Waiting for the Man

Big Mig, waiting for an appointment with the Man with the Hammer.

You have three questions going through your mind:
How far to go?
How hard am I trying?
Is the pace sustainable for that distance?
If the answer is “yes”, that means you’re not trying hard enough. If it’s no, it’s too late to do anything about it. You’re looking for the answer “maybe”.

Chris Boardman, on The Hour Record, Rouleur

Cyclists, whether on the start line of a race or at the café before a group ride, are a chatty bunch. How’s your training going? The legs feeling alright? How do you like Di2? I could never go electronic, need to feel the cable, you know – need to be connected to my bike.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call it “substantive conversation”; we are more leg than brain, after all. But no matter how good the form has been, we are always worried that it has somehow left us, and worry tends to make the mouth go. Chatter distracts the mind from the doubts that should have been nagging us the last month about our training, but who only turned up about ten minutes before we arrived to the start, long after there was anything we could do about it.

The Contre la Montre, on the other hand, always shows a different rider. No matter how dominant the rider, they are always deep in thought, never chuckling, never grinning. There is no one to lighten the mood, no distracting the mind from the pain and inherent uncertainty of the body’s ability to cope with the suffering that is to come. There is an appointment with the Man with the Hammer somewhere on the road you are about to travel down; he is as unpredictable as he is ruthless.

The rider who waits on the start line of a time trial is a rider who is squaring up with the reality that no matter the state of their training, they are waiting for the man.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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litvi says:

Sep 1 2016 at 11:20 am

@universo

Frank needs only to calculate the Coefficient of Difficulty for himself — then he’ll need his powers of abstract focus to see the number { coefficient } — which ideally is V or V.2V

Yeah, but math is like... hard n' shit. I was after the idea of how a phrase or two will repeat itself on loop in your mind throughout the course of a criterium or time trial.

Or wait... does that only happen to me?
universo says:

Sep 1 2016 at 11:38 am

@litvi

@universo

Frank needs only to calculate the Coefficient of Difficulty for himself — then he’ll need his powers of abstract focus to see the number { coefficient } — which ideally is V or V.2V

Yeah, but math is like… hard n’ shit. I was after the idea of how a phrase or two will repeat itself on loop in your mind throughout the course of a criterium or time trial.

Or wait… does that only happen to me?

Not just you. Me too -- used to berate myself by thinking "wake up!". Frank may not like doing math while onboard -- throwout the analytics.
litvi says:

Sep 1 2016 at 11:41 am

@universo

@litvi

@universo

Frank needs only to calculate the Coefficient of Difficulty for himself — then he’ll need his powers of abstract focus to see the number { coefficient } — which ideally is V or V.2V

Yeah, but math is like… hard n’ shit. I was after the idea of how a phrase or two will repeat itself on loop in your mind throughout the course of a criterium or time trial.

Or wait… does that only happen to me?

Not just you. Me too — used to berate myself by thinking “wake up!”. Frank may not like doing math while onboard — throwout the analytics.

@frank may not like doing math while onboard what? Earth?
ChrisO says:

Sep 1 2016 at 11:55 am

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Some TTs on fast courses will have more applicants than spaces and they will have a PB cut off. A guy in our club with a 25 mile PB of 54 mins got knocked back for an event on the course where Alex Dowsett set the national record.

Not come across any chatty starters yet but it would be annoying for sure. People are always chatty afterwards - TTs have good cake I generally find - but pre-race most observe respectful introverted silence.
wiscot says:

Sep 1 2016 at 12:23 pm

@ChrisO

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Some TTs on fast courses will have more applicants than spaces and they will have a PB cut off. A guy in our club with a 25 mile PB of 54 mins got knocked back for an event on the course where Alex Dowsett set the national record.

Not come across any chatty starters yet but it would be annoying for sure. People are always chatty afterwards – TTs have good cake I generally find – but pre-race most observe respectful introverted silence.

Yup, we did it proper. It was always a subtle sign of your standing if you got a 0 or a 5 number.

Couldn't get in with a PB of 54 mins? That's crazy, but just shows you how things/times have changed. I'm not sure what the Scottish record for a 25 was in the 80s, but I doubt it was 54 minutes. Maybe 55 something - probably by Graeme Obree. Our courses were just not that fast and TT bars and disc wheels were in their prohibitively expensive infancy. My PB (on a standard steel Colnago road bike) was 57' 40" on a course with numerous long drags and 13 encounters with roundabouts! I think only national championship TTs filled up regularly.

I just checked, the Scottish 25 mile record is indeed held by Obree - 48' 43".(1994) He holds the 10 record too with 19' 29" (1997) In fact, Graeme holds the 6 fastest 10 times (no-one went sub 20 minutes in Scotland until David Whitehall in 1982, if that tells you how fast/slow the courses are) and the four fastest 25 times. That both Obree's records are now about 20 years old tells you how awesome he was.
chuckp says:

Sep 1 2016 at 2:40 pm

I'm still waiting for Godot.
Oli says:

Sep 1 2016 at 6:15 pm

@KogaLover

@Buck Rogers

@Oli

Got twenty-six dollars in my hand…just in case I need to stop at a cafe.

You got me again, Oli. Which famous cyclist said this??? (and that famous cyclist better not be Oli!)

Bowie, and he’s dead. Didn’t know he rode a bike though…

Bowie? BOWIE?? It's Lou Reed!
Teocalli says:

Sep 2 2016 at 1:34 am

An alternative to the TT/Hill Climb - http://denbiesduels.webplus.net/index.html
RobSandy says:

Sep 2 2016 at 3:11 am

@ChrisO

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Seriously? Every TT I've done (apart from club ones) has been with the 'seeded' numbering. You know the fast guys if they are a multiple of 10. Maybe one day I'll be a multiple of 5, one day.
wiscot says:

Sep 2 2016 at 6:41 am

@RobSandy

@ChrisO

@wiscot

This. From 81 to 90 I must have ridden hundreds of open and club TTs. In the early years I was the one being caught, but gradually got a better number and did some catching. A good (full field) TT will have the fastest 11 guys at numbers 120, 110, 100 etc, and the next 11 fastest at 115, 105 etc. In between are the rabbits!

The worst thing is a chatty timekeeper. You want to warm up, collecting your thoughts for the effort ahead and get your mind right. Nothing worse than a timekeeper or holder that wants to converse.

Interesting, I like that idea. In the UK they do it as in the Tours. Slowest first, fastest last.

Seriously? Every TT I’ve done (apart from club ones) has been with the ‘seeded’ numbering. You know the fast guys if they are a multiple of 10. Maybe one day I’ll be a multiple of 5, one day.

I forgot to add, tradition held that the first rider off (#1) was a member of the organizing club. This was done on the understanding that he/she knew the course well and would stop and fill in for a missing turn marshall if needed. Ahhhh, the good old days.