Categories: Look Pro

Look Pro: Drink Properly

Minnie Phinney takes a swig. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

Riding a bicycle involves much more than just pushing the pedals around in a perfect sweep of muscular elegance while Looking Fantastic at all times. There are all sorts of soft skills involved like learning to shift properly, learning to corner properly, learning to crash properly, learning to criticize a fellow rider’s puncture-repair technique, learning to chide a struggling rider in a language you don’t speak, and learning to drink from your bidon1 while in full flight.

One of the cornerstones of being Casually Deliberate is the art of gracefully sipping from your bidon while riding butt-to-check-to-shoulder-to-elbow in the bunch at 50 kmph or while suffering on the wheels in the gutter. Ain’t no one gonna wait for your sissy ass while you ask everyone to slow down because you’re a bit parched. Whats worse is having to look down and take your eyes off the road and the rider in front of you as your hand flails about in search of the bidon.

To drink from a bidon is to sip from it in a graceful and fluid manner while maintaining direction and speed without making an embarrassing faux pas such as looking down at your hand as you reach for it, not holding your line, slowing down, allowing a bit of precious fluid to escape somewhere other than into your mouth, or – Merckx forbid – dropping it. Just like the art of sensing what gear you’re in or being aware that your tires are about to slip while cornering or climbing, we must learn to retrieve our bidon from its cage, take a drink, and return it without your eyes ever leaving the road or rider in front of you or swerving.

On the rivet, one must also learn to drink in a manner that allows for breathing while avoiding the aspiration of fluid, resulting in what Science calls “choking”. There is no set technique for this; for me I usually drink in frequent small sips, but I will also chug in massive bursts of bidon-crushing squeezes when the occasion calls for it.

As for whether one is to grab the bidon upside down or rightside up, I grab mine rightside up but the population appears to divided along what I call the “Hamburger Divide”. This divide is defined by the inexplicable tendency for people to flip their hamburgers over and lay them upside down on their plate, twisting their hands around, and flipping the burger over during its journey to the mouth where it is (hopefully) eaten. This technique seems woefully rife with superfluous movements. Nevertheless, preliminary survey data suggests that those individuals who eat their burgers this way also grab their bidon upside down. Admittedly, Jan Ullrich made drinking from a bidon in this fashion look hella tough, so I’m not about to impose a new Rule insisting on its abolishment. I’m also betting he made eating a hamburger look pretty awesome, mostly because everything he did was art.

1Pronounce it correctly: bee’ don

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @Haldy

    @wiscot

    @Haldy

    @frank

    @Ccos

    Le Professor was the man. Fantastic photo.

    Yes, he was. As @Gianni says, if Figgles did it, then it was mucho Pro.

    Love this shot too, although I can't understand why he'd be on Canti's on a mountain stage.

    Ran out of spare bikes, and broke out a training bike? There is no race number on the bike he's riding....

    Because they were lighter and better than the Campagnolo Deltas the other riders are using?

    In which case he still could be using the standard calipers, since they still made them? I still think it is some sort of back up bike since it doesn't have a race number on it and he had some sort of mechanical prior to this point of the race.

    If it was weight, they'd have ridden Chorus Monoplanars like PDM did - and his training bikes would all have been road bikes; the CX rig would have different geometry, most notably the higher BB. Not to mention that the canti braking power would have been much, much, much reduced over calipers, another thing you'd not want during a mountain descent.

  • @frank

    @Haldy

    @wiscot

    @Haldy

    @frank

    @Ccos

    Le Professor was the man. Fantastic photo.

    Yes, he was. As @Gianni says, if Figgles did it, then it was mucho Pro.

    Love this shot too, although I can't understand why he'd be on Canti's on a mountain stage.

    Ran out of spare bikes, and broke out a training bike? There is no race number on the bike he's riding....

    Because they were lighter and better than the Campagnolo Deltas the other riders are using?

    In which case he still could be using the standard calipers, since they still made them? I still think it is some sort of back up bike since it doesn't have a race number on it and he had some sort of mechanical prior to this point of the race.

    If it was weight, they'd have ridden Chorus Monoplanars like PDM did - and his training bikes would all have been road bikes; the CX rig would have different geometry, most notably the higher BB. Not to mention that the canti braking power would have been much, much, much reduced over calipers, another thing you'd not want during a mountain descent.

    Reduced braking power....isn't that what you want on a descent? After all brakes only slow you down. I seem to remember Fignon having lost it on a descent in the '87 tour and I am pretty sure he had calipers on that day.   :-)

    All kidding aside, that set up is probably more powerful than standard calipers. Having worked on more than a few set-ups like that myself over the years. If set up correctly (and I am assuming the team mechanic knew what he was doing..) those levers have a greater mechanical advantage than the mountain bike levers those cantis would have been normally paired with.

  • This is my approach...

    But nothing wrong with this one, either:

    But this one take the crown for most Casually Deliberate drinking technique.

  • As with any life skill, the key is to begin learning as soon as possible...

  • @sthilzy

    To finish drinking properly looking pro, don't forget to jettison the bidon properly;

    one must also learn to drink in a manner that allows for breathing while avoiding the aspiration of fluid

    This is one thing yet to master.

    The next step is to master drilling the moto with a bidon Chipo-style - see the video in the comments of this fantastic post from a few years ago: http://www.velominati.com/tradition/youtube-mario-cipollini/

  • Was looking for a pic of Cancellara throwing his bidon away to match the Boonen one.

    Instead I found this:

    Unrelated, but Frank Schleck. Maybe reaching for a new bidon?

    I have trouble imagining Hinault doing that.

  • @Gianni

    I remember watching Laurent Fignon (in his Chateau d'Ax-Gatorade kit) soloing away in a Tour stage, in the mountains. Everytime he went for the bidon he held it the same way; hand underneath, palm up, pinky finger closest to face. It looked so pro I assumed that was how it should be done and how I've always done it since. And even though it drives Frank nuts, if I have one bottle on my bike, I have in the seat-post cage.

    This.  Always.  I've also heard that keeping the hand underneath keeps your elbow in, reducing frontal area (and hence drag), as well as making it less likely someone or something will catch your arm flapping around like a bird and cause a crash.

    And Fignon was a monster.

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