The Cyclist

The chiselled guns of a Cyclist

Being away from the bike is agony. Even for the day, while I’m at work, my mind swims about, thinking about my next ride. I worry that I won’t be home early enough to get the ride in that I’d planned – or worse yet – ride at all. I agonize over my decision not to ride in the morning, or to work, hoping one missed day doesn’t turn into two doesn’t turn into a week.

I wonder at which bike I’ll choose; I can visualize them hanging there, in the workshop, quietly waiting to be set free from their prison – a bike is only free when it’s being ridden. I imagine they discuss among themselves which is entitled to be ridden next; they might even place wagers on which will be the lucky one. I’m not sure with what bicycles might place wagers, perhaps a bit of grease for a creaking quick-release that I haven’t noticed yet.

All day, I evaluate how my body feels. Sitting folded up at a desk is a horrible place to judge one’s weight; I’ll lean against the desk’s edge and wonder if there was less of me touching it yesterday. I’ll feel the muscles in my thighs as I cross my legs in a conference room, and judge whether they feel stronger than the day before. Sometimes I’ll feel for the fibers in my muscles with my fingertips and then realize that the other people in the room with me probably find it odd that I’m rubbing my legs absentmindedly. To be fair, I find it odd that they don’t know what it feels like to be in shape.

It is a mystery whether I’ll be strong on the bike today or not. At the office, there is no way to know how I will feel; I won’t really know until I put in a real effort, which usually happens on the first climb of the day. Strength is a strange thing; the other day I felt blocked during my warmup but hit the top corner of the first climb so fast I almost lost my front wheel. Almost losing your front wheel in a corner on a climb is a special feeling.

Tim Krabbé wrote, “Non-riders. The emptiness of those lives shocks me.” Indeed; we are Cyclists, the rest of the world merely rides a bike.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Rule #55: Earn Your Turns »

Previous « In Memoriam: The Funny Bike

View Comments

Ccos says:

Sep 3 2015 at 4:42 pm

@Ron

Oh god…I’ve felt me belly pressing against my desk edge lately as well & found myself wondering. Not fun.

In residency we called it "beeper obliterans" when the belly became big enough, when seated, to flop over the pager and obliterate any pages coming through (at the time only doctors and drug dealer were using pagers, now only doctors use the things). Now I suspect uber-nerds who wear their cell phones on their belt experience the same thing. Thankfully thanks to my bike, I find myself un-afflicted.
SamV says:

Sep 3 2015 at 4:57 pm

@RobSandy

@SamV

@rfreese888

Question: What does one actually feel for when inspecting the guns? should they feel harder or just less sore and more recovered?

Basically they should be more pliable than not when pressed. If they actually feel hard to the touch in a relaxed position, you’ve got some self-care to attend to.

You mean you don’t spend most of the day flexing all the different muscles of your quads and touching them?

No, I do. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do though...at least physiologically.

@teocalli

@SamV

………….feel hard to the touch in a relaxed position, you’ve got some self-care to attend to.

Sorry what were we talking about here?

Haha possibly that too...
Barracuda says:

Sep 3 2015 at 5:56 pm

@Bespoke

@frank

@Bespoke

I don’t know what’s creeping me out more. The narcissism of the thigh rubbing or the fact that the bottom of his bibs line up perfectly with the surface of the podium.

If narcissism creeps you out, then I am sorry to inform you that you need to find another community.

I wouldn’t know what to do with all of the mirrors I’ve had installed. Hung exactly horizontally, of course!

Mirrors ? Thats what shop windows are for innit ?
wilburrox says:

Sep 3 2015 at 7:05 pm

@chris

@frank

@Phillip Mercer

I was at work the other day after having done my usual fast Friday group ride in the morning where my plans changed that after work I’d meet my wife at my parents’ place, triple the distance I’d normally commute home. I was excited. I looked forward to taking the route that I don’t take too often, thinking about how I was going to power up the rolling terrain and hold a decent average speed. My heart broke however when I got on the bike that afternoon and two k’s in I could feel my legs complaining about that morning’s effort. It wasn’t until 7k’s to go until they came back. I’m glad they came back but I missed them mid-ride.

