I walk away from social gatherings with an acute sense of accomplishment whenever I haven’t offended anyone and when my friends all stayed awake. I view myself as a bottle of wine that keeps getting better with age, but I’m slowly coming to grips with the notion that I am actually a bottle that may be corked. The great irony of life is that as we become more comfortable with who we are, we become more annoying to be around.
Fortunately, I enjoy being alone. I haven’t always felt that way, but my natural charm means I have had to cultivate a taste for it. That isn’t to say I don’t like being around others – quite the opposite – but being alone allows me the opportunity to reconnect with who I am. This is especially true when riding my bicycle. Riding alone, there is nothing to do but focus on the sensations of the ride: the wind in my face, the smells in the air, the sound of my tires as we hum along together, rider and bicycle.
Doing a long ride alone is an exercise of discipline. The little voices in your head may start quietly, but they build to crescendo inside your skull after a few hours of solitary suffering. The doors and patios on the cafés at the roadside start looking larger and more welcoming with every kilometer that passes under your tires. A point comes, on these long rides, at which Rule #5 becomes a matter of continuing on with the task; a determination to finish what you have begun.
We learn fundamental things about ourselves when we are alone in the Pain Cave, after we’ve dropped the flashlight and watched helplessly as it rolled off the shelf and into the void. Questions come knocking, and they won’t go away until you’ve dealt with them. This is when we grow, when we build confidence in the face of doubt.
We are lucky to find ourselves at crossroads where every direction leads to more suffering, where the direction we choose is irrelevant. The choice is simply to suffer or to go home. In a world where we have made a science of luxury, we Cyclists choose to suffer.
Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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@frank Don't stress, come to Toronto and we can split some crack...
@The Pressure
And some weed, and some prostitutes, and some booze.
@xyxax
Exceptionally well played, my man. +1 badge to you.
@The Pressure
Honestly, I can't think of anything better than having Chris Farley reincarnated as the mayor of a Canadian city.
A nicely written article. This ability to reconnect with oneself is one of the main reasons I enjoy cycling so much.
I'm also wondering if the craft of cycling tends to attract people with certain personality traits. Now I'm not saying that all cyclists are necessarily introverts or don't like being around people, but I would say that many introverts gravitate towards cycling. I also find that quite a few programmers and other computer-minded individuals are drawn to cycling, and of course we all know how the public perceives their... uh.. our social skills. I can say that because I'm one of them.
@le chuck Just messing with you, But the front brake housing could be shorter for a smoother arc to the caliper, rather than an acute angle looping up above the bar. Aesthetics aside, slightly less internal friction. If you run the shifter housings around to opposite sides of the head tube and cross the cables under the downtube you'll get less slop there too. Several articles here about cable routing, and many differing opinions, so don't put much weight in my words.
Are those actual old-school Vittorias or hipster reissue SPDs?
Turkey Day Ride in the bay area? Anyone up for a ride?
Evocative stuff @Frank. That last bit reminds me of Touching the Void when he is in the Glacier and decides to lower himself downwards without enough rope. "You have to keep making decisions, even if they are wrong, as soon as you stop making decisions you are dead".
As for enjoying being alone...is this not simply acclimatising yourself to others not wanting to be around you? As youngsters we get very upset when people don't seem to like us. As the years pass we simply say "This is who I am, take it or leave it, it would be nice to have you along for the ride but if it doesn't suit you then fair enough be on your way, I have a journey to complete.."
A lovely piece of writing Frank, but hard reading for me at the moment. I've recently undergone minor surgery that is taking far longer to heal due to an infection setting in and will be off the bike for an as yet to be determined amount of time. Not good days! Time to enter the psychological pain cave and tough it out.
@Mike_P Sorry to hear that, best wishes for a speedy recovery.