The Goldilocks Principle: Valve Stem Length

Keep it short and clean…

The Goldilocks Principle is under assault, balance is lost. Without balance, we are reduced to savages. Steerectile dysfunction is spreading like wildfire; socks are quickly becoming knee-highs and the line between shorts and knickers continues to blur.

We spend considerable time making everything on our loyal steed fit and look perfect. Bar tape and tire color are carefully coordinated to frame and decals; the tape is wrapped and finished expertly. Saddles are positioned with a spirit level. Cables are cut to the shortest length possible to allow for smooth and friction-free braking and shifting. Cable ends are trimmed to the shortest sensible length. Tires are mounted with labels mounted directly above the valve. And yet the valve stems themselves have recklessly been allowed to grow ever longer.

The Prophet and De Vlaeminck didn’t ride around with 5cm of valve stem sticking out of their rims. Granted, they only had one length to choose from, but that one length stems were made in was obvious: as short as possible. Valve stems need to be managed just like everything else on our bikes. They need to protrude from the rim enough to allow for a pump head to be securely attached to it; anything more is ugly and dead weight. (Incidentally, if you are using a pump with a screw-on head like a Lezyne or Silca, then this means all you need is the threads of the valve core plus a few millimeters to allow for the head to securely thread on.)

For those among us riding deep section rims, forget the long-stem inner tubes. Buy tubes with 32mm stems with removable cores and use the shortest valve extender possible. Under no circumstances should one use an inner tube without removable cores. It is important, however, that upon removing the tube from its package and before installing it or placing it in your kit, that the core be removed and reinstalled using a small wrap of plumber’s tape; this will ensure that the core does not unthread with your pump head, causing a disappointing deflation of both spirit and tire.

Bring back the balance. Stop this long valve madness and get thee to your local bike shop for some fresh, short-stemmed tubes.

We are not savages, my children. We are the Velominati. Vive la Vie Velominatus.

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frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

frank says:

Jan 13 2014 at 1:37 pm

@Nate

Where was this article before?

Most of those stems are a wee bit too short to get a Silca pumphead onto.

My silca that @Scaler911 gave me screws on there just fine, but it's possible that the old silca pump heads that sucked ass don't work.

@TBONE You forget that what they call things in Canada is usually wrong.
Nate says:

Jan 13 2014 at 1:40 pm

@frank

@Nate

Where was this article before?

Most of those stems are a wee bit too short to get a Silca pumphead onto.

My silca that @Scaler911 gave me screws on there just fine, but it's possible that the old silca pump heads that sucked ass don't work.

Proper Silca heads neither screw on nor suck ass.
Deakus says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:12 pm

@frank

@Kevin Morice, @Michael Brown

Have some self respect for Merckx sake. Get a descent valve extender and the pumber's tape and there will be no leaking. Problem Solvers makes a great one. Claiming your incompetence in being able to make a seal is hardly a reason to avoid a sensible product.

Among the advantages, they are lighter, you can use one standard tube in your kit and just move your extender across from the punctured tire to the spare regardless of if you're riding deep or shallow section rims, they look better, and they are way lighter.

Put that in your tub glue pail and sniff it.

Surely this is over complicating matters. Simply ride with the correct length inner tubes for the wheels you are riding on. I have two types of wheel...shallow and mid. I ride short stems on my shallows and mid stems on my mids. I also have two sets of spare inner tubes and carry the correct length inner for the ride in question. This ensures that the correct amount of pokeage is occuring on my rims at any particular moment in time...

This is not rocket science, and people it is very simple and aesthetically pleasing. It also works perfectly for those using Co2 (light the blue touch paper I am out of here!)
Glenn says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:28 pm

@Kevin Morice Second that. I've had roadside changes on flats where the valve hung open and/or the valve extension wouldn't seal. It was mostly due to one lot of tubes I bought, but all the same, headaches avoidable with just enough exposed valve stem to get a chuck on.
wiscot says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:40 pm

I dunno. Valve extenders are just adding an unnecessary part to the mix and something that could go wrong/malfunction. A single, unextended valve seems to be the true way - the way of simplicity and efficiency.

I don't know how long my valve stems are, for me they are the right length to slip the head of my floor pump over and they are smooth barreled so there are no threads to ruin the rubber gasket.

Last year I did almost 10K kms with nary a puncture on the road. I carry a co 2 cannister and the wee chuck part. It it ain't broke, I ain't fixing it.
ChrisO says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:44 pm

@Deakus

Surely this is over complicating matters. Simply ride with the correct length inner tubes for the wheels you are riding on.

And if you have an asymmetrical wheelset, carry two tubes ? Four on long rides...

I call bullshit on the 'way lighter' comment though Frank.

If 28mm of added stem is a significant problem then I'm not sure whether to congratulate you on eliminating every other milligram of weight over your bike or commiserate on your pathetic weakness that a few grams should so adversely affect performance.
Chris says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:47 pm

Vittoria tubulars. They come with a stubby little screw thread onto which the appropriate valve stem is the attached. Perfect stem lengths. No excuses. Simple.
unversio says:

Jan 13 2014 at 2:57 pm

I have accepted the look of 48 mm black french barrel Chambre 0.73 mm innertube from Mavic. What else is there to say, "They're smooth and black!" And if there is any superstition about this, then I expect no flats any time soon. It's been over a year.
unversio says:

Jan 13 2014 at 3:15 pm

I like Mavic.
Jamie says:

Jan 13 2014 at 3:16 pm

Oh dear Lord, I think Frank just ran out of things to write about. Spring cannot come soon enough.