Waiting for the Man

Big Mig, waiting for an appointment with the Man with the Hammer.

You have three questions going through your mind:
How far to go?
How hard am I trying?
Is the pace sustainable for that distance?
If the answer is “yes”, that means you’re not trying hard enough. If it’s no, it’s too late to do anything about it. You’re looking for the answer “maybe”.

Chris Boardman, on The Hour Record, Rouleur

Cyclists, whether on the start line of a race or at the café before a group ride, are a chatty bunch. How’s your training going? The legs feeling alright? How do you like Di2? I could never go electronic, need to feel the cable, you know – need to be connected to my bike.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “substantive conversation”; we are more leg than brain, after all. But no matter how good the form has been, we are always worried that it has somehow left us, and worry tends to make the mouth go. Chatter distracts the mind from the doubts that should have been nagging us the last month about our training, but who only turned up about ten minutes before we arrived to the start, long after there was anything we could do about it.

The Contre la Montre, on the other hand, always shows a different rider. No matter how dominant the rider, they are always deep in thought, never chuckling, never grinning. There is no one to lighten the mood, no distracting the mind from the pain and inherent uncertainty of the body’s ability to cope with the suffering that is to come. There is an appointment with the Man with the Hammer somewhere on the road you are about to travel down; he is as unpredictable as he is ruthless.

The rider who waits on the start line of a time trial is a rider who is squaring up with the reality that no matter the state of their training, they are waiting for the man.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Dialing in the Stable »

Previous « On Rule #33: The Sagan Clause

View Comments

David Booth Beers says:

Sep 3 2016 at 4:52 am

@Oli

If ever I had twenty-six dollars in my jersey pocket, it would be 20 too many and I'd be obligated to buy a frothy coffee drink for the next cyclist who hobbled into the cafe in cleats behind me. If one needs more than VI dollars on a ride, best to sign up for Apple Pay.

I ~~ran~~ rode down to the leveeBut the Devil caught me theretook my twenty dollar billAnd vanished in the air
Buck Rogers says:

Sep 3 2016 at 5:28 am

@Oli

@KogaLover

@Buck Rogers

@Oli

Got twenty-six dollars in my hand…just in case I need to stop at a cafe.

You got me again, Oli. Which famous cyclist said this??? (and that famous cyclist better not be Oli!)

Bowie, and he’s dead. Didn’t know he rode a bike though…

Bowie? BOWIE?? It’s Lou Reed!

Fucking brilliant! Love it!
Teocalli says:

Sep 3 2016 at 9:51 am

Talking of coffee. Visited a new (to me) roaster today and they are experimenting with Cold Brew Coffee. Apparently it's the latest hot (well cold) thing on the West Coast. Interesting. They had two variants, just plain cold brew and cold brew in a keg with nitrogen gas pressure. It comes out a bit like Guinness with a head that settles out (Espresso Guinness).

The nitrogen keg variant had a much deeper flavour than the plain cold brew and it was the same bean being used. Knocked spots off the plain version. Strong stuff too. Most interesting.
Sparty says:

Sep 3 2016 at 1:17 pm

TT racing to me is less about "waiting for the man" and more about "seeking out the man". Once you find him, the goal is to ride with him until the last kilometer and then try and leave him behind. Easier said than done. But if you do it this way, you will have to be helped off your bike after the finish line. If you have a crit later in the day, don't ride with the man or you will be pulled from the crit after the first 20 minutes. This story is true.
Mikael Liddy says:

Sep 4 2016 at 9:49 pm

@litvi

What I want to know is what event is that shot of Big Mig from? The logos on his chest seem to indicate something linked to the '92 Barcelona Olympics, but given he's in his trade team kit that's unlikely, and I seem to remember that being the last one without the pros.
Oli says:

Sep 4 2016 at 10:58 pm

@Mikael Liddy

I'm pretty sure that's taken before the Luxembourg TT at the 1992 Tour de France; as one of Spain's biggest banks, and with the '92 Olympics being held later that year in Barcelona, Banesto was an Olympic sponsor, hence the advertising on his kit for that and the Seville Expo also.
ChrisO says:

Sep 5 2016 at 10:07 am

@wiscot

@RobSandy

@ChrisO

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Seriously? Every TT I’ve done (apart from club ones) has been with the ‘seeded’ numbering. You know the fast guys if they are a multiple of 10. Maybe one day I’ll be a multiple of 5, one day.

