Look Pro: En Danseuse

Clad in skin-tight clothes and cleated shoes, we walk with all the grace of a chicken with a repetitive stress injury. Yet once astride our machines, hovering above the tarmac and enraptured by the sensation of flight, we are transformed into a picture of fluidly harmonic articulation which belies the power and skill that drives us forward. Years of fine-tuning our position, together with thousands of kilometers passed under our tires have built to perfect our magnificent stroke and continue to blur the lines between rider, machine, and passion.

The still is shattered, however, as we move out of the saddle in search of more speed and power. Once an elegant creature, the rider is spontaneously transformed into a beast of bobbing head, swaying saddle, and protuberant elbow. It is a complicated matter, this business of riding out of the saddle, but when done correctly can embody all the grace and power of the seated cyclist. The French understand this well enough to have given mastery of this art a special phrase, en danseuse, which means that the rider exhibits all the elegance and beauty of a dancer when riding out of the saddle, particularly when going uphill. Few Pros embody this, and even fewer enthusiasts.

It’s not beyond the grasp of the Velominatus to Look Fantastic while standing. Next time you lift your caboose off the saddle, keep these points in mind.

• Avoid the Bopping Betty. You’re trying to look like you’re dancing, but steer clear of doing The Bop. Alberto Contador is the master of this particular faux-pas, in spite of his astonishing speed. But assuming you’re carrying more weight on your upper body than a Spanish Beef-Eating Uphill Specialist, you’re going to want to keep the torso reasonably still; its the heaviest part of your body and every time you lift it up, it wastes energy.
• Don’t Be a Handlebar Humper. We love our bikes, but not that much; try to keep from thrusting your hips into your stem like Lance Armstrong. Its a passable technique on dry roads, but riding with your weight so far forward not only looks distressingly sexual, but will unweight your rear wheel too much and you’ll find yourself slipping when the road pitches up or becomes damp.
• Avoid the Monster Mash. Though you want to change into a lower cadence, you also don’t want to overdo it. Cadel Evans and Greg LeMond are two riders who come to mind as trying to mash their bikes to death, climbing out of the saddle in a monster gear.
• Channel your Pantani Power Ranger. I don’t know why it’s so hard to climb in the drops like Pantani did, but it’s also wicked fast. If you’re looking for some extra power, go searching for it in the drops. You’ll burn out quickly, but you’ll get up over the hill quickly too.
• Go Gorilla. Ask a Pro how they go so fast, and they usually look at you quizzically for a while before eventually giving an answer somewhere between “why would you go slower?” and “push harder on the pedals”. My favorite piece of advice is this: try to break your handlebars. Standing is all about counter-acting forces, and you can’t do it without using your handlebars, so try to break them. You won’t. Probably.

Diabolical Finish: 

Almost every climbing style imaginable (and some not) can be found in the 2010 Fleche Wallone finale:

*Thanks to G’rilla for inspiring this article.