Categories: Belgian AffirmationsLa Vie VelominatusLook ProMusings from the V-Bunker

Body Language

As a matter of fact, no, I hadn't forgotten how awesome I am.

A true leader rarely asks someone to do something for them; the best leaders inspire through their own example those around them to follow suit and join them in their cause. The leader is fueled by something that is not externally driven, it is born from within and appears in this world as passion and conviction. These qualities, in their genuine state, are irresistible.

Style is a special kind of art, it is not the kind of art that is hung on the wall and gazed upon by passers by; like leadership, it is not externally focussed but instead is something one uses to shape how we feel. We become a piece of living, breathing art. And then, hypothetically, after you spill some mustard down the front of your lovely, crisp shirt, the art might also take on an olfactory quality as well.

A foundational principle of La Vie Velominatus is the power of Looking Fantastic: of dressing up in impeccable, matching kit and climbing aboard a perfectly curated, cleaned, and tuned machine before setting out onto the road brimming with confidence and oozing morale. As Paul Fournel said, “To look good is already to go fast.”

There might actually be some science behind it, which I’ve never needed but always assumed there would be.

Research suggests that our own body language can alter our hormonal levels to the effect that they significantly change the way we perceive ourselves. (If you haven’t watched Amy Cuddy‘s TED Talk on Body Language, you should.) In her studies, she found that something as simple as adopting a high power stance for two minutes can increase testosterone levels by 80% (making one more confident and assertive) and reduce cortisol levels by 25% (making one less reactive to stress).

Both of these sound a lot like how kitting up for a cold, rainy ride in my Flandrian Best makes me feel; I will set out into the deluge brimming with confidence and ready to face the cold and risks that come as a part of not only riding a bike, but riding one in wet, poor-visibility conditions. At high speed. If standing in a bathroom with your arms in the air for two minutes can measurably change your hormone levels for the better, then I have every reason to believe that knowing that you Look Fantastic at All Times would have the same, if not stronger, effect.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

Oli says:

Feb 5 2016 at 4:15 pm

@Teocalli

None of those are a real replica of the proper classic 90s Mapei kit.
frank says:

Feb 5 2016 at 5:00 pm

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@DeKerr

I won’t hit Quote as that pic should never be seen again. It’s like one of those shitty paintings that supposedly contain a picture if you look long enough. Alas, with this kit you could look at it for a month and all you’d see is pain. Fortunately it was only used as “training” kit. No-one could make it look good; however, next to that Mapei shit-fest kit, it looks as good as La Vie Claire.

Oi!!! Let’s not get carried away there, Mate!!! You should know better than comparing anything to the La Vie Claire kit. That’s like comparing someone to the Virgin Mary when speaking with a Catholic; it’s just not done.

Ahem.
Buck Rogers says:

Feb 5 2016 at 6:50 pm

@frank

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

@DeKerr

I won’t hit Quote as that pic should never be seen again. It’s like one of those shitty paintings that supposedly contain a picture if you look long enough. Alas, with this kit you could look at it for a month and all you’d see is pain. Fortunately it was only used as “training” kit. No-one could make it look good; however, next to that Mapei shit-fest kit, it looks as good as La Vie Claire.

Oi!!! Let’s not get carried away there, Mate!!! You should know better than comparing anything to the La Vie Claire kit. That’s like comparing someone to the Virgin Mary when speaking with a Catholic; it’s just not done.

Ahem.

So you're sayin' that my kit has arrived?!?!?!

Of course, the Vive La Vie kit is beyond approach and does not need or beg comparison.
wilburrox says:

Feb 5 2016 at 7:33 pm

@Haldy

@frank

@Buck Rogers

This is really, really bad. So bad you can actually make it work? And I'd still wear it before today's Astana kits.
frank says:

Feb 5 2016 at 9:09 pm

@wilburrox

@Haldy

@frank

@Buck Rogers

This is really, really bad. So bad you can actually make it work? And I’d still wear it before today’s Astana kits.

It's so bad it's good, like extra jalapenos in your pho.
litvi says:

Feb 5 2016 at 11:53 pm

@wiscot

@chuckp

@wiscot

Great story! And FWIW, my real name’s not Wiscot . . . I’d be quite interested in knowing what some of the other Velominati are really called. I heard Frank’s real name is Hennie.

FFS … Frank’s real name is Francis … and he is a she.

Makes sense given his constant fretting and worrying about his weight. Mind you, most women wouldn’t brag about their chest size being smaller than their hips as Francis did the other week.

Hey y'all, minor point: 'Francis' is a he. (Think Francisco. Ooh... that's fun to say... Francisco...)

Anyway, a girl would be Frances. Or Francine.

Or Frank.
litvi says:

Feb 6 2016 at 12:00 am

@frank

@wilburrox

@Haldy

@frank

@Buck Rogers

This is really, really bad. So bad you can actually make it work? And I’d still wear it before today’s Astana kits.

It’s so bad it’s good, like extra jalapenos in your pho.

Tell you what... However fugly the kit was to some subjective viewers, it worked. I've used Mapei mortar for tiling jobs, specifically because I spotted the pastel geometric pattern across the aisle and that's what I bought. Don't forget that's what it's all about. 1) Pros get a pass on most rules in Part IV, and 2) De Vlaamse Leeuw pulled it off anyway. That's style.
Oli says:

Feb 6 2016 at 2:11 am

I've got two pairs of the old Mapei-GB bib-shorts and they unfortunately have a pink square located right where the old twig and berries are most prominent, drawing ones eyes straight to the spot as I used to get told repeatedly in horrified and/or mocking tones.
Ccos says:

Feb 6 2016 at 4:10 am

@chuckp

Classic. Bow ties are the business for sure. I do have to slip out of the house covert-style when wearing them since my VMH is not a fan.
fignons barber says:

Feb 6 2016 at 5:16 am

@wiscot

@Buck Rogers

@wiscot

Damn! Never mind! That was just me commenting before doing a full read again. Hell, at least I read enough of your post to see La Vie Claire, right?

Me, I just look at the pictures. And right now, a picture of the Atala kit would do just nicely. (Hint, hint to people with better tech skillz than me.)

Frueler has been waiting to pull out the salami.