I forgot to add, tradition held that the first rider off (#1) was a member of the organizing club. This was done on the understanding that he/she knew the course well and would stop and fill in for a missing turn marshall if needed. Ahhhh, the good old days.

I looked into this a bit more, wondering if maybe I just hadn't noticed. There seem to be several camps,

The CTT regulations do indeed suggest that top riders have 5 minutes between them but it's pretty vague and just says 'faster' riders.

However there's been some suggestion that it can mean substantially different conditions for people who should be posting similar times so there are events which just seed slowest to fastest.

But that leaves open the idea of riding 'in company' because if a rider is caught then the speed differential will not be so great. So there are also some races where people seed fast/slow in an odd/even pattern.

This has of course been taken as a quite severe provocation on the TT forum, which seems to thrive on perpetual niggly controversy.

Just don't mention the 3cm rule.
wiscot says:

Sep 6 2016 at 8:35 am

@ChrisO

@wiscot

@RobSandy

@ChrisO

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Seriously? Every TT I’ve done (apart from club ones) has been with the ‘seeded’ numbering. You know the fast guys if they are a multiple of 10. Maybe one day I’ll be a multiple of 5, one day.

I forgot to add, tradition held that the first rider off (#1) was a member of the organizing club. This was done on the understanding that he/she knew the course well and would stop and fill in for a missing turn marshall if needed. Ahhhh, the good old days.

I looked into this a bit more, wondering if maybe I just hadn’t noticed. There seem to be several camps,

The CTT regulations do indeed suggest that top riders have 5 minutes between them but it’s pretty vague and just says ‘faster’ riders.

However there’s been some suggestion that it can mean substantially different conditions for people who should be posting similar times so there are events which just seed slowest to fastest.

But that leaves open the idea of riding ‘in company’ because if a rider is caught then the speed differential will not be so great. So there are also some races where people seed fast/slow in an odd/even pattern.

This has of course been taken as a quite severe provocation on the TT forum, which seems to thrive on perpetual niggly controversy.

Just don’t mention the 3cm rule.

If I remember my TT rules correctly, a caught rider should drop back immediately and not draft. Not that that stopped guys from doing it though. Often a well-directed profanity helped dissuade him and there was always the implied threat of reporting the draftee to the timekeeper. The beauty of the seeding system, if done properly, meant that the riders in the 1,2,3,4, 6,7,8,9 numbers were somewhat evenly matched. The faster guys, the 5s and 10s, should be fast enough to catch and drop the other numbers and not encounter another 5 or 10.

Obree caught everyone, but always had the manners to shout "dig in" as he scorched past.
RobSandy says:

Sep 6 2016 at 11:22 am

@wiscot

@ChrisO

If I remember my TT rules correctly, a caught rider should drop back immediately and not draft. Not that that stopped guys from doing it though. Often a well-directed profanity helped dissuade him and there was always the implied threat of reporting the draftee to the timekeeper. The beauty of the seeding system, if done properly, meant that the riders in the 1,2,3,4, 6,7,8,9 numbers were somewhat evenly matched. The faster guys, the 5s and 10s, should be fast enough to catch and drop the other numbers and not encounter another 5 or 10.

Obree caught everyone, but always had the manners to shout “dig in” as he scorched past.

I remember going across a roundabout on my very first TT and catching a glimpse of a rider approaching me from behind out of the corner of my eye. I knew he was about to pass and was really conscious I shouldn't go anywhere near his rear wheel and risk drafting; he shot past like I was stationary. I couldn't have held his wheel if I'd have sprinted. Turned out to be one of our strong club riders on a short 21 (I think I did a mid-25 IIRC).

Also read a delightful story about Sean Yates catching and passing a French rider in a Grand Tour TT, and the guy sitting on his wheel. He ignored the barrage of profanities but eventually got the message when Sean managed to spit in his face.
Ron says:

Sep 7 2016 at 9:02 am

Lining up for cross races is bad enough for my nerves; I think I'll avoid TTs.

I'm mightily chatty on group rides, but I really don't like talking about form, power meters, etc. I'm into bikes and going fast, not data. But, I know cycling attracts former/current math nerds and the like. I'm glad your form is good, but I don't wanna hear about it...

Nice one, Frank!