The super ultra secret of Rule #5 is that you just keep fucking pushing and eventually your body will stop complaining and then you’ll fly. That is, right until the wheels really come off the bus and then you’re really truly, properly fucked.

The Velominipper and budding pedalwan rode the last Club Ten of the season last night. He came out of the last round about sprinting side by side with his minute man and two minute man (also twelve years old) but was losing ground on the faster of the other two. He sat down, got up and went again but you could see he was fucked and couldn’t put any more in.

It was only later when he got his time that he’d knocked 39 seconds of his previous best and well over minute of his first attempt in June.

That's super cool stuff there. You riding behind ? The little ones are a blast to watch knock off PR's with just about every new attempt at a TT. We alternate between a 10 miler flat as a pancake and a 2km up hill effort. The young lady in my house may very well break 30 minutes with next effort on the 10m. That'll be a decent effort for 11 yr old on Jr gearing. I love this snapshot of her recently finishing the 2km effort. Bikes and kids are the best. Cheers
RM2RIDE says:

Sep 3 2015 at 10:41 pm

Those first 2 sentences? Spot on: "Being away from the bike is agony. Even for the day, while I’m at work, my mind swims about, thinking about my next ride. I worry that I won’t be home early enough to get the ride in that I’d planned – or worse yet – ride at all."

The grueling calculus of it all: Need to work late; need to see the VMH; need to get the kids to music lessons/sports practice/homework; need to put food in the fridge, the pet, the children... Agonizing to know that too too often life intrudes on the ability to get on the steed and RIDE, dammit.

And then, on every good day: click, click, and off we go.
rfreese888 says:

Sep 4 2015 at 12:23 am

@SamV

@RobSandy

@SamV

@rfreese888

Question: What does one actually feel for when inspecting the guns? should they feel harder or just less sore and more recovered?

Basically they should be more pliable than not when pressed. If they actually feel hard to the touch in a relaxed position, you’ve got some self-care to attend to.

You mean you don’t spend most of the day flexing all the different muscles of your quads and touching them?

No, I do. Doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do though…at least physiologically.

Suppose the obvious answer is always most likely to be right. I keep an eye on the guns mostly at beginning and end of day, and when on or near the bike. I know they are sore or not on a flight of stairs, and try to roll them / stretch them after heavy rides.

I was in awe of one man's guns on a climb in the Sean Kelly Tour of Waterford a couple of weeks ago. They looked like the photo on this post.

Stroke by stroke, weights this winter, the guns of Navarone will shine!
RobSandy says:

Sep 4 2015 at 1:29 am

Also, the lead photo...Nicolas Roche?
chris says:

Sep 4 2015 at 1:30 am

@wilburrox

Sub 30 for an 11 year old?! That's incredibly strong work. She'll be faster than the lot of us before you know it! Great photo too.

I rode behind Angus the first 2 or three times but once he's demonstrated that he wan't going to be a danger to himself or the general public he was allowed to go off alone. It'll be interesting to see how much he progresses next year but sub 30 might be pushing it, it far from a flat course.
portemat says:

Sep 4 2015 at 1:51 am

I am racing on Sunday. My first proper race, and also the first ride I have that I have trained/worked/prepared hard for. I am even flying to a different country to do it (Denmark).

So I am now 'tapering'. Which seems to be a way to say 'not riding'. After over 2 months of hard training (riding or turbo almost every day), this weeks single ride & 2 easy turbo sessions just do not feel enough.

I 'know' that being rested before Sunday us important. It just feels so much harder to do nothing than I thought it would!
KogaLover says:

Sep 4 2015 at 1:52 am

@wilburrox

Just out of curiosity, being a dad and so on: are those regular size wheels (700-23) or smaller wheels? What gearing is a junior gearing? thanks!