To Look Pro is to strive to Look Fantastic and to be at our ease on a bicycle. It is to walk the line between form and function and is based entirely on the premise that the professional peloton is far more experienced in this endeavour than we shall ever be. Their lessons speak through their actions on the bike, serving as a beacon to provide us the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and triumphs. But this is a dangerous game; being a Pro does not mean one Looks Fantastic. Because of the Commutative Property of Looking Pro, Looking Fantastic does not mean you Look Pro. The Pros are our inspiration, but care must be taken to choose your muse wisely.
Looking Pro in good weather is an simple matter; bibs, jersey, (white) socks, shoes, and helmet. Tan your guns, match your kit properly, and get on with it. But when the chill sets in and layers are added, the matter becomes quite complicated quite quickly. Rule #21 and Good Taste dictate that we dress in our Flandrian Best; we don knickers or knee warmers, gillets, arm warmers, Belgian Booties or shoe covers, slip caps beneath our helmets, and hope to encounter some good old-fashioned gritty roads.
The preference for knee warmers over tights distills down to one elemental fact: no matter how one might try to disguise them, tights are simply not an attractive garment. Not on cyclists. Not on skiers. Not on overweight women at the market. Not on fit women at the Yoga studio. Not on runners, not on swimmers. Not in a box, not on a fox.
As is customary, I will leverage the powers of photography to illustrate my point. A casual glance at this particular photo shows a collection of proper hardmen rattling over the muddy cobbles of Omloop Het Nieuwsblad. It is plainly obvious that perennial hardman Tomeke Boonen was suffering from some kind of mental trauma, as he chose to don full tights rather than his usual knee warmers. These actions are not without their consequence, and you can plainly see he is ill at ease and destined to perform below his best for the remainder of the season. Eddy Boasson Hagen, in the blurry distance, suffered a similar fate and it took him until July to recover from his mistake. Boonen wasn’t so lucky, presumably because such an offense holds greater punishment for actual Flandrians as opposed to étrangers.
Then we have the others. Thor Hushovd, Lars Boom, and Philipe Gilbert all have two things in common: they all Look Fantastic, and they’re all dressed in their Flandrian Best. Hushovd has obviously already taken the safety off the howitzers, while Gilbert, if I’m not mistaken, is smirking – apparently at Boonen’s choice. Boom’s face can’t be read, but his posture is that of a Dutchman with intense Belgian aspirations.
When making decisions about how to dress for the cold and wet, keep the following points in mind.
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Although I now live in a place (Barcelona) where deep cold is never, except when doing long rides into the Pyrenees in the wintertime, the topic of cold weather gear is close to me.
I am a firm believer in the old-timer saying that below 20degC your knees should be covered, unless you are racing when they should be uncovered and embrocated down to 0degC. That being said the covering is knee warmers, not tights.
Arm warmers are great, and I disagree with the comments about pushing them down. Open vest, pushed down arm warmers on a climb is very pro, along with the gesture of zipping up the vest, and pulling up the arm warmers at the summit, before the descent. But there are a couple of things that must be kept in mind. NEVER let the arm warmers come over the sleeves of the jersey, or leave a gap when they are up.
Unless it is over 30degC (most of the summer), I always wear a cap under my helmet. I have searched and experimented with many and the best quality, and only ones that come in LAAARGE, are the ones by Rapha. Who also have a great, brimmed wool hat for colder weather, under helmet use. I have simply grown used to the sensation of the hat, and having a brim to keep either sun or rain of my glasses.
The other thing I completely agree with are the virtues of wool. I always wear a base layer under my jersey, mesh in summer, and as soon as it stops being ridiculously hot, wool. As the temperature drops I just use thicker, and then more, layers. There is nothing better to avoid clammy, shivering descents after big climbs than wool. This applies to jerseys whenever possible as well. Plastic clothes are not where its at.
Back to Barcelona, I've been here for 14 years now and it still amazes me how cyclists bundle up. At 15degC, you see lots of riders in full thermal jackets, tights and even with a neck warmer pulled up over their faces - anti-Flandrian for sure. They say it is to lose weight - clearly the wrong approach. You lose weight by being cold, not by dehydrating yourself.
Its a sure thing, no subject stirs the hornets nest more than judgements on acceptable apparel.
I mean try saying "You're not wearing that are you?" at the pre ride espresso joint. (Try saying anywhere for that matter.
Nice thread though. Not a white sock in view in the title shot FWIW. I remember on this day we were all slagging Thor for great rainbow turd potential. His Tour was a first class redemption. But there's no denying he oozes PRO notwithstanding his continuing flirtation with Rule #50.
As for the Tri guy...note wrist cockering...gotta admire his commitment to his image, tasteless as it may be. He's got the potential for a A grade pair of wookie shorts.
Its summer here. So nice to spend 2 minutes kitting up rather than 20...
@RedRanger
I think the Leopard rider is Jens. do you really want to inform him of his "violations"? I think not . . .
@frank
That's an HRM strap just above the smugglers, yeh? Classy.
@Blah
You need to switch your computer off for a couple of hours, mate. You're looking at an area of the page that you really shouldn't. If needs be, google "ladies tights" the "yoga" part of @frank's search can be dropped under circumstances such as these.
@Blah
Confirming the saying that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, or in this case, sigmoid colon.
Come see me in the dead of winter in Kansas. I'd love to see how your "breathing calves" feel in -6 temps. So do I look pro and get frostbite while being a hardman? More do I look pro in my laundry room on my trainer while shunning an opportunity to be a hardman? I think I have reached an excellent query, please help!
@BikeMechNo3
It is possible to look pro while training indoors: Check this out. But note that you must wear white socks, a long sleeved wool jersey and be surrounded by bikes, wheels, etc.
@Fredrik
And of course be on rollers, not a wind trainer.
@BikeMechNo3
Remember, in what was quite possibly the greatest example of being a "hardman" in cycling - Bernard Hinault's 1980 win in Liege-Bastogne-Liege, it was so cold and wet that he lost feeling in the tips of several fingers permanently. He was a pro and paid to do what he did. We're not. So I say exercise caution and commonsense when the temps get very low. (I live in WI and will go out when the temps are in the low to mid 20s, but if it's really windy or the roads are shitty, I'm staying put and safe).