No words survive here, only echoes. Echoes of our hopes, of our plans, of our failures. What we thought we might do when we came here is little more than a shadow; it flickers on the walls for a moment and when we turn to look, it is gone. Doubts swell up and bounce off the walls until they become so loud they can no longer be heard.
Once we’ve entered, we can not return the way we came; the only way out is to descend into the darkness and through to the other side. When we emerge, we will breathe a new life, one where we are able to push a bit harder, and suffer a bit more. It is a better world, one with opportunity. One where we can make things happen because we have discovered a new limit of our will.
Pushing deeper into The Cave is learned over time. When we first enter, we will find ourselves in a small cavern with no apparent exit. As we train and explore its darkest corners, we discover a passage. We gather our courage and slip into a larger, darker cavern to explore. Beyond that, there lies another. Each holds its own unique strain of suffering, but with it comes also a degree of control; the choice to enter is ours and ours alone.
When I’m strong, my mind yearns for the cleansing qualities of The Cave. I feel almost the master of my pain, that I command its ebbs and flows. Even on days that don’t require it, I will hurt myself just to prove I can. When I’m chasing my fitness, however, I approach it with the same reluctance I had as a child when made to eat my vegetables. The suffering flows over me in waves and I am at the mercy of its current.
My training this summer has been erratic and unstructured. I’ve had some great periods, and just as I’ve neared a goal, either illness or travel unexpectedly reared up before me and interrupted my progress. A week away from the bike means another two weeks before I find myself back to where I was. Two weeks of drifting like a leaf in the current. Two weeks of knowing what lies beyond, unable to reach it.
Then the breakthrough, and into the next cavern. It is only through contemplating the darkest corners of The Cave that we discover its deepest passages and it is within the deepest passages that we may discover our purest selves.
Have courage and follow the path into The Cave. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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The cave is the reason I love to ride.
To find the cave, I've discovered that I need to empty my jersey pockets of the comforts that can turn a ride into a sunday stroll down the boulevard. Things like gels, snacks, music, etc can dampen the feel of the ride lull you into an almost sleep-like state and trick you into believing you're all V.
love the article, looking forward to recovering from injury and perhaps revisiting the cave.
by the way, thats sean kelly above not robert millar. During his commentary on yesterday´s vuelta, as riders approached 100km/hr, the other commentator asked him what was your top speed Sean? 103, 104km/hr? Kelly casually replied "124km/hr", then quickly moved back to the vuelta..
I believe it is Millar; Kelly never rode w/LeMond on the Zed team. They do have similar expressions when in the cave!
@john
Words of the highest quality as always.
Occasionally, a troll stumbles across this place, and doesn't get it. They tell us to ride more and type less, they think we care more about how we look than how we ride, they do make me laugh. They don't get we want to look pro, because of how the icons of the sport ride or rode. If just a drop of that V could touch us and inspire us, how much more ecstatic we would be. The rule that transcends all rules, is of course rule V
"If you have everything under control, you're not moving fast enough."
Mario Andretti
@john
Sean Kelly never rode for Team Z, that's Millar.
"the choice to enter is ours and ours alone."
So, so true... I look back and although memories for pain are dim (other wise why would we go climb the mountain next year?), I wonder if I ever entered the deepest darkest sanctum in the pain cave? The room with little air, no light, and no seeming exit!
Im sure I got close but the funny part is I just can not replay the tape and it makes me wonder if I should have pushed myself more and harder. Would I have been first that day on the mountain? Was that spring snow storm an excuse for 6th? Was 5 th in that sprint really my best....?
One thing for sure, after bike racing there is nothing that gets me past the waiting room when I go spelunking in the pain cave!
Nice one Frank.
Very nice, Frank!
Yep, put me in the camp of unstructured summer riding. I'd been doing a lot of 2-3 hour rides, but mainly just training tempo. I thought I was in okay shape, knew (and was okay with) not being in the best shape.
Then CX training rides began and I tried to ride with the As/1s. Hmm, a very quick reminder that form is laking and boy, does it hurt to enter the Cave when you haven't visited it enough lately. Getting back acquainted is such a strange experience. It really hurts, but even single time you nearly blow up, it gets easier and hurts less. What a conundrum, but I guess that is why we keep at it.
I stand corrected - Millar not Kelly, though i think he was channeling Kelly on that particular visit to the cave!
@john
And that looks like Lemond behind him with Frank's drop-in Scott bars. And yes, he does appear to be channeling Kelly.
@john
Yes, Kelly was a frequenter of the pain cave, but that is Millar and what he's got there is V Face.
Kelly could do it too, that's for sure.
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