Solo on Haleakala. Photo: Elizabeth Keller

I walk away from social gatherings with an acute sense of accomplishment whenever I haven’t offended anyone and when my friends all stayed awake. I view myself as a bottle of wine that keeps getting better with age, but I’m slowly coming to grips with the notion that I am actually a bottle that may be corked. The great irony of life is that as we become more comfortable with who we are, we become more annoying to be around.

Fortunately, I enjoy being alone. I haven’t always felt that way, but my natural charm means I have had to cultivate a taste for it. That isn’t to say I don’t like being around others – quite the opposite – but being alone allows me the opportunity to reconnect with who I am. This is especially true when riding my bicycle. Riding alone, there is nothing to do but focus on the sensations of the ride: the wind in my face, the smells in the air, the sound of my tires as we hum along together, rider and bicycle.

Doing a long ride alone is an exercise of discipline. The little voices in your head may start quietly, but they build to crescendo inside your skull after a few hours of solitary suffering. The doors and patios on the cafés at the roadside start looking larger and more welcoming with every kilometer that passes under your tires. A point comes, on these long rides, at which Rule #5 becomes a matter of continuing on with the task; a determination to finish what you have begun.

We learn fundamental things about ourselves when we are alone in the Pain Cave, after we’ve dropped the flashlight and watched helplessly as it rolled off the shelf and into the void. Questions come knocking, and they won’t go away until you’ve dealt with them. This is when we grow, when we build confidence in the face of doubt.

We are lucky to find ourselves at crossroads where every direction leads to more suffering, where the direction we choose is irrelevant. The choice is simply to suffer or to go home. In a world where we have made a science of luxury, we Cyclists choose to suffer.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • So true! But sometimes it's like this: There is no choice. You have to suffer to get home.

  • This resonates with me as most of my road riding is done on my own.  I enjoy riding with a group, but found that I did more riding and did more riding that benefits my form if I ventured out on my own.

  • Kindred sprit. I starting riding in 1978 commuting in the D.C. area. 16 miles to work always solo. Being lazy I would ride as fast as I could to enable me to sleep a little later in the morning. Wonderful "quiet time" on the bike just as you said. I continue to do 95% of my training solo and even in organized events like RAMROD spend most of my time solo. Might hook up with a group on the flats just to go fast but when we hit the climbs I just focus on the task at hand.... be past by a few people as possible and nobody my age (60). Viva V

  • @frank, When I read "The great irony of life is that as we become more comfortable with who we are, we become more annoying to be around." I laughed out loud, it's just so very true.

    Further, this could not be more relevant at the moment. I posted the following update to facebook: "I feel the desperate need to go on one of those 100+ mile rides that I'm totally unprepared for. A soul crushing sort of ride that allows you to renew and rebuild, better and stronger."

    I can think of no better way to smack myself out of the ice cream sandwich induced funk I've been in for the past several weeks than to pedal my way through all this negativity and directly to the answers I seek.

  • @grumbledook wow, awesome video... don't know if you've seen it already, but you should check out the bbc documentary series "the man who cycled the world" and "the man who cycled the americas". You can find it on youtube, awesome stuff too...

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