Riding a bicycle involves much more than just pushing the pedals around in a perfect sweep of muscular elegance while Looking Fantastic at all times. There are all sorts of soft skills involved like learning to shift properly, learning to corner properly, learning to crash properly, learning to criticize a fellow rider’s puncture-repair technique, learning to chide a struggling rider in a language you don’t speak, and learning to drink from your bidon1 while in full flight.
One of the cornerstones of being Casually Deliberate is the art of gracefully sipping from your bidon while riding butt-to-check-to-shoulder-to-elbow in the bunch at 50 kmph or while suffering on the wheels in the gutter. Ain’t no one gonna wait for your sissy ass while you ask everyone to slow down because you’re a bit parched. Whats worse is having to look down and take your eyes off the road and the rider in front of you as your hand flails about in search of the bidon.
To drink from a bidon is to sip from it in a graceful and fluid manner while maintaining direction and speed without making an embarrassing faux pas such as looking down at your hand as you reach for it, not holding your line, slowing down, allowing a bit of precious fluid to escape somewhere other than into your mouth, or – Merckx forbid – dropping it. Just like the art of sensing what gear you’re in or being aware that your tires are about to slip while cornering or climbing, we must learn to retrieve our bidon from its cage, take a drink, and return it without your eyes ever leaving the road or rider in front of you or swerving.
On the rivet, one must also learn to drink in a manner that allows for breathing while avoiding the aspiration of fluid, resulting in what Science calls “choking”. There is no set technique for this; for me I usually drink in frequent small sips, but I will also chug in massive bursts of bidon-crushing squeezes when the occasion calls for it.
As for whether one is to grab the bidon upside down or rightside up, I grab mine rightside up but the population appears to divided along what I call the “Hamburger Divide”. This divide is defined by the inexplicable tendency for people to flip their hamburgers over and lay them upside down on their plate, twisting their hands around, and flipping the burger over during its journey to the mouth where it is (hopefully) eaten. This technique seems woefully rife with superfluous movements. Nevertheless, preliminary survey data suggests that those individuals who eat their burgers this way also grab their bidon upside down. Admittedly, Jan Ullrich made drinking from a bidon in this fashion look hella tough, so I’m not about to impose a new Rule insisting on its abolishment. I’m also betting he made eating a hamburger look pretty awesome, mostly because everything he did was art.
1Pronounce it correctly: bee’ don
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@The Grande Fondue
Actually that's also Faboo, but on the final stage of the 2008 Tour. (The only time CSC has the chance to ride with yellow bar wrap.)
@Owen
Yes, that Pedalwan has much to learn yet, but at least s/he has started down the path.
@Frank-
But this one take the crown for most Casually Deliberate drinking technique.
Love it!
Speaking of correct pronunciation, I've been digging this: http://www.speedmetalcycling.com/name-that-cyclist/
I hope they expand it to more cycling terms - and I note that they're looking for native speakers to help - they definitely need an Aussie to correct the Heinrich Haussler entry - I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "Hen-ry House-la-mayt".
@sthilzy
Beat me to it.... I had that photo locked and loaded ready to post. Nothing says " get the fuck outa my way " quite like that photo !
@Mikael Liddy Cayute! Must be coming up 1yr soon? Velomigrommie 2 is walking and climbing on everything and from memory is close in age to yours.
I'm with @ChrisO on the bidon transfer system. No one way to skin the 'nana though.
My mechanic is on the smoothly pull form cage, flick up and over in the air, catch and underhand sip, then smoothly transfer back to the cage method. It looks fooking boss, but he is a pain engine on the bike, so you'd expect it from him...
@Barracuda
It seems full still...Maybe he hasn't mastered replacing the bidon in its proper place and is throwing it in frustration at his inability...or maybe he just doesn't care that it's nearly full because he has 8 riders, at least one team car, and legions of gsns eager to replace that bottle. Must be nice to be Boonen.
@Beers today in fact, this puppy is locked & loaded in the present queue: http://www.earlyrider.net.au/shop/products/juno-red
@Mikael Liddy
Ahhh, the good ol' Spherovelo. Looks aero, ITT's round the lounge room ?
@frank
Checked my form today, would be hard to film, it's all done in the same movement, and I definitely don't flip it, as you pull the bidon up you just let it go momentum moves it up and I just grab it again further down allowing you to squeeze around the waist, no suck required. It's probably in the air for .25 of a second, so would need Go-Pro on Slow-Mo to show you, unless you can get a book release tour down under past the accountants!