I’m not sure where this ride falls on the graph of fitness but down towards the bottom, somewhere.
There can be a point in every rider’s season where each ride ends the same. FFS, I suck. The unabridged volume of self-loathing is reviewed, cogent chapters reread, aloud, in the bathroom. I’m Too Fat To Climb is a chapter I like to quote, chapter and verse.
Luckily stubbornness, the right amount of dumb and experience keep me from throwing my steed in a dumpster. None of us do walk away from our bikes because we have all gone through this, maybe every year. You keep going out, doing the rides, coming home to pull that damn book off the shelf. What happened? Life got in the way again.
We remember being good cyclists. We used to dance up those hills, a slow dance maybe but we danced. The bike and human were one, united in the pleasure and pain of covering vast amounts of ground. But now it’s just sweating, head down graceless riding, listening to friends disappear up the road as they merrily chat away.
Then without warning on a subsequent ride, it happens. Is it cooler? Do I have a tailwind? Did I double down on my espresso? What is going on here? This is the Ah-Ha ride; one of the best rides of the year. Bike would, if it could, be saying, where the hell have you been? There may be no fitness or grace going on yet but there they are, out there on the horizon. And they are getting a little closer. All I want is that signal from the body that improvement is possible. These pointless rides are not pointless. That psychic burden can float away; that idiot book can stay on the shelf. I am a cyclist.
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This is timely for me. "FFS, I suck" has been my motto all year, for reasons I don't need to go into. But just now, just before reading this, I did an actual, structured interval workout, the first in I don't know how long. It felt really good. It will have been the first of many such rides this fall and winter, I hereby swear and affirm. I seriously intend to suck less next year. And I intend to enjoy the trip there.
This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuN7kOW7iwo
@the Engine
Sweet jesus, I do hope I'm not subliminally channeling Alan Partridge now. He is in there, I do my best to keep him buried with the other voices in my head.
@PeakInTwoYears
I hear ya. Once I know things may be moving in the positive direction then the trips to the pain cave are a lot more fun. Slogging for slogging's sake, not so much.
Nice one Gianni.
"Then without warning on a subsequent ride, it happens. Is it cooler? Do I have a tailwind? Did I double down on my espresso? What is going on here? This is the Ah-Ha ride; one of the best rides of the year."
This! After suffering through weeks of blah, no improvement then BOOM! its a great feeling and always seems to come without warning.
I usually have an Ah-Ha ride or two in the spring, typically related to dropping heavy fluttering winter kit as the weather warms. One year's felt especially good until it became clear that the way out had been wind-aided.
Oh, Merckx. It's been so long since I felt consistently good on the bike. The last really good ride that I did, I wrote a one-sentence entry in the journal: "Today, I felt like a cyclist."
Oh boy, definitely been in this situation. Like, right now! My hours in the saddle have dropped drastically of late, but it's okay, I just have other stuff going on.
I'm in my fall "soul surfing" mode though - just trying to enjoy being out in the fresh air on the bike. Trying to not allow lack of form to bother me. Soccer twice a week, 1.5 hours of daily commuting, some cross rides and road rides when I can fit them in. I know I'm off form, but damn, riding a bike is still fun.
VLVV
This is one of the advantages of coming to serious cycling later in life.
While I've always been a commuting or recreational cyclist I really only started proper road cycling in my late 30s,racing in my 40s and dedicated training in the last couple of years. Living on my own 80% of the time has helped.
Consequently I find myself on a happy curve of continuing improvement, so far. I know at some point the curves will cross or I will lose form and suffer. Perhaps that will be version of the Ah-Ha ride.
This is so so so true, Gianni.
On every long ride, I can set my watch by it: starting at the 150km mark, I'll hate myself, my bike, and everything about it. 20km will go by. I'll love myself, my bike, and everything about it. a headwind will appear, {lather, rinse, repeat}.