To look good is already to go fast.
-Paul Fournel, Vélo
My approach to research is pretty straight forward. First, I develop an opinion – usually in a cognitively compromised state. This is the first step in the process for the simple reason that it avoids the bulk of the hard work involving things like reading and thinking. Next, I cherry-pick evidence from my experience and what few materials I have read on the subject in order to support my opinion. Finally, I defend myself with whatever dirty tricks or facts I need to invent in order to maintain my position.
It is only on rare occasions that I will be unable to guess at the evidence I need to support my claim, but in those cases I already know I’m right, so not finding evidence that contradicts my position is almost the same as finding some that supports it. I consider those circumstances validation of my opinion and thus fortify the resolve that I’m right.
Over the lifetime of The Rules, numerous bright sparks have popped up out of the ether like some sort of internet Whack-A-Mole to point out that many of them are all about aesthetics. The point is true enough, but the Velominati have always understoodd that Looking Fantastic is the fundamental building block to finding the motivation to get out on the bike day in, day out – Rule #9 or shine. The fact that the hard work of training is what actually makes you faster is glossed over when you get excited about kitting up in your Flandrian Best, echoing the summoning of Flemish hardmen who have come before you, and using their image to inspire you to get out and lay down the V. Its basic, really.
Despite how certain I’ve always been that this is Truth and that The Rules have been handed down by Merckx from high on Mount Velomis to inspire the masses, an Austrian professor, Dr. Erik Postma of the University of Zurich, recently conducted a study to see whether Looking Fantastic really does indicate athletic prowess.
The results confirmed that Science is unnecessary when you’ve already guessed the truth, but nevertheless it is handy to have a scientific study support my assumptions in case I can’t make up facts as quickly as I need to during an argument. It also strikes me as interesting that the study found that women on the pill are about as good at identifying attractive males as men are.
Thanks to Shaka Mitchell for sending this validating study along to us.
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@Chris
I had a boss at an early job where I met KRX-10 who was a real firecracker. KRX-10 naturally used an Apple, and the boss would sneak in and stick Fisher-Price stickers all over it after-hours.
Seeing these helmets, I'm find myself yearning for those same stickers...
@Nate
Quite honestly, I'm just smart enough to sort out that you two are being hilarious, but I have no idea why and as such am unable to issue the badge in good conscience.
@G'rilla
...and it is all neutralized by those socks.
I love that he didn't race CX all year, decided to come back and won the Worlds. I've never seen a photo of him off the bike; must Look Epicly Fantastic.
@frank When I started reading that I thought you were comparing desecrating Apples with Fisher Price stickers to posting pictures of blokes in dive masks on your beloved web blog.
As for the helmets; they're no worse than many of the others out there. At the end of the day, most of us, pros and mere mortals alike fail miserably to wear them with style. If it wasn't for the (questionable)* argument about safety, helmets would never have got off the ground, you'd have got round to designing a V-cap and we'd all be sporting those.
*Given the amount of Hello Kitty posted above, I thought I could risk re-igniting the helmet flame wars.
@frank
I do however think the "etc" could do with a little bit of definition if it is to become a rule.
@Chris
I'm sorry, Chris. Were you saying something about V-Caps?
@frank
And can we order it ? Stop teasing us Frank.
As for you Chris, there's plenty of other caps out there to look fantastic in. I know I do.
(now you're going to mention those bloody tights again)
@frank
Not to be too nit-picky, but when the brim is down, shouldn't "Obey the Rules" read left-to-right? It reads correctly if the brim is up . . .
@wiscot
Think about that a little bit and I think you answered your own question.
@ChrisO Damn I'd forgotten about those tights. I'm going to have to get my arse up to the Scottish Cogal just to see them again..........
Frank,
It is obvious that the brim is correctly designed. What is not obvious is:
HOW THE FUCK TO WE ORDER THESE ALTOGETHER BITCHIN' CAPS?