town, South Africa.

I’ve never been to Africa before, although I’m not sure Cape Town counts as “Africa”. One thing I noticed is that everyone here is very skinny. I also noticed that the meal proportions served at restaurants are very modest. That shows the difference between prevention and treatment when dealing with obesity; whereas in the United States we are taking the approach of eating our way through to the other side, in Cape Town they are simply not getting fat to begin with. Interesting tactic, I wonder if there’s anything to it.

The people here are skinny skinny, not fat skinny like I am. Nothing like sitting at a beach overflowing with 20-somethings with zero body fat in swim trunks and bikinis to make you realize that you’re an old fat fuck. But I digress.

I also never imagined that I would regret not bringing my bike to Africa. In fact, I regret not bringing two bikes to Africa; on the flight from Johannesburg to Cape Town, I spied with my little eye many a twisty gravel road snaking their way over mountains in the desert. Gravelbone abounds, provided one isn’t taken down by a cobra or a rhino or a tiger or an elephant or a leopard. Especially that last one, there’s no outspeeding those.

Driving the spectacularly undulating, winding roads down to the Cape of Good Hope was a study in how to build the perfect road for Cycling. People here also don’t drive very fast, so the lack of a shoulder doesn’t even seem suicidal. Whats worse is the multitudes of skinny riders making excellent use of the riding bounties to be had. Climbone abounds.

I’m a bit angry with myself for not bringing my bike(s) or even my Cycling kit, but I intend to rectify the situation by ordering double-portions of food and looking for fitness in the bottom of wine bottles as I am given to understand you can find the solution to loads of problems there, like fortune cookies for alcoholics.

In any case, Cape Town now holds a prominent place on my list of places to ride. I’ll be buggered if I’m not bringing my bike next time.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

PeakInTwoYears says:

Nov 3 2014 at 5:59 pm

@Ccos

Traveling without kit or bike, not the skinniest guy in the area...are you involved in some witness protection program or something?

I find it hard to imagine Frank keeping that low a profile.
PeakInTwoYears says:

Nov 3 2014 at 6:03 pm

And if he deigns to respond to that, I know exactly how he will and will post proof of it after the fact.
Mikael Liddy says:

Nov 3 2014 at 6:44 pm

@Puffy you're here in Oz aren't you? Hear the rubbish spouted by a couple of docs this week that they wan't to add gastric sleeve operations on to the public health register so as to help obese people quickly lower their risk of obesity related diseases such as type 2 diabetes?

How about you teach them some fucking lessons on living life healthily or explain to them that there's a reason it's called "Survival of the Fittest"
gaswepass says:

Nov 3 2014 at 9:09 pm

@Mikael Liddy

@Puffy you're here in Oz aren't you? Hear the rubbish spouted by a couple of docs this week that they wan't to add gastric sleeve operations on to the public health register so as to help obese people quickly lower their risk of obesity related diseases such as type 2 diabetes?

How about you teach them some fucking lessons on living life healthily or explain to them that there's a reason it's called "Survival of the Fittest"

Fat people don't die off particularly early anymore- we routinely see 80 year olds well over 120kgs anymore. So, as the fittest, you can decide whether a lower risk, outpatient operation to decrease their chronic health burden (ie your tax $...), or continue to be assessed to fix all the complications as they continue to hurtle towards maximum density. Its not as darwinian as you might have hoped. 50 years ago yes.Our advanced medicines keeps people chronic stable for long long periods of time.

Of course it would be better if we all made the right choices the first time...
PeakInTwoYears says:

Nov 3 2014 at 9:51 pm

And from a strictly Darwinian point of view, if I impregnate a bunch of women and a passel o' my young 'uns goes on to reproduce et cetera and in finitum, I'm FIT. Even if I look like the Hindenburg before the flames and oh the humanity.
GogglesPizano says:

Nov 4 2014 at 7:56 am

Meanwhile up here in Canada Rule#9 prevails over all
El says:

Nov 4 2014 at 9:03 am

This obviously misses the point, but there are no wild tigers in Africa.
Teocalli says:

Nov 4 2014 at 9:49 am

@frank - Oh the shame and lack of planning. I'm only surprised that you have admitted it! We can also take it that Natural History was not your forte.
Ron says:

Nov 4 2014 at 10:57 am

@Puffy

Don't we have a rule that says "where the Velominati goes, so does his/her bike". Huh... I thought we did and observe it obsessively.

As to the fat problem. 1, your not allowed to call it fat. Well, that's what it is. No, you're not voluptuous, you are in fact fat. 2. the healthy body image thing has gone too far. I am all for a healthy body image, but when an a morbidly obese person stands up and says "I love my body just how it is and there is nothing wrong with it" I get pissed. Fine, love your heart attack waiting to happen diabetic lump of lard you created when you forgot to stop eating, but I'm not paying for medial bills to keep it alive when you hit 40. The operative word here is "HEALTHY" body (image).

Have you heard about Fat Acceptance Studies? I sadly became aware of this new academic area some are proposing is worth of it's own department. Biology, Economics, Fat Acceptance Studies. Some of the proponents actually claim that obesity is the last acceptable reason to discriminate against people.

Ha, ya right. Everyone is equal, except fat folks. Chris Christie might sue his way right into the White House.
wiscot says:

Nov 4 2014 at 10:58 am

@El

This obviously misses the point, but there are no wild tigers in Africa.

What about tame tigers? What about cougars? Any wild cougars in Africa? That might add some spice to the whole sheebang.