Rober Millar goes deep into the Pain Cave.

No words survive here, only echoes. Echoes of our hopes, of our plans, of our failures. What we thought we might do when we came here is little more than a shadow; it flickers on the walls for a moment and when we turn to look, it is gone. Doubts swell up and bounce off the walls until they become so loud they can no longer be heard.

Once we’ve entered, we can not return the way we came; the only way out is to descend into the darkness and through to the other side. When we emerge, we will breathe a new life, one where we are able to push a bit harder, and suffer a bit more. It is a better world, one with opportunity. One where we can make things happen because we have discovered a new limit of our will.

Pushing deeper into The Cave is learned over time. When we first enter, we will find ourselves in a small cavern with no apparent exit. As we train and explore its darkest corners, we discover a passage. We gather our courage and slip into a larger, darker cavern to explore. Beyond that, there lies another. Each holds its own unique strain of suffering, but with it comes also a degree of control; the choice to enter is ours and ours alone.

When I’m strong, my mind yearns for the cleansing qualities of The Cave. I feel almost the master of my pain, that I command its ebbs and flows. Even on days that don’t require it, I will hurt myself just to prove I can. When I’m chasing my fitness, however, I approach it with the same reluctance I had as a child when made to eat my vegetables. The suffering flows over me in waves and I am at the mercy of its current.

My training this summer has been erratic and unstructured. I’ve had some great periods, and just as I’ve neared a goal, either illness or travel unexpectedly reared up before me and interrupted my progress. A week away from the bike means another two weeks before I find myself back to where I was. Two weeks of drifting like a leaf in the current. Two weeks of knowing what lies beyond, unable to reach it.

Then the breakthrough, and into the next cavern. It is only through contemplating the darkest corners of The Cave that we discover its deepest passages and it is within the deepest passages that we may discover our purest selves.

Have courage and follow the path into The Cave. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @the Engine

    @frank

    @Nate

    @john

    what was your top speed Sean? 103, 104km/hr? Kelly casually replied "124km/hr", then quickly moved back to the vuelta..

    Surely that is too low. It must have been 130 (as in, "one-terty").

    Perhaps more apropos would be "One Turdie" as surely we'd shit ourselves at that speed.

    Was listening to the Eurosport commentary at the Dauphine Libre during the descent of the Joux Plane this year and Kelly was asked the same question. Again he said 124km/r and went on to explain that this was during the 1984 Tour on the descent to Morzine. Then he paused and added "I was passed by a Swiss rider (Niki Ruttimann?) and I couldn't keep up with him"

    I did 80km/r on the northern descent of the Cairn o'Mount on the Cogal and felt that I was most definitely getting near my maker. I was going in a straight line and the pros are going round corners, eating their lunch and shaking out the old legs at that speed.

    Since we are all dick measuring our top speeds here (or what would be the feminine of that one?  clitorus measuring??) ... anyways, I hit just over 90 kph (56.5 mph) on the backside descent of Mount Mansfield in VT in a USCF race there in 1990.  Sacred the LIVING shit out of me.  We were still in the bunch descending and I thought I was going to die.  Checked the max speed on the avocet at the end of the race and could not believe it.  Never have come close again.

  • @il ciclista medio

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot Alright, I'll bite. I guess that one could say with a little certainty that that is Claude Criquielion in the background. Kind of looks like his ear.

    and they would have to be one of the most impressive set of eyebrows I have ever seen

    Yeah, between Claudy C and Peter van Petegem, I think they jointly hold the title of swarthiest Belgian. Five minutes after shaving, they have black stubble.

  • @Buck Rogers

    Scared the LIVING shit out of me

    Man I hear ya.  I managed to get a frame wobble on when I was descending the Tourmalet last year. The Garmin told me it'd been around 72kph.  My mind was multi-tasking...f*ck this is going to REALLY hurt, f*ckety f*ck my wife is not gonna enjoy the phone call from the French hospital.  Got it under control but it slowed me down for the rest of the week. I think I've overcome the problem this year with a lower stem and better weight distribution (thanks @Frank!).

  • @wiscot

    @il ciclista medio

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot Alright, I'll bite. I guess that one could say with a little certainty that that is Claude Criquielion in the background. Kind of looks like his ear.

    and they would have to be one of the most impressive set of eyebrows I have ever seen

    Yeah, between Claudy C and Peter van Petegem, I think they jointly hold the title of swarthiest Belgian. Five minutes after shaving, they have black stubble.

    Looks uncannily like some of the local women here in Surrey Lanka. The local groceries have laser hair removal clinics at the back.

  • @il ciclista medio

    @Buck Rogers

    @wiscot Alright, I'll bite. I guess that one could say with a little certainty that that is Claude Criquielion in the background. Kind of looks like his ear.

    and they would have to be one of the most impressive set of eyebrows I have ever seen

    Ha!  No shit!  That Dude is rock'in one hell of a Uni-Brow on STEROIDS!

  • @starclimber Man!  That's just RUDE!  We would roll up some women in Iraq occasional on hits and my medical partner or I would have to do an intake physical on them and I have to say, they were some of the hairiest women I have ever met.  And I really do not mind if women do not shave but these bomb making women were NASTY!!!

  • @Buck Rogers

     

    @starclimber

    Man! That's just RUDE! We would roll up some women in Iraq occasional on hits and my medical partner or I would have to do an intake physical on them and I have to say, they were some of the hairiest women I have ever met. And I really do not mind if women do not shave but these bomb making women were NASTY!!!

    Trying to pull us back to cycling......!

  • Good luck @Mike_P!  After meeting and knowing buck for the past year, i still cant figure out what sort of meds he gets his hands on...the stuff that comes out his mouth is always from left field!